I’d like to stop by if that’s okay.
Her breath rushed out in a sigh, and she closed her eyes. He was taking care of at least part of the decision for her. Robin’s nerves jangled as she texted back a simpleokay.She needed this, whether she wanted it or not.
She felt him before she heard him, a strange agitation in her chest that made her snap her head up from the pile of laundry she was folding. She padded to the back door and stepped out onto the deck.
Brody stood there, just below the short flight of steps that led down into the yard. His eyes looked just as hollow as hers felt. “Do you always walk out into the darkness to meet strange guys on your back porch?”
“Well, the light—” Robin had turned around to gesture at the deck light, but she hadn’t turned it on at all. She hadn’t even needed it. “I guess that just depends on whether or not the guy has actually turned me into a wolf.”
He took a careful step up onto the first stair. “Robin, I know you need some time to process this. It’s a big deal and can’t be easy for you. I was going to stay away for a while until you were ready to talk, but I’m concerned.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, though she wasn’t cold. “Why?” Was something going to happen to her? Something worse than turning into a wild beast?
Brody inched up another step. “Another woman was found dead in the woods last night. I don’t know what’s happening, but I want to know that you’ll be able to protect yourself if you need to.”
She squinted at him, but she could see him with perfect clarity. He still had that same pitiful look in his eyes that she’d seen when she’d left his house. There was concern there, too. The hateful thoughts she’d had about him before, when she’d decided that he’d made all of this up just to get rid of her, suddenly made her feel horribly guilty. “I keep my doors locked, and I’ve got pepper spray.”
“No.” He ducked his head and let out a little laugh. “I mean, that’s great and all. But you have an even better weapon inside you now. Most people aren’t going to mess with a wolf, but you’d have to be able to shift into one before you could use it.”
“Brody, I don’t understand. I’m not entirely sure I’ve convinced myself that this is real, and I keep waiting to wake up. But my sense of smell is going berserk, and my hearing is super sensitive. I think I even had a whisker sticking out of my face today. Is this just going to happen to me whenever and wherever? Is it something I can control? Is it permanent?” She moved across the deck toward him, realizing she wanted the comfort of someone who knew what was happening. Perhaps the comfort of Brody himself.
“I don’t know where you are in your transition, so it’s hard to say. Why don’t we go find out?” He tipped his head toward the woods behind her bungalow.
She glanced at the darkness behind him. “Are you saying you want me to…” Robin trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence.
“Yeah. I think it’s important. And I’ll tell you everything I can.” Brody stepped aside, inviting her out into the shadows.
The fear and uncertainty she’d been suffering with all day had dissipated as soon as he’d arrived, and Robin decided to trust that as she walked with him down into the grass. “I’ve got a lot of questions.”
“I know, and I think I know what the first one is. From what you just told me, I’d say your wolf is already trying to make its first appearance. Can you feel it inside you? It’s something that’s separate from your human side, yet the two are wholly integrated. It doesn’t always agree with you, either.” He smiled a little as he said that.
There was that charm she’d fallen for, both boyish and beguiling. “I might. I can’t seem to sit down, even though I’m exhausted.”
He nodded. “With practice, you’ll be able to control it. You’ll also be able to control when and where you shift, but again, that’s with practice. You can’t just do this once and expect to have it down. Even those of us who are born with it need training.”
“Us?” Somehow, she’d only been concerned about herself and hadn’t realized there would be more than just the two of them. “There are others?”
“Plenty of them,” he said with a warm smile as they crossed into the darkest part of the yard. “Now, I want you to take a deep breath. When you let it out, imagine that it’s pulling the inside of you out with it, like you’re turning yourself inside out. Let go of everything you associate with being human, your grocery list, your job, right down to your fingers and toes.”
She filled her lungs and closed her eyes, visualizing herself melting away. But nothing happened.
“That’s okay,” he encouraged softly before she had the chance to ask what she’d done wrong. “Just try again.”
She wouldn’t give up on this. She wouldn’t let herself. Robin knew she had to do this, or she really would go crazy. The proof that it was all real, the kind of proof that she could see in the mirror, was what she needed. On her next breath, she felt something lurch inside her. A prickling tingle erupted all over her skin, followed by tufts of thick fur that slowly pushed up.
“That’s it.” Brody was right at her side, talking in that quiet way of his. “Bring it all out. It wants to come out, and all you have to do is let down your defenses so that it can. More deep breaths, Robin.”
Her fingers curled, and she watched her nails thicken into claws. Her lower back twinged, worse than the time she’d pulled a muscle lifting a laundry basket. She tried to breathe, but the air was shaky through her throat.
“Surrender yourself to it, Robin. I know it hurts. I promise it gets easier. Just trust me.”
And she did. He was the only one she could trust right now, but she wholeheartedly did. Robin twisted her head from side to side as bones crunched, the snapping echoing in her skull. It was a horrid sound, but it brought with it all the things she expected to see. Her muzzle stretched out long and gray at the front of her face. Her arms and legs changed, her knees making more popping noises until everything was oriented the right way. The grass was cool under her feet—not feet, paws. Pain radiated through her, throbbing in her bones, but it was happening.
There you go. You did it.
Holy shit.Robin looked down at herself and wished she had a mirror. Even without one, she could see the beautiful sheen of silver fur.I’m gorgeous!
He chuckled.Yes, you are. Now you should try to take a few steps.