Page 75 of Paid In Full

I picked up the cup of tea Kate had left behind. Taking a long sip, I gave into the soothing drink before I bit my bottom lip. Telling them everything was a lot, but I had to if I wanted some advice. Ash was unlike anyone that I had ever met. I didn’t want to lose that big-eyed, innocent little puppy. Not if I could help it. I’d already corrupted him, I didn’t want him gone. Even if I had just threatened to kill him.

I would never. Unless he left me. That’s not unreasonable, right?

As I clutched the drink in my hands, I told them everything. From the moment we met to our current situation. Of course, I left some things out; they didn’t need to know everything. Like the way I shoved my ass at Ash to plow. That was a little... unnerving. Not that my brothers didn’t know I was all over the map. People like us? Rumors swirled around us. But letting them know that Ash was a part of that, his exact role, made me want to punch someone in the face. What we did was no one’s goddamn business.

Tex whistled. “Shit. You love him.”

I stared at him. “What? No,” I hissed. “I just don’t want him to freak out!”

Tex and Enzo shared a look. Whatever silent conversation they had made me want to smack them both upside the head. They turned their focus on me once more, and I finally put out my joint. At least the nicotine and pot had done their job; I was more serene than I’d been in a long ass time.

“Here you go, honey,” Kate said as she set a big sandwich in front of me. “Eat, eat. You need to settle your stomach.”

I grabbed her hand. “Will you be my mommy?”

The woman burst out laughing, but she laid her hand on top of mine. “Any family of Enzo is family of mine.” She brushed her hand against my cheek. “Eat! You won’t find any answers on an empty stomach. I’m going to go clean up.”

Reluctantly, I let her hand go while staring after her. For the first time in so long, I ached for my own mother. She would have been the same, holding my hand, making me something to eat, and kissing my forehead to comfort me. It had been years without her, and I was a mess from the moment she was lowered into the ground. Glancing down at the cup of tea, I tried to shove those emotions down.

“It’s okay,” Enzo said. He was up, moving Tex to the chair before he stepped over to me. He sat beside me before his hand laid on my back. “I know you miss her.”

Emotions stuck in my chest while I choked on my words. Our father was the biggest whore on the planet. Three women, four sons, and three half-brothers left in his wake. Somehow, we got along. We formed deep bonds. Nothing and no one could tear us apart. They’d tried, yet we were still going strong. I glanced at Enzo. He was like me, tossed out into the world, both of our mothers long dead. The only one who still had a breathing mother was Benito, and he didn’t even talk to her until she came back around needing something from him.

I sucked down a deep breath. “Thanks, Enzo,” I muttered, feeling sheepish for my display of emotions. “I shouldn’t have bothered you all.”

Enzo shrugged. “Yeah, you should have. I always tell you that if you need someone to listen to your shit, I’m here, brother.” He clapped a hand on my back. “I love you.”

I stared at the sincerity in his eyes. “I love you too.” My shoulders slumped. “I still don’t know what to do about Ash. He’s not built for this life. What if he’s just like Sarah-Lynn?”

“Who’s Sarah-Lynn?” Tex asked.

“That’s his ex-girlfriend,” Enzo pointed out. “She left a while ago because she couldn’t handle... what we are.”

What we are.I wanted to laugh. We were monsters. Of course, she couldn’t stomach that for more than a short time. Ash was no different. His father was a son of a bitch, but I doubted he had ever received a call where the man was beating someone to death. My shoulders slumped.

I shouldn’t have taken the call.

Every instinct in me had screamed not to, but I couldn’t deny Ash. If I hadn’t picked up, he would have thought I was ignoring him. That was far from the truth. I jumped up from the couch, pacing back and forth as I thought about him.

I need to see him. Even if he doesn’t want to see me, I’ll hold him down and make him see me.

Ash had turned me from a playboy with zero fucks to give to a worrier who was always concerned about his feelings. I groaned.

“When did I turn into this?”

“Congrats, you’re feeling stuff,” Tex said, slapping me on the back. “Go home and tell him you give a damn. I bet he’ll calm down.”

Yeah, I had no idea if I was even capable of that. I had to do something, though. I sucked down every bit of my bullshit and nodded. Go home, talk to Ash, tell him I wanted him around, make him fuck me in the ass so hard he saw stars and trap him. It was the perfect plan.

“Please act like you have common sense,” Enzo said. “Do something nice for him. Maybe take him on a date.” He waved to Tex. “I did that with him, and he settled right down.”

Tex narrowed his eyes at Enzo. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You went on a date with me to settle me down?”

Enzo gave me a weary look. “See what you started? Get out.”

Tex growled. “He didn’t start shit! I swear to God I will kill you.”

I shook my head. “My bad, handle your shit,” I said, laughing as both Tex and Enzo glared at me. “Thanks for everything, Kate! I’m going home!”

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