Page 39 of His Broken Queen

“In and out, Luciana. I want you back here as soon as possible.” He grabbed me by the waist, and engulfed me in a strong hold with his good arm, and lowered his lips to mine. His possessive kiss left me breathless. “Go.” He let go of me, and pointed to the door.

I dropped my gaze to the floor, and left the room without looking into his eyes. I didn’t want to meet the disapproval in them. I had to get through this next hour. It was going to be one of the toughest, most grueling situations of my life, and I had to do it without Romero by my side.

* * *

As we pulledinto the alleyway behind the funeral home, the ache in my stomach turned into a vicious churning. When Joey got out and opened the passenger side door, I froze.

“Lu?” Rocco touched my arm. “Are you ready?”

I shook my head.

“Give us a minute,” Rocco said to Joey.

“Romero said in and out, remember?” Joey glanced at his watch.

“Just wait by the door.” Rocco pointed. “We’ll be right there.”

Joey did what Rocco asked as I tried to settle my stomach with some deep breaths.

“What’s going on, Lu?”

“What if Romero is right? What if I shouldn’t be here?”

“You were pretty certain you should be here when you stood up to your husband and told him you were going. That’s why I stepped in to help you.” He gazed out the front window of the car. “What changed?”

“Now that we’re here, I guess I’m nervous.” I wanted to be brave, and do the right thing. “I really miss her.”

“Then you’re doing the right thing.” He motioned toward the funeral home. “If you don’t go in, you’ll regret it. I can’t say it will be easy to face Stella’s kids, but if you don’t find the closure you’re searching for today, you might not ever. I don’t want that for you.”

“Don’t you get tired of this life?” I asked. “You’re an educated man. You have so many opportunities and privileges.”

“I have those things because of this life.”

“I have Romero because of this life, but it doesn’t mean I don’t hope that one day he finds a way out. He’s smart and knows how to run a business. Look what he’s done with the club. Maybe he’ll realize that’s enough. I’m enough.”

“His love for you has nothing to do with what he chooses to do for a living. He was in this world long before he met you, and to be honest, he’s going to be in it for years to come.” He patted the top of my hand. “You might not want to hear that, but it’s the way it is for men like us. We don’t have the luxury to choose.”

“I can still dream.”

“You shouldn’t give up your dreams.” He winked. “But if you don’t want Romero to send an army of guards after you, we have to go inside now.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll be with you the whole time.” He slid out of the car, buttoned his suit jacket, and then extended his hand for me. “You got this.”

I stepped out of the SUV and hooked my arm in his. He had always been my intimating, older cousin. He looked out for me when he could, but his loyalty was with his family. Maybe now that he wasn’t who he thought he was, he could be the man he was supposed to be.

Joey’s face relaxed when I approached the back door. I was sure my momentary delay caused him plenty of stress. No one wanted to tell my husband they didn’t follow his instructions to the letter.

“I’m ready now.” I looked at Joey.

Sam and Jag nodded at me as I entered the funeral home. Even from the back room, the place reeked of the aroma of fresh flowers. Most people thought that was a beautiful smell, but I always associated the scent with death. It triggered memories of my parents’ funeral. I didn’t have a lot of recollection from that day, but the smell of flowers stayed with me.

Rocco approached a man who I assumed was the undertaker. He was a tall, solemn man in a dark suit. He glanced at me and smiled briefly.

“Mrs. Bilotti,” he said. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you,” I spoke barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to intrude. I just want to say goodbye.”