Page 9 of Moon Bound

“Sit,” he breathes as we lower ourselves onto a grassy bank. Somehow, I slide beneath his arm as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Sitting in comfortable silence, I watch him from the corner of my eye as we watch the waves play. His expression changes a mile a second, too quick for me to pick up on what his internal battle could be. Just when my curiosity was about to win out, his body shifts subtly as his shoulders drop and his back straightens, his expression determined, if not exactly peaceful. I fight the urge to frown because while it is clear that whatever war had been waging in his head was over, what isn’t clear is what the outcome truly was. Even more so, what that outcome would mean. I was a little sick of constant unknowns.

With a deep sigh, he rests his cheek on my head. “I’ve already broken the cardinal rule; there’s no use in withholding the rest.”

He pauses briefly, “As I mentioned before, Ravens are a rare commodity allocated to guard certain beings. The supernatural council sent my mother to watch over yours when she began her affair with the vampire King. Part of my training was learning about your heritage and how it came to be.”

Shifting, Sawyer wraps his trench coat around my back like a large wing. I twist my head to blink at him, his jet-black hair hanging over us. An exact contrast to mine, but it suits him perfectly.

“Please, don’t stop. I need closure, Swayer. Can you give it to me?”

“First, you should know the consequences of what I did last night. When the council hears I revealed my true self, they will summon me, and there’s a huge chance I won’t return. I’ll tell you whatever you wish to know as my parting gift.”

If I thought I was panicking or angry earlier, it’s nothing compared to the intense pressure that builds in my chest as I try to remember how to breathe.Parting gift?I can count the myriad of ways that my life has been torn apart, Sawyer at least, has been one constant. One familiar form that has helped ease all the tension and pain I have felt throughout the years. Losing him is not something I am prepared for in the least. Did I know he was a shifter? No. Did it matter? Also, no. Ultimately, his absence would carve out whatever was left of my heart. I wasn’t ready. Not for the moment, where I will eventually look over my shoulder expecting to see his raven form on my shoulder or close by. Nor for the moment that I would call out for him, expecting him to answer before realizing that there would be no response. After my mom died, I had Sawyer. After Sawyer is called away, who will I have then?

I wince inwardly as the darker voice cackles malevolently, seeming to revel in my confusion, while my wolf stirs and whimpers within me—two opposing forces, one sinister and one loyal. I shove aside the headache brewing in my head, struggling to comprehend how I could be born from such a disparate union of species. Vampires and wolves just didn’t mix, and yet here I was, battling two sides of myself that shouldn’t have been put together in the first place.

I take a deep breath and steel my spine because regardless of the circumstances, I am here now. And while losing Sawyer would be another heartbreak I’m not ready for, I will get through it. I had to. But not without being armed with the knowledge I would need to ensure my success.

“Tell me everything,” I nod, gripping his bicep for strength because I have a feeling that whatever he is going to tell me is going to be an easy story to hear.

* * *

Lying on the fur rug,I watch the embers dying in the fireplace. Fragile, flittering flames dancing among the kindling in a bid to stay alive. Sawyer is pressed against my stomach in feathery form, his words still sinking. His mother was a guardian to mine, and she watched the entire affair with the vampire king. Then how after the forbidden affair, my mother returned to the shifter camp, married the Alpha as expected, and tried to pass the baby off as his. I.e., me.

Sawyer’s secondhand stories spoke of my real parents as if they were a true match. Bonded by the moon. Two intertwining souls that could have stood the test of time if my mother were brave enough. But that’s not how I see it. It takes true bravery to put the needs of your unborn child and species before your own. And that's what’s the worst of it. My mother tried hard to protect me from the Alpha when my first turn went horribly wrong. There was no denying what I was then. A monster. An outcast, sent directly to the exile hut before I killed anyone else.

I shudder as a chill trickles through me. One that has nothing to do with the temperature of the cabin. Both inner beasts are unusually calm like they are when I visit the gravestone—giving me time to mourn and heal, if at all possible. Stroking my fingers through the white fur surrounding me, my inner wolf nudges down, pretending we’re in a pack snuggle. A sad sight for anyone watching the half-breed drowning in her sorrows and spooning a fucking raven all day. There’s no telling what time it is through the shutters, but Jaxon’s snoring has rung through the cabin long enough.

