Page 69 of A Twist of Poison

I knew what he’d see, a girl who blended in, and no one recognised. I wasn’t stupid enough to wear anything with a designer label and it get ripped from my skin. I’d already had non designer clothing in my closet anyways, because I loved clothing and looking good. It didn’t matter to me if it had a label, if it cost five dollars or one hundred. If I liked it, it was as simple as I wanted it. I never understood those people, girls especially, who were obsessed with labelled brands and would never be seen out without, whether it be clothing, accessories or footwear. More expensive didn’t mean better, just as being rich didn’t mean you had everything you wanted in life.

“I’ve come to dabble on this side, for the night…” I tilted my head, my curled hair flowing to the side.

“Damn girl, you’re asking for trouble crossing that invisible line.” It wasn’t news that both sides had a bit of an issue with the other, it was ridiculously stupid in my opinion.

“Trust me, we may be richer in Upper, but we play dirtier.” I lifted my eyebrow, daring him to say anything else on the fact that my bank balance annihilated his. I wasn’t judging him, but he was me. “I’ve got cash, and I need you to sort me out.” I pulled out a wad of dollars, a hell of a lot more than what I’d bet he usually charged, that had his eyes bulging. I shoved the money into his chest, making my point as clear as I could. “Now.”

“Alright alright, crazy girl.” He shook his head, shoving what I’d given him away from sight and producing a few pouches of pills, more than I wanted, pushing them into the palm of my hand before making himself scarce. Fair enough. I pocketed them and made my way through the house to find a drink.

I’d gulped down some premium vodka earlier to take that edge off. It’d been left by Adam, for himself in my dorm and I figured he owed me a hell of a lot, so I’d started to collect. Firstly, his vodka. Secondly, no fucking idea. It was the thought that mattered.

I popped the top off and started downing the beer. It wasn’t my preference in the slightest, but I was far away from caring. Opening the small pouch, I took out four of the small purple pills and swallowed them down with another gulp of beer.

Acting recklessly, the need for rebellion thrummed like little soldiers in my veins gearing for war. I marched right in…

Music pounded all around me, my body gyrated along with the deep bass spinning me into a place where not a single thing mattered. A sturdy body pulled mine towards their front. I continued moving my whole body to the beat, grinding up against him as I felt his cock hardening in reaction to my movements.

I fell deeper into freedom. I didn’t care who was behind me, in front, or around me, I didn’t even care how far gone I was. I wanted to feelnothing. Zero, zilch.

I popped a handful more pills, washing them down with the new beer I’d acquired, offering one to the person behind me. His head lowered over my shoulder and held out his tongue as I fed it to him. His tongue curled round the pill before licking his lips. I gazed at them, then up into his eyes—mesmerising, sky-blue eyes.

I twirled around so my body was flush against his. DJ Turn It Up by Yellow Claw blared from the speakers as most people joined us on the makeshift dance floor, grinding up against others. Nothing mattered except the beat. I moved my body, his movements matched mine as we ground up against one another in perfect flow.

My body felt loose from the pills and the sweat rolled down my spine. The songs changed one after the other, but he stayed and matched every action as if our bodies had done this song and dance a thousand times before.

I was spiralling into delirium, and I welcomed it with wide opened arms and the biggestfuck yessmile on my face. It was way too late to save my soul from the damage that’d been cast upon it. This world was such an evil place.

Hold me under. Just. Let. Me. Drown.

Maybe I was just better off dead. I couldn’t fight the demons inside of me, festering on my soul and finding it contaminated. My body felt weightless and lifeless, defeat curled round each corner of my mind begging me to give in, to accept my place in life—at rock bottom with collapsed foundations and no option to rebuild.

He’d stripped it away… all of it. He took away my self-worth, layer by painful layer, until he’d ripped one of the final pieces. The piece that was mine, completely and utterly mine. The secret of who he really was, the deep-rooted shame of what he’d done to me. Yet he was clever, so very clever. It was genius, really. He’d tangled the truth with his well-spoken lies and laid the ultimate deception at the feet of the men who I knew, with every part of me, I was in love with.

Three men who would never trust me again or see me in any other light than his whore. His plaything. And the ultimate weapon to destroy a part of each of them in turn. Because Adam took his orders seriously and carried them out with brutal efficiency but the extra mile, that was all on him.

He was the devil incarnate. Regardless of his deadly fascination towards me, I was never meant to be his. Not that it made a difference. It wasn’t all just business to him; it was deeply personal too. Why? Because his obsession centred around me. They were his friends, supposedly. Clearly not from the glint in his eye at seeing their reality set in, one by one and watching the hurt spread across their faces. He had taken a sick sense of enjoyment and pride in that.

I used to see flashes of the light, of another life with the endless possibilities and genuine peace of mind. It was a fool’s hopeless pipe dream, and I’d fed into it for far too long.

We were all fighting the inevitable. Death. Each day that passed was another day we’d defy its call, some of us were closer than others. Many prayed for death to take them, many wanted it to pass them up, to offer them an immortality they could never claim.

Purgatory couldn’t cleanse my soul of the stains that tainted it, that clung to it, the purity that would never resurface ever again. My soul was lost. It had been cast into eternal damnation.

Dissociation was my coping mechanism for my trauma. I floated away into the darkness where nothing could hurt me, where no feelings could breach my state of mind. It was peaceful, and it had become more home to me than anything else ever had. That should have scared me, but it didn’t. I would protect that tiny bit of peace at whatever cost. There was nothing but a hollowed void that lived within me now.

I let you down. I’m sorry… Maybe in the next life.

Nothing and everything had changed, but everything came to an end.

To continue being his little angel, his plaything… I’d rather be dead.

Finally, I’m free.

Chapter30

Preston

Being knee deep in working our current big case—gathering more intel as the days passed by—distracted me from the fact that I wanted to find Adam and grip my hands tightly around his throat. Then follow it up with breaking his pretty boy nose. I believed I was in a bad mood, but it’d been a few weeks, so I guessed this was part of who I was now.

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