Page 20 of Fae Unashamed

We waltzed close to the window. There, I could see my reflection. My eyes swam with a dark rainbow of color around the slitted pupils. Small black feathers lined my jaw and dotted my hair. My hands were more beast than human with ink-stained fingers that ended in dangerous claws.

Why hadn’t I noticed them before when I first touched Cerri? It should have been obvious then. But she’d called it an illusion for a reason. We weren’t in the waking world. This was yet another dream conjured by my beast to keep my mind sane.

I sighed and ducked my head so that I could press my forehead to Cerri’s. “Are you real? Or are you another part of this dream? I wouldn’t blame myself for dreaming of you as often as I do. It’s a lovely dream every time.”

Cerri pressed her face to my chest and ran her hands up so she could wrap them around the back of my neck. “I’m real. I’m here.”

The confession shook the air form my lungs, but it also left me with a sinking dread. I gently pried her arms from around my neck and pushed her back so that there was a sliver of space between us. There, I could take her in. It would be my last chance because of what I had to say.

The moment dragged on. Her eyes filled with tears. She turned her hands upward so that I could put my palms over hers. I had to tell her. We couldn’t stand like this forever. Eventually, we would run out of time.

“You can’t keep coming back here,” I warned her.

She flinched like I’d slapped her. It broke my heart, but I had to do it. I could bear another crack in it so long as it meant that Cerri could move on with her life.

“Listen to me, I want you to forge forward. You have so much ahead of you. If you stay here and pine for what we can’t have, then you’re never going to know true happiness. This won’t work the way it is.”

My heartshattered.

It would have been kind to say that another crack ran through it, but the idea of Cerri living her whole life without me tore what was left of my emotional stability to shreds. I gripped her hands tighter than I meant to if only to hold her for a moment longer because I knew this would be my last time seeing her.

She shook her head. “That’s not why I’m here tonight.”

The statement caught me off guard. For a second, a stinging pain lanced through my chest. I’d assumed that she couldn’t live without me, but…I’d been wrong apparently.

Then her grip on me tightened. She yanked me close. “Someone took you. I don’t know where you are. If you can tell me where they’re keeping you, then I’ll be able to get you back so we can work on turning you into Rhoan again.”

That was when the beast returned. It growled and rumbled the entire dream, reminding me that it was so much larger than me right now. I was trapped deep down inside the beast’s being while it navigated the world.

“Well?” I asked the creature. “Show me a glimpse of what’s going on out there so I can help us all.”

The ceiling split open. A jagged crack ran across it and rained dust down upon our heads. I waited for a scene to appear in the dark void, but it remained unknowable. Voices drifted down, but I couldn’t understand their words or place who it could be.

This wouldn’t be enough. Cerri worried for my safety so much that she’d come to my dreams for help. I couldn’t let this stay on her mind for too long. She deserved comfort and peace, and my presence wasn’t bringing any of that for her.

Snarling, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the voices. No matter how I pushed into that reality, an invisible barrier kept me trapped here in the dream. It wasn’t my beast. I could feel my beast trying to rip a hole through the wall. Its claws could barely pierce it.

Was this how Cerridwen’s memories felt? Was everything good in her early years trapped behind this kind of barrier? I felt a moment of sympathy for her before I shoved forward with my mind.

All the while, Cerri held onto me. Though a part of my mind was in the abyss above, fighting against the barrier that kept me here, another part of me was withher. I could feel her untamed magic coursing through my body. It was the potential for all things, living, dead, unimagined. It was a power unlike any other.

I welcomed it into my body where it made a home out of my shattered heart. It was like having an old woman move in and take over, hastily cleaning up all the messes that I’d left behind. She chided me for being so negligent with my own emotions and told me to get on with my business.

For a moment, it was as if the original Cerridwen of the Cauldron graced my presence. She gave us the power to overcome this. With her on our side, we could do anything. So long as Cerri and I were together.

I shoved through the barrier, but only barely. It was just enough so that I caught a glimpse through my beast’s eyes. Before me stood an agonizingly familiar face:Faust. The man bemoaned my existence and my rebellion. While he went on a villainous monologue, my beast tested the chains around my ankles. They refused to give no matter how the beast thrashed.

I stole a heartbeat to study our surroundings. It was oddly familiar. I’d been here before. Standing stones encircled us. Trees bordered the stones and blocked all view past them. This was where I’d faced Faust last, right before I’d escaped to save Cerridwen.

When the barrier shoved me back into the dream, I sighed and scowled.

“Again?” Cerri asked as if she could already tell where this was going.

I bowed my head. How had the beast gotten itself into such a situation? If I could have reached it, I would have chided it for being fooled. That was the only explanation I could think of. The beast must have gone to save Cerridwen only to find itself in a trap.

“I am such a fool,” I groaned. “I’m starting to believe I’m not fit to stand by your side.”

Cerri damn near shook me. Startled, I blinked. Cerri glared up at me with a fire in her eyes, but I touched her wrist as reality set in. I could not stand beside her—not anymore.

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