Pushing upright, my stomach groans. I hadn’t felt it before, but now the hunger grips me with an urgent need I can’t fill. Another snore rumbles through the space. Slipping the cushion from beneath Jax’s head, I bash him with it and slink into the kitchen as if nothing happened when he pounces. He was in full animal mode on the discarded cushion, tearing his fangs into the cotton before coming to his senses. I meet his eye briefly, concerned if this is what giving into my vampire side would really mean—hunched over a cushion like a feral cat with anger issues.

Shaking my head, I turn my back and search the kitchen cupboards. There are dishes, so there must be some food around here somewhere. I hope. Yet as I slam the last drawer shut, I sigh in time with another stomach rumble and lean my hands on the breakfast bar.

"So," Jaxon surprises me from the other side of the island. Composed and seated on one of the bar stools, resting his forearms on the marbled surface. I pause, uncomfortable with his full attention, so my eyes roam over his tattoos instead.

The dark ink is a direct contrast to the paleness of his skin, with intricate patterns starting from his wrists and curling all the way up his arms. On his huge left bicep, there’s a Phoenix in hues of orange and red, stretching its wings all the way around the muscle and face stretching upwards. The other upper arm holds the side profile of a beautiful geisha girl, hiding the lower half of her face with a fan, her hair full of delicate flowers in various shades of blue and purple.

"Aspen,” his low tone brings my attention back to this ruggedly handsome face, “tell me about yourself." Piercing blue eyes watch my face shift from confusion to misery when I realize…there’s really nothing to say. Moving around the bar, I take the seat next to him.

“I already told you about my gifts,” I half-shrug. Jax moves slightly so that his thick thigh is pressing against mine, but I shift so the connection is lost. It's been a long time since I've had any physical contact, and I’m not sure it's something I'm overly comfortable with anymore.

"I didn't ask about your gifts. I'm asking about you.” I steal a glance in his direction and instantly wish I hadn't. A prominent vein runs along his throat, from his jaw to the edge of his t-shirt. My stomach tightens.

I’ve tasted blood before, but not like his. He could easily become an addiction, whether that’s how it usually is with a vampire or if Jax’s intoxicating taste is all his own. I shouldn’t allow myself to return to a frenzied state of hunger again, but with so few options, I’m starting to wonder if I really should have attacked him in his sleep. Sunk my teeth into his neck and drank until my inner beast was sated. The very thought has my mouth salivating, and not only my stomach is clenching now. Pressing my thighs together, I lick and nibble on my lower lip. None of which goes unnoticed.

“Um,” Jax clears his throat, growing flustered himself. “Let me try a different angle. How about your childhood?”

“Hard pass,” I groan. Talk about a bucket of ice water to my libido. Sliding off the stool, I pace back around to the kitchen. There must be something to eat around here. Wood shavings, maybe some dust. All sound like a safer alternative at this point.

"Aspen?" Jax's frown deepens when he sees my reaction to hearing him say my name. My face contorts with anguish, and a small whine slips out from the wolf within me. "I didn't mean to upset you—" he starts to say but is interrupted.

“There’s no use dancing around her feelings,” Torsten mutters, appearing to take the stool I recently occupied. “Aspen here doesn’t care for pleasantries, so you might as well come out and say it.” A second pair of tattooed, muscled forearms lean on the bar. One, I’m not so eager to explore while Torsten’s pewter gray eyes glare at me. “What were you doing so close to the borderline, attempting to eat one of your own? And what’s with the tiny shack? We could scent you all over it. Hardly the residence for the future ruler of your pack.”

My nostrils flare, words failing me. Sawyer hops onto the fireplace, twitching his birdy head as he watches on from afar. Gauging my defeated reaction. Torsten would have been right about me ruling had the fact I’m not Conall’s kin revoked the future I’d been primed for. To marry the next chosen Alpha and rule alongside him. As my mother did.

“I turned thirteen on a full moon,” I sigh, squeezing my nails into my palms. “Supposed to bring great fortune, there was a huge ceremony at sundown. Except I didn’t only shift into a wolf, but some kind of monster. I don’t remember much of that night, only the blood when I came to. I was exiled to the hut that night for the pack's safety. The rule of my banishment was to suppress my vampire side, but it just…hurt too bad. Caused me to lash out, so Conall decided to provide me with a human a month to hunt and feed on. A convict, rapist, or the like. It did the job of leveling me out.”

“You must have deduced what the other half of you was. Why didn’t you come to find us?” Torsten scoffs, his whole demeanor taut with irritation. Any form of chivalry he may have shown last night is long gone. Whether that is for the best or not remains to be seen.

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