Page 43 of Silverstorm

“I don’t know how I can ever thank you.” Aria tilted her chin to look up into his eyes. His gorgeous eyes, scattered with tiny flecks of gold. Something stirred in her chest at the sight of him. Something wholesome and yearning and a little scary. She couldn’t stop staring, trying to etch his features into her mind forever. The straight line of his nose, the small cleft in his chin, those firm, full lips—such kissable lips—high cheekbones, and dark, arched brows, one of which was cocked in her direction, observing her speculatively.

They watched each other for many long seconds.

Finally, he kissed her.

Slow and gentle, at first, as if she was made of spun glass. This kiss was quiet and unhurried, full of so many unspoken sentiments. She returned his generous tenderness, kiss for kiss. Each time their lips met, he seemed to claim a part of her soul.

He was the first to break away. “I almost lost you today, Aria. Do you know how that made me feel?”

Her heart skipped a beat at the intensity in his voice.

Before she could answer, he went on, “Honestly, the sense of despair was so great it nearly crushed me.” He stroked a finger softly down her cheek. “I know we’ve barely had any time together. But the thought of losing you without telling you how I feel was soul destroying.” He stopped, and she sucked in a breath. What was he going to say? “The logical side of me knows I can’t possibly be in love, it’s too soon, it’s too early, the relationship is too new.”

His words were an echo of her own thoughts, her own explanations. Love didn’t happen this quick. It was too much. Five days. That was how long they’d known each other. They’d been five very intense days, so much had happened. But how could something that was built on adrenaline and peril be real? Jude had been there for her because she needed someone. Because she’d been in trouble, and he was the only person who could help. Maybe they had formed an attachment on the way, but it wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last.

“That logical voice is very loud,” he admitted. “But my heart is telling me a different story. All I know is that I care deeply for you, Aria.”

She stilled, then lifted her head to look directly in his eyes. What was he saying?

“I think I might be falling in love with you.”

Aria hesitated, biting her lip hard to stop her gasp of surprise. Because she was falling hard for this man, too. This brave, strong, and true man. But she couldn’t return his sentiments. Not yet. On account that there was an elephant in the room—or should she say, little problem—that was the crux of everything. That meant everything to her. Perhaps even more than the possibility of love with this man, and she dare not explore her feelings for him until she knew where he stood on that matter.

As if he could read her mind, he said, “And if loving you means loving your baby, then so be it. I don’t want to lose you. I want to be with you. I want to be part of this baby’s life, too. Together, we could raise a happy and healthy child. But only if you’ll have me.” Uncertainty flared in his eyes. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to me in your baby’s life. You haven’t even mentioned the father…and I don’t know what your intentions are with him. But I’d like to be your fallback guy, if you need one.”

Hope flared in her heart. He was offering her a lifeline. Much more than a lifeline, a life. He was offering himself body, and soul. Stuff like this didn’t happen to her. She always lurched through life from one calamity to the next, reacting, never really making conscious decisions. Was she finally going to make the right decision? For her and for her baby?

It was the thought of her baby that gave her pause. She wanted to give her child the best possible start to life, give them the opposite of her own childhood. And there was no doubt Jude could help her achieve that. He was a kind, generous, giving man, with a heart the size of Africa. But at what cost to himself? Even though he said he was prepared to take on another man’s baby, did he really understand what would be involved? Aria needed time. She needed some space to think about this. And perhaps, he did, too.

The next few weeks would be full of sadness and a grief. She had two funerals to organize, and she had to come to terms with the enormity of everything that’d happened to her. Now wasn’t the time to be making a lifelong commitment, not even to a wonderful man who meant the world to her.

“I think I might be falling for you, too,” she admitted, biting her bottom lip as she watched his eyes light up. “And you can’t know how much your offer means to me. I am truly grateful, and I think you would make a great father.” She held up her hand and rushed on before he got his hopes up too high. She saw it in his face then, the growing understanding that there was a but coming. She hated this. Her heart was screaming at her to say yes to this man. To accept what he was giving. But her mind was urging caution, and for the sake of her baby, she was going to listen to that voice today.

“But I don’t know what the future holds. I know now that I want to stay here in Stevensville, and I want to build a life here. But so much has happened in the past week. I need time to think about what that life is going to look like. I hope you understand.” Stupidly, her eyes filled with tears again. She couldn’t believe she was saying this. It was something her former self would never have dreamed of doing, taking it slow, thinking before she jumped in feet first. Perhaps she was finally growing up.

“I can live with that,” he said at last, and she could see the effort it took for him to school his features into equanimity. “Let’s just take it day by day, for now.” He was so respectful of her, even when she couldn’t give him the answers he needed. Answers that he deserved. “You can stay in the cottage for as long as you need, I want you to know that,” he added.

“Thank you, Jude. You’re a good man,” she said, her throat choking with emotion. “And I do want you in my life. I do… it’s just that…”

“You don’t need to explain,” he said, pulling her in close.

They stayed like that for many minutes, and Aria accepted the warmth and reassurance he offered, drawing on his strength to bolster her own. She snuggled in close, her hand sliding inside the zipper of his jacket, finding the warm skin above his collarbone, tracing the muscular cords of his neck, drawing in the smell of him, fresh, and piney, and the slightly damp wool of his black knit hat. Aria looked up.

“Where did you get that hat from?” she asked, suddenly realizing what the logo meant. It had the word Mickey scrawled across the front in white. It was a Disney hat. Jude didn’t strike her as the type of man to wear a Disney hat.

“I stole it from lost and found at the police station.” His deep voice rumbled through the cabin, the sound reverberating in her chest. “It was all they had.”

He looked down at her, and she lifted her face to his and kissed him, long and deep and slow.

When she finally came up for air, he asked her, “Are you feeling up to walking back to my truck? I need to call this in, and there’s no reception up here. We’ll need to drive back to the highway.”

“Yes, of course,” Aria agreed, squaring her shoulders. It was time to face the rest of the day, she may as well get it over with.

“I’m going to call Hank and Susan to come and secure the site. Brady won’t like it, but I don’t know who to trust at the Missoula station right now.” Jude glowered at the thought of how Aria had been betrayed so easily, and she agreed with his decision. “We’ll need to get a search party going to try and track down Gaudin, too. But I’ll let Hank handle that.”

They emerged from the vehicle blinking and dazed, like they were survivors of war emerging from a bunker. The world was a white winter wonderland, but with menacing overtones; dangerous as well as beautiful. The cold was shocking and bone chilling, and she walked as quickly as she could on the slippery ice while wrapped in swathes of blankets, holding Jude’s hand for support. Absolutely everything was covered in ice. She’d never seen anything like it before in her life. Ice storms were a rare occurrence. Jude had wanted to give her his warm jacket, but she wouldn’t hear of it. It would do neither of them any good if he froze out there; she was relying on him to get her safely back down the mountain.

“I can see why locals call it a silver storm,” she said. “It’s like everything has been draped in silver tinsel. Like Jack Frost has waved his magic wand, but only on steroids.”

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