Page 44 of On The Run

Shockingly enough, I didn’t have any desire to run, though. I wanted nothing more than to stay right here, in Max’s arms, for the rest of my life.

“Amazing. Max, that was everything.”

I could feel him smile into my hair, and then the sensation of his lips as he kissed my head. “It was for me too,tokki.”

I decided I loved when he called me that: rabbit. It made me feel special, safe, and secure in a way I didn’t realize was possible.

A little while later, I felt myself dozing, and I knew I wouldn’t make it much longer. “Max?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I don’t want to leave.”

Max turned to face me, understanding the seriousness of the conversation.

“I don’t want you to leave either.”

I shook my head. He didn’t get it. How could he? Not when I hadn’t explained a damn thing. It was on the tip of my tongue to let my whole life story out, but I didn’t. It wasn’t the time. Instead, I just said, “No, I mean, I don’t want to leave ever. If I disappear, just know it wasn’t by choice. It might be hard to believe because of my history, but I won’t ghost you. If I disappear, please look for me, Max. I’m not going to leave you.”

Max’s eyes were narrowed and there was a storm brewing behind them. I couldn’t even imagine what he was thinking. I met them and prayed he could see what I couldn’t put into words through my expression. I tried to show him all I was feeling, everything I couldn’t say out loud, and just hoped it was enough. His hand reached out and his thumb lightly traced my cheekbone and down to my lip. I leaned into his touch.

Max didn’t say anything for a long time. So long, I was holding my breath, waiting for him to kick me out, or laugh in my face, or demand answers I knew I’d never be able to choke out. Instead, he wrapped those big arms around me, and I burrowed my head into his chest. It was quickly becoming my favorite spot in the whole world.

Just when I was sure he wasn’t going to say a damn thing and I started to drift to the sounds ofParks and Recdroning on in the background, I heard Max whisper. His voice was so low, I had to strain to hear it. I was near passing out, so I couldn’t even be sure I wasn’t dreaming it. But just as sleep finally took me, I swore I heard Max say, “Tokki, I won’t let you go. I’ll search to the ends of the Earth if I have to. But if you go, I will always find you.”

With a warmth in my chest I never felt before, I finally drifted completely off.

Chapter20

Max

“Daddy!There’s no more soap in my bathroom and I went potty!”

I jolted awake, the way I did most mornings, to Gray’s overly loud voice and his way too eager knocks that really meant nothing because he was simultaneously opening the door.

Before I even saw his face, moments from last night came flooding forward: pinning Aiden to my desk, his soft moans, the way his body moved when he came in my hand, the desperate plea and promise he whispered late into the night, me carrying him up to my bed, us falling asleep together . . .

Fuck! Aiden was lying in my bed and Gray was walking in and about to get a half-naked eyeful of one of his favorite people in the world.

“Daddy,” Gray said again, this time with a little annoyance since I didn’t answer him right away. “Do you have more soap for my bathroom? You said I always need to wash my hands with soap, but I don’t have any.”

My little mini-me was standing in the middle of my room, his fist on his hip, his pajamas and hair still rumpled from sleep, and didn’t seem to even notice the man sleeping next to me.

I turned to my right and my heart immediately lurched in my throat. No wonder Gray didn’t react to anything; the bed was empty. Aiden wasn’t here. I hoped my panic wasn’t obvious as I turned back to Gray. “Just a second, buddy, I have extras in my bathroom. I’ll get it for you.”

“Ok!”

I stumbled out of bed, reminding myself that I needed to take care of Gray before I went into full crisis mode. Besides, there could be so many reasons why Aiden wasn’t in my bed right now. After his revelation, I thought we were finally past him running, but sometimes promises made in the middle of the night didn’t hold as much weight in the light of the morning.

I got Gray soap and shooed him out of the room before I fucking lost it. There was no sign Aiden was even here. His phone, that I plugged in for him last night, was gone, as were his sneakers and pants that were folded up neatly on my dresser. I grabbed my phone.

I wasn’t sure if the text flashing from Aiden made me feel better or worse. I was glad he didn’t just fucking ghost me, but who knew what the message said. I took a deep breath and clicked it open.

Aiden: Good morning ?? Last night was amazing. I just ran out to get us breakfast and check on Pops. I’ll be back soon.

Relief filled me. He didn’t run. Aiden kept his promise. The text was from forty-five minutes ago. I still didn’t know exactly where Aiden and his pops lived, but it was reasonable for him to still be gone.

I quickly shot back a text:

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