Page 44 of Cruel Bargain

“Ah…since when did you suddenly develop a sex drive?”

“I kind of made a deal with him: he gets my sis; I give up the goods. Then…it came time to pay up, and when I told him I was a virgin, he let me stay that way.”

“Oh…I didn’t realize you were a virgin.”

“He didn’t either. I’m thankful he didn’t pressure me into actual sex, and I have to admit, he did do some things that I found very…acceptable.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Let’s just say it got me thinking a lot about what I’m missing out on.”

“Did he lick your kitty?”

My cheeks blush profusely. “Don’t say that!”

“You’re so damn cute. I can see why Alistair remains enamored, despite you being a total female douchebag.”

“Wow—guess I’m never opening up to you again.”

“What? Did you want me to lie and tell you all your little feelings are validated?” She shrugs. “I’m not that type of girl. The world sucks, but we’re safe down here, and it’s because of our Keepers. I’m glad you’re finally coming around.”

A week ago, I would have stormed from the room, calling her all sorts of names, but now I get it. I understand that the world isn’t as black and white as I’d allowed myself to believe. It’s murky shades of gray.

“I guess it took a while, but you’re right. I’ve come around.”

“So, are you going to fuck him?” Brooke asks without missing a beat.

“I plan on it, but I’m slightly terrified.”

“Of what?”

“I’ve seen it—it’s huge.”

She giggles. “It’s his job to get you ready.”

“It’s like preparing for a hurricane. You can follow all the rules, but what if it’s too much?”

She gives me a concerned look. “Are you worried he’s going to drown you in cum?”

“No! I mean…”

Brooke’s hand is pressed to her face as she giggles.

“You were just kidding. Obviously.”

“Yep, but I don’t feel bad because you were being dramatic.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“Just don’t think on it too hard or you’ll make it way scarier than it is. Be yourself, have fun, and if it hurts, know that it gets better.”

Seeing as how the women here all adore their Keepers, I’m pretty sure she’s being honest, but it does little to mitigate my fear. I can hardly understand my feelings because it’s not the physical pain that has me anxious.

Everything is going to change. I’ll no longer be the rebel outcast that refuses to get with the program. I’m going to turn into Step-Kept, the happy housewife of a man who’s literally ‘keeping’ a woman.

But this is how the world works now. There are no heroes anymore. Just the cruel reality we face each day and those we have to commune with in order to survive.

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