Page 46 of Fae Unashamed

We had to move before Beryl struck. Every time I let my guard down so that I could enjoy a moment, she launched an assault that changed the game. She wouldn’t let me rest. There was no time for me to recharge my arcana while she lurked in the shadows.

I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. Rhoan rubbed my shoulders.

“We cannot fight like this. It would be the death of us. Ineedyou to rest or else this fight will take you from me, and I know that there would be no future for me without you.” He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

It didn’t feel right. I’d been holding onto urgency, guilt, and defiance for so long that I didn’t know what to do with any of them now that I’d stopped. All I wanted this whole time was a moment to stop, a moment with Rhoan, and a glimpse into the future I could have.

Now that I was there, I found myself frustratingly restless.

Didn’t I deserve this? Wasn’t it earned? I’d saved Janessa and my mom. I’d obtained the nightsmane, turned it into a potion, and freed Rhoan from the contract that bound him to Faust. Together, we’d defeated Faust, too. Then I went back and put the Seelie castle back together.

I deserved a single night’s rest.

So, I settled into Rhoan’s chest and let him feed me chocolate dipped strawberries while we watched re-runs of old cooking competitions. I complained about the mistakes the competitors made even though I’d already seen these episodes already. To be fair, this was all we could get on the tv while in a fae realm—we didn’t have a connection to any broadcasting system outside of the realm, so the realm was probably working on what it could scavenge from my past fate threads.

12

CERRI

“How does it feel to be in the role of a queen now?” Beryl asked.

Darkness cleared. I sucked in a sharp breath and found myself at a small, round table with Beryl. She leaned back and the patio behind her restaurant came into focus. We sat under the light of the full moon as it glinted off the nearby lake. Between us was a black teapot and two black teacups on saucers.

Beryl reached and poured me a drink. Somewhere in the distance, a familiar howl pierced the air. Alvin’s hungry cry grew closer until I could almost feel his breath on the back of my neck.

“You have nightmare powers, too,” I said.

She grinned demurely as she handed me a cup of tea. I accepted it because it wasn’t like she could poison me in a dream. While I’d thought I would have the advantage in a dream, it seemed that we were on equal grounds here.

“The fae have always been dream weavers,” Beryl explained. “Some have a gift for dreams while others found their calling in nightmares. Who do you think trained Faust? He was a being that fed upon fear—I just showed him where to find the best source.”

I sat back in my chair and wrinkled my nose. The urge to cross my arms over my chest like a petulant child nearly overcame me, but I kept my hands at the rim of the teacup instead.

“If I’m going to be honest, I’m quite tired.” I lifted the teacup to my lips. “I would appreciate it if you could allot me a single night’s rest, from one queen to another.”

I knew she wouldn’t, but I wasn’t going to beg here. I wasn’t going to fear her because that’s what she wanted. Fear was reserved for things like failure now. Not even Alvin’s howl could shake me.

That bastard was very much dead.

“Aw, you know I can’t do that,” Beryl crooned.

Of course. This was about what I expected, but it didn’t hurt to ask.

“Why have you entered my dreams?” I asked.

While I had no idea what I was doing, I was still very much aware that this was my dream. If that was the case, then I was in control. The sky refused to give way to sunshine, but that didn’t surprise me since my arcana had become a night garden. So, I brought those flowers out and let them climb up the exterior of the restaurant beside us. Vines climbed across the patio and up the table.

The clouds overhead cleared, and stars twinkled into existence. Instead of Alvin’s howl, I imagined Ness’s. A distant crack of thunder echoed even though the skies were clear. Since I was thinking of my friends, I conjured blue fire-light lamps and a plethora of glowing vigil candles.

I wanted Beryl to know that I was not alone.

If she was at all shaken, she didn’t show it. She lifted her chin as she took in the changes with impressed approval.

“You always were a quick learner,” Beryl said. “Do you remember any of the things I taught you?”

Shocked, I sat back. It never once occurred to me that I would have locked memories of Beryl trapped in the recesses of my mind. But at the mention of it, creaky doors opened to reveal things I’d forgotten.

Beryl had been the one to show me the hidden door in my parents’ room. She’d brought me up to the original Cerridwen’s laboratory and told me the tales of the old fae gods. It’d been Beryl who taught me the names of poisonous plants. She carried me through a night garden similar to the one I’d conjured tonight and pointed out the hidden carnivorous plants.

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