Page 81 of On The Run

That was a great fucking question. “All the lights are off. I don’t want you to trip or get hurt.” Even Gray realized how lame that excuse was, but he let me get away with it. Amazing kid.

I threw Gray’s backpack over my shoulder. In case there really was danger and Gray had to run, I didn’t want him hindered by the weight of it, even if it was fairly light. I knew I was holding his hand a little too tightly, but I couldn’t help it. I had no idea what I’d find when I opened the door, and it scared the fuck out of me.

The week had been hard for all of us. After that amazing night we had together, I thought maybe we leaped over one of the hurdles. Of course, that was dumb of me to even consider. It’d barely been a month since the bastard was buried six feet deep, Aiden was still walking with crutches, and he had nightmares most nights. Nothing changed except we were physically intimate, and I should have realized it.

But after the most mind-blowing sex I’d ever had, Aiden passed out and slept the whole night without waking. So, yeah, I got my hopes up. And I was absolutely devastated at the reality check when the next night, he woke up next to me screaming with sweat dripping down his face, even as violent shivers wracked his body. Once he had calmed down enough, he practically begged me for a blowjob, and once he came in my mouth, he fell back to sleep.

So that was how every night had gone since the first. We had some sort of sex, though still nothing penetrative, and he slept, at least for a little while. Most of the time, it didn’t last the whole night, but he at least got a few hours rest. I had no idea if I was doing the right thing. I really needed to talk to his therapist, but personally, if having an orgasm and post-sex cuddles got him to sleep, then it was a win in my book. But in the long run, was I making things worse? I just didn’t know.

And then, the day before yesterday, Manny ended up back in the hospital in critical condition. He needed that damn experimental treatment and he needed it yesterday. Unfortunately, Manny’s health took a back burner when everything happened with Giovani, but it became evident that we couldn’t keep pushing it off anymore. I still had those applications for medical grants, and I still had all my parents’ connections in the medical field that I would gladly tap into to get him the treatment ASAP. I just needed Aiden and Manny on board with getting my help. They were both stubborn, and I knew it was hard enough to get them to accept living with me the last month, but this was another level. I believed I could get Aiden to agree. Since they no longer had to worry about any publicity getting back to Giovani, I firmly believed Aiden would put his Pops’s life over his pride. I planned to have a conversation with Aiden about it today, but now . . .

The house was dark and silent as we entered. Gray instinctively clung to my hand tighter, but I didn’t see that anything was disturbed. In fact, the front of the house was too clean. Aiden was a neat person, but usually there was some sign of his existence throughout the day. His shoes would be kicked to the side, one or more of his books would be left on the coffee table or the couch where he was reading, a glass in the sink, something. But nothing looked like it’d been moved since we cleaned up last night.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and unlocked it in case I had to call 9-1-1. The hallway light was off as well and the door to our bedroom was closed. I turned the knob and cracked it open. Aiden was lying on his side, facing away from me. The light was off in the bedroom, but the bathroom light was on with the door open, so he wasn’t in complete darkness. The blanket was up to his neck, and if it wasn’t for the slight movement in his shoulders, I wouldn’t be sure if he was even breathing.

“Hey, bud. Can you go hang in your room for bit? I’ll come get you for a snack and reading time soon.”

Gray pushed out his bottom lip and crossed his arms. “Is Aiden ok?” he asked, refusing to move.

“I’m not sure. He’s having a hard time this week.”

“I want to see him.” Before I could say no and stop him, Gray pushed the door open completely, with way too much force, so it slammed against the back wall. Aiden didn’t flinch.

“Gray!” I snapped, but the kid completely ignored me and jumped on the bed, practically lying on top of Aiden.

Gray had been really careful about Aiden’s injuries, especially his cracked ribs, and that didn’t change now. Even lying on top of my man, Gray was holding up most of his weight in a very considerate way I wouldn’t expect for a kid his age.

I quickly crossed to the bed, prepared to pull my kid off. Gray plucked an ear bud out of Aiden’s ear, and even from this distance, I could hear the Ramones blasting through it. How the hell hadn’t he burst an ear drum?

Aiden seemed to finally notice the weight of a tiny person on top of him and whipped his head toward Gray, annoyance in his eyes. And then he saw my son, and that immediately washed away. Could I love this man any more than I already did?

“Oh, hey, Gray. I didn’t hear you come home.”

“I’m surprised you can hear anything anymore with how loud that music is.” Aiden ignored my old-man comment and kept his focus on Gray.

“Are you sad, Aiden? Daddy said you were sad this week.” It wasn’t exactly what I said, but close enough.

I came and sat by Aiden’s feet, and I really looked at him. I didn’t think he’d gotten out of bed today. His eyes were puffy and swollen, and his under eyes were bruised and hollow from lack of sleep and the nightmares that wouldn’t stop plaguing him. He looked wrecked, and I didn’t know what I could do to help him. The only thing that seemed to give him a moment of peace lately was sex, but unfortunately, that wasn’t always an option.

Aiden looked like he might be close to tears, but he managed a smile. “Yeah, buddy. I am a little sad this week. I’m sorry.”

Gray shook his head. “You don’t need to be sorry for being sad. I know I told you that before,” my sassy son scolded. “That’s what Daddy said. It’s ok to feel however you feel, and you shouldn’t have to hide your emotions from those who love you and who you love.”

I melted, just turned into a puddle of goo right there on the corner of my bed. By Aiden’s expression and the warp speed of emotions that flew across his face, he was in a similar state.

“That’s very good advice. How’d you get so smart?”

Gray just shrugged. “You know what always helps me when I’m sad?”

“No, what?”

“Snuggles. And watchingBlack Panther. And ice cream.”

I met Aiden’s eyes over Gray’s head, and then both of us just cracked up, laughing right there. Unable to stop myself, I joined the cuddle pile. I was careful of Aiden’s injuries, lying the majority of my weight to the side of him, and I wrapped my arms around both Gray and Aiden. Gray easily fit in between the two of us, and honestly, despite the situation, it was fucking perfect. We just fit, the three of us, and I knew deep within my soul that Aiden was meant to be mine, meant to be ours.

I leaned over Gray and kissed the side of Aiden’s cheek. “Did something else happen?” I asked. Aiden seemed ok this morning when I left for work. If I knew he was like this, I would have never left him alone while I went to work. Guilt was surging through me. I always called him during my lunch break, but I worked right through it today and didn’t even text him to say I wasn’t going to call. Fuck, I needed to do better. “I’m sorry I didn’t call today. I got busy and time got away from me. It’s not an excuse. I’m just explaining.”

Aiden shrugged. “It’s fine. I can’t expect you to put your life on hold because of me. You’re allowed to be busy at work.”

---