Page 74 of On The Run

My fingers found Aiden’s cheek, as I was desperate to touch him. I brushed my thumb along his cheekbone, wiping the tears that were flowing. “Love, I need to you listen to me and listen well. Nothing you’ve been through or had to do to survive will change how I feel about you. If you want to tell me one day, then I’ll be honored that you want to share that with me, but regardless of that, my feelings won’t change.”

Aiden shook his head. “You can’t say that. People’s feelings change all the time. You have no idea what will happen.”

“You’re right. I don’t. I can’t sit here and promise we’ll last forever. It’s what I want, what I dream, but sometimes life happens, and people change. What I can say with one hundred percent certainty is that your past and whatever that bastard did to you will not change my feelings. If you need therapy, I’ll be with you before and after every appointment. If you struggle, I’ll be right by your side, struggling with you. The only way you’re getting rid of me is if you tell me to leave.”

Aiden turned his head away from me, but I saw the small smile on his face in his profile. “I don’t want you to leave.”

The weight was instantly lifted off my shoulders. It may not be a major declaration of love, but it was all I needed for now.

I snuggled Aiden in my arms, over joyous as he relaxed in my embrace. “And Gray. Would you like him to visit? It’s ok if you say no. I won’t be upset.”

“No. I want to see him. I’m sorry I freaked out.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for,tokki.”

Aiden snuggled in closer to me and his eyelids began to drift closed. I thought he might’ve fallen back to sleep when he spoke again. “Is he really dead?”

“Yeah, Aiden. He is.”

“I know you don’t want me to see him, but I need to. It won’t be real until I see his rotting body. I need to not be looking over my shoulder for once in my fucking life.”

I kissed the top of his head. I couldn’t even fucking imagine what life must’ve been like for him, and I hated it. I hated that I didn’t know him sooner and I wasn’t somehow able to stop it. I knew it wasn’t a logical thought process, but it was what it was.

“I get it,tokki. You need to do what’s best for you. But I’m coming with you if you’re ok with that.”

Aiden’s sleepy face turned up toward me. “Really? You’d do that?”

“Yes,tokki. I wasn’t kidding when I said I would do anything for you.”

“Thank you,” he replied softly.

He was drifting again. “Go to sleep, Aiden. Are you in pain? I’ll see if you can get more pain meds.”

Aiden shook his head. “No, I’m ok. I don’t like how they make me feel. I’m just so tired.”

“Rest, Aiden.”

“Max, I—”

“Shh.” I cut him off. I knew what he was about to say, but I didn’t want the words now. Not when he’d been wrecked to his core and was still in so much pain. I wanted Aiden’s mind to be clear and for him to truly think about it before he made any type of commitment to me. It would hurt more if he told me he loved me now and then took it back later once he’d had time to think. “Just rest now,tokki. We’ll have all the time in the world for declarations later.”

Aiden didn’t respond. He just melted into me and quickly succumbed to sleep.

It took another day before we were able to convince the doctor to allow Aiden down to the morgue to see Giovani Santino. I didn’t know how Kai pulled it off or how he’d gotten the hospital to agree to store his body here, under the name John Doe, until he was able to dispose of him. I had no clue what that entailed, and I had no intention of asking. The less I knew about his world, the better in my opinion.

An orderly pushed Aiden in a wheelchair down to the bottom floor where the hospital morgue was held. He was finally able to change out of the hospital robe and into navy-blue pajama pants and a long-sleeve gray pajama shirt. He had finally been allowed to shower, with assistance, and he had a bit of the sterile hospital soap smell. But still, I held his hand tightly as I walked through the floors next to his chair and relished the smell. It was 10x better than smelling like the hell he’d been through that had lingered on him since he was found.

Kai met us at the door of the morgue when we arrived. “Are you ok here, Aiden?” the orderly asked. “I can’t go in any farther.”

Aiden glanced up in the direction of the man, but he was looking right through him. I knew he was already in that room, already looking at Santino’s body on that slab. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

The orderly smiled politely. “No problem. I’ll, um, wait for y’all out here.”

He walked away with an awkward wave and took a seat at an empty desk in front of the door. Aiden turned his focus to the morgue. His jaw was set and his expression hard. I knew he was pushing down all his emotions, just trying to get through this.

“You ready?” Kai asked him, but I held up my hand to him and squatted in front of Aiden. He didn’t notice me, though, as he continued to glare at the door like he could somehow see through it and kill Santino all over again with his look.

I lightly touched his cheek, my fingers just grazing over a purpling bruise along his cheek. “Aiden, look at me, love.”

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