Page 60 of Protected By The Green Berets

The tension was so thick in the room you could practically feel it slinking around, waiting to coil around you like a snake.

I’m a professional. I’m a professional. I’m a fucking professional!

The silence dragged on as Keller studied me and I fought not to lunge over the table and strangle him. It seemed like every time I started to find my footing he did something that shook me and made me feel like the outsider in their group. If we didn’t sort this out soon, how could I possibly have a future with them?

The events from last night were a distant memory at this point because it seemed like he was doing everything he could to keep distance between us. Instead of pulling away like before, he was pushing me into being distant.

“This mission is dangerous,” he finally said. No one else spoke. “Unchecked emotions can get you killed.”

I narrowed my eyes on him. “Who said anything about emotions?” Okay, fine, they were pouring off me like water off a seal’s back, but I thought I’d been doing a good job of concealing them. The amused looks on all their faces told me that wasn’t the case.

“You look like you want to kill him right now,” Alden told me, confirming my suspicion.

“Because I thought we’d already covered this. I’m a part of this team. I go where you go.”

“You’re more important than just a teammate,” Keller countered. “You belong to us. It’s our job to keep you safe. Until you get yourself under control, you’re staying here.”

I took a deep breath trying to steady myself. Deep down, I knew he was right. But hearing him say it out loud, and like that? Everything was just compounding and I couldn’t seem to let it go. I was in love with these men. It’d hit me this morning, but there’d been no time to examine my feelings because Rush had come at me with the birth control thing. This would be so much easier if I could just hate them. How could I, though, when even now they were risking my wrath and contempt just to keep me safe?

I wasn’t against having kids. If I was being honest with myself, I wanted that very much. I wanted all of these men to be mine and for me to be theirs in turn. I just wanted some say in everything. They were very… pushy. It’d be easy for them to join forces and bulldoze me into everything they wanted to do.

If I allowed that to happen then I’d never have an equal say in our lives. That was unacceptable to me. However, now wasn’t the time to discuss all that. I was too pissed off and Keller’s mind was made up.

“You’ll stay here,” he continued on. “Inside the house. Donotleave for any reason.”

“One of us should stay with her,” Alden suggested.

“No,” I told them. “You’re riding up to Roj’s compound. You can’t afford to be a man short.”

“We already are,” Rush pointed out.

Something in my chest eased when they all nodded in agreement. That confirmed it. It wasn’t that they didn’t want me along. They were just trying to protect me.

“No one knows we’re here,” Torque said. “If you stay inside, you should be safe.”

“I won’t go anywhere,” I swore to them, the only concession I was willing to make. “I’ll see if I can get a satellite link and get some work done while you’re gone.” I calmed down and was able to think again. My job in this mission wasn’t to fight the bad guys in hand to hand combat, or even get in shootouts with them.

My job was to provide the team with intelligence. The easiest way for me to do that was to actually stay here, near a city, where I could look into Roj and his activities. I could cross reference the Agency's reports with the Army’s and see if any new patterns had emerged. Thinking about work and the current mission was already having a calming effect on me.

Plan set, the others left to go prepare. I pulled my laptop out and got to work. As luck would have it, our mini antenna was able to lock into a satellite with ease. Despite ‘modern technology’, these things could be quite finicky.

Sitting on the floor, back to the wall, with my laptop on my lap I began searching. I started by logging into my agency account and checking on any messages that’d been sent to me regarding Colby. There were only three. Not bad.

With her and her men hidden away in another country the rumors about her were beginning to die down. I hoped that by the time we bagged Roj and got home they’d be nothing but distant memories. It would make my job a lot easier. Making her disappear for good was something I could do, but there were always complications that tended to pop up. As long as I could mitigate those, she’d be safe.

I spent the next few hours erasing any traces I could find of Colby Harris. I hadn’t expected to get this kind of time with a working signal on this mission, but now that I was, it was going to give me a big head start once I got home.

I didn’t bother with reports. I’d file all those once we were back in the U.S. I didn’t want my superiors, or the guys’, getting used to regular updates of any kind.

“Hey.”

Looking up from my screen, I saw Rush squatting there. I’d completely tuned them out as they prepped their weapons, ammo, and gear for tonight. My eyes strayed to the tiny window over the sink. The sun was setting. It was almost time for them to go.

I frowned when I realized Alden and Keller were gone. Before I could ask, Rush reached out and brushed a thumb over my cheek.

“We okay?”

My lips pursed together. I wanted to tell him yes. Especially considering they were going into a possibly dangerous situation. But I also didn’t want him to think that he could steamroll me anytime our ideas conflicted. “We all need to talk more, but not tonight,” I told him. He watched me with steady eyes, not blinking. “We will be,” I said, finally answering his original question.

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