Page 40 of A Twist of Poison

White fresh snow made an overdue appearance for winter, blanketing the whole area as the snowflakes fell rapidly in large sheets, settling thickly. It covered the grounds by a few inches. It was peaceful. No matter where you were, when it snowed, the outside world seemed to quieten, like it was listening and waiting. Everything stopped momentarily, the atmosphere taking a deep breath before the tranquillity was ruined once again by humans.

Because as human beings that was exactly what we did. We destroyed the things we touched, especially nature, making the world a more difficult place to live in. You only had to look at the news to confirm the state of the environment. It really made me hate humanity at times, seeing the destruction we knowingly caused.

My breaths clouded the window where I’d been standing close to the glass, overlooking the settling snow from my living area. It was a breath-taking sight.

Taking my finger and drawing an unhappy face with the wordsdying to livewritten below in the fogged-up window, I smiled sadly before using the arm of my jumper to wipe it off like it was never there. How quickly things could be swiped away and forgotten. My phone pinged with a message.

Him: The other night demonstrated how chained you are to me. Love you, little angel. Don’t divert far from campus today.

If what he did to me is him claiming to love me, I’d hate to be his enemy. I typed out a quick reply;Okay, you too,to appease him.

His behaviour had become stranger lately, more uptight and generally more paranoid. It had me feeling on edge more than usual. I felt like I was seeing more now that I’d moved back here but not quite seeing the complete picture.

His recklessness and erratic behaviour when he returned, from wherever it was men like him go to abuse women, left me with a new interest and a ton of mysteries to solve. He’d been too focussed on what had been occurring to recognise he’d given me a bit of the puzzle.

Before, I never questioned in depth if what he did to me was bigger than just us, if it was just me, if he had reasons to do what he did. I mean, of course I thought about it, but not to this extent.

Within the first few months of his abuse, I examined every detail… was it my fault? Was I the one to bring this on myself? Did I give some kind of signal that this was what I wanted? I ran through so many scenarios that it overwhelmed me, before asking myself if it was business with our parents gone wrong, maybe something within the legacy? Anything.

I desperately needed an answer, a sign. Because without that to hold on to, without a solid reason I knew I would be facing the fact that one of my best friends from childhood decided to take it upon himself to sexually abuse me, often. With the added physical abuse to top it off and a good mind fuck thrown in too for good measure.

At times I saw a better side of him, compassionate, caring and worried about me, but I had to remind myself that it was only a minor part of him. The other half of him being my abuser was my worst waking nightmare. Two personalities at different ends of the spectrum hidden within one being.

It took me a while to grasp that he wasn’t the boy I once knew. He’d changed, or maybe that’s who he’d always been all along, just repressed into what he needed to present to society. What made me wonder was what prompted him to come to me, to choose me. None of my speculations over the years made much sense. In his own warped way, I knew he loved me. It wasn’t enough reasoning though; it would never be.

The coldness outside seemed to have settled into my bones, even though the room was toasty warm inside. Reality had been hitting me straight in the face and it was time that I did something about it. His levelled-up paranoia… therewerereasons. This must be bigger than just him. That must be it. Living so far away from him for a few years, I could never form any sort of conclusion. Now I was here, I had the opportunity to get my answers.Fuck yes. I needed to do this for myself—never being able to dream of a moment where what happened to me came to an end was soul destroying. But… if I found something incriminating, something to hold weight over his head, allowing me to sever the chains linking us, I could befree.

True and utter freedom on my own terms. The sheer thought of being able to just be me was overwhelming. The tightening in my chest was anxiety choosing to make itself known, and I mentally forced it to loosen.I know I can do this. This was the beginning of the end.

My movements were more sluggish than usual from the way my body was used and the further beating I received the other night. It took my mind a few moments to catch up with the pain my brain knew was present. I clutched my stomach, crying out loudly in pain while forcing myself to hold still for a moment as a wash of dizziness threatened to pull me under again.

I’d been in and out of consciousness for the last few days, which had left my body weak and sleepy. I refused to lose any more time while healing. Breathing heavily through my nose, I took some calming breaths to centre myself, blinking away the blurry spots swimming in my vision which distracted me from the task I’d set myself. Now was not the time for a pity party.I’ll investigate what I can, then come back and sleep the pain off. Decision made.

I shuffled to the closet in my bedroom slowly, pulling out snow appropriate clothing that wouldn’t soak me to the bone. Pulling off the loose tracksuit bottoms and t-shirt that I’d been covering myself up in, I scrunched up my face in agony from the motion but refused to let any noise pass my lips.

* * *

To turn up unannounced to this penthouse was probably a dumb move seeing as I didn’t know what was waiting for me, but he’d provided me with the codes and key to let myself in, so if he didn’t want me to turn up whenever surely, he wouldn’t have provided me full access.

That’s the logical way of thinking, but he wasn’t exactly always a man of logic. Oh well.Too late now.

I pushed through the unlocked door, pocketing the keys and letting it click closed behind me as I ventured farther into the room to look for something, anything. A thread I could tug at, leading me in a direction to uncover whatever it was that he was involved in.

The lavishness of the apartment was more apparent in the light of day, the sun reflecting off every surface with not a speck of dust in sight. A maid or someone similar also had unrestricted access here then.Interesting.

My boots squeaked with every step I took from the foyer further inside. I unzipped them, kicking them off to the side, not wanting to make it obvious that someone had been here without express permission. And leaving the wet footprints of them on show, would make him realise that connection way too quickly.

Grabbing a towel, I wiped up any excess water and threw it in the laundry basket as I carried on moving from room to room, pulling out drawers, looking in closets, even lifting the sides of the mattress to see if anything was under there. Nothing.

I huffed wearily, the aches and soreness in my body making it known I’d pushed myself too far, too soon. Agitated that nothing had thrown itself in my direction, I put everything back the way it was. I bent over, wincing in pain and taking a moment to breathe shallowly.In and out. Deep breathing caused too much discomfort, so I took small shallow breaths instead. I zipped my boots sluggishly, a simple task taking minutes instead of mere seconds.

If I wasn’t in so much discomfort, I’d thoroughly enjoy smashing expensive items in this apartment for the pure enjoyment of it, channelling this rage into something physical.

As I went to leave, I noticed something on the cabinet in the foyer. It was a white business card with an intricate red design-like lines woven through each other similar to a tribal pattern and the wordThe Pavilionboldly written above, nothing else.The exact same design as the embellishment on the handcuffs.

I flipped it around. No contact details or address. And I just knew somehow that I was onto something with this. I had a name. It wasn’t much but a step in the right direction that I desperately needed.

I ordered an Uber and lowered myself gently in the car, holding onto its sides while being jolted to and fro during the twenty-minute journey back to campus. Thanking the man as I gingerly exited, I made my way back upstairs and nearly collapsed onto the couch. I managed to brace my hands at the last minute, lowering myself lightly so as not to aggravate my injuries.

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