Page 41 of On The Run

Aiden

My hands shookas I stared down at the papers in my hands, all the implications these seemingly innocent-looking applications could have flashing through my mind at record speed.

I couldn’t seem to focus. The first thing I thought when I accidentally saw the pile of grant applications and other notes about Pops’s cancer on Max’s desk was panic. Pure unadulterated fear. There was a very real reason we’d never applied to anything like this, and if Max did it without my knowledge, then he basically led Giovani Santino right to our doorstep.

Once I had enough rational thought piercing through the terror, I realized that these were largely blank, meaning they probably weren’t submitted. How would Max do that without me anyway? You needed all kinds of personal information on these things I never gave Max. Maybe, we were ok. Maybe I found them before Max did anything with them. Besides, the asshole may already be here and showed up at the library, not the hospital or our home.

Once I was breathing a little easier, that was when the anger started to break through. I knew he meant well, but did he really think he could just insert himself in my life and start fixing my problems?

I looked up from the papers and back at Max, who was still standing on the bottom stair and hadn’t fully entered the family room, a mixture of guilt and determination across his face.

“Well?” I asked, my voice hard even to my own ears. I didn’t want to be an asshole, but it was hard for me to rationalize the good in what Max was trying to do when all I could think about was what could have happened.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. But I swear, I was going to talk to you before I did anything else.”

The fear started creeping up again, my chest tightening as it got harder to breathe. “What do you mean anything else? Max, have you talked to anyone about this?”

The guilty look was answer enough. Fucking, fuckety fuck. Everything came crashing down on me, and I was trying to find a solution. I needed to get Pops out of our house. We couldn’t travel far, but maybe I could get him a room at the hospital or something. He’d be safer there. I’d need to call in the favor I’d been holding onto for the last two years. I prayed I’d never have to reach out to them again . . . but . . .

“Aiden? Are you listening?”

My eyes shot up and met Max’s concerned face at the sharpness in his tone. I didn’t think I’d ever heard him speak like that before. It broke through the thoughts in my head, but it pissed me off even more. How dare he snap at me when he caused this.He was just trying to help. He has no idea what you’re running from, the rational part of my brain tried to tell me. But I didn’t want to listen to reason right now, so I ignored it.

“What?” I snapped, feeling very vulnerable.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap,” Max said, sighing. He finally walked all the way into the room, but not before he closed the sliding divider that gave this room some privacy and flipped the latch locked. I swallowed down my initial fear. I knew Max was just trying to give us some privacy, not hurt me. He hadn’t quite closed the space between us—which was good because I didn’t think I could manage that right now. “You just got lost in your head and I was trying to get your attention. I did reach out to a few of my parents’ friends. They have a lot of connections in the medical field, and I know a few of them would be willing to help or at least have advice. But I didn’t give either your or Manny’s name. I promise.” Max scrubbed his face, suddenly looking exhausted, and I felt a little bad I made him feel like that.

“Aiden, listen, I know I should have spoken to you sooner, probably before I even pulled any of this up.” I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows in ayou think?gesture. “But you don’t know what it did to me seeing you in the parking lot like that. I would do anything to take that pain away from you. And while I don’t have that kind of money or a medical degree, I did have some resources and I needed to utilize them. Maybe it’s fucking selfish, but if I have a way to help or fix someone I care about’s problems, I’m going to do it.”

I slumped down into the desk chair that was behind me, unable to even stand on my own. I didn’t have the energy to be angry anymore. All I felt was numb.

I didn’t speak for a long time, and Max was fidgeting, most likely trying to figure if he should leave me be or get closer. I didn’t even know what I wanted so I ignored him as I tried to get enough of a handle on my feelings so I could speak.

Max obviously meant no harm. I was fucking touched he cared this much about me, that he’d do this. Fingering through the stack of papers, I could see he’d done a lot of research on this. I got it; I really did. I still didn’t know what to do with it though. Pops and I almost always handled everything on our own.

I thought back to the only time we ever had gotten any help. It was two years ago, the last timehefound us. By the time I got to the hospital, I was sure I was a goner. And then my own personal guardian angel in the guise of an intern at the hospital stepped in and completely changed our lives.

So, could I really be upset at Max? Sure, he may have inadvertently set up a shit storm of epic proportions, but how could he have known? It wasn’t like I’d ever told him anything about my past. Maybe it was a little presumptuous to involve yourself in someone’s affairs that you barely knew, but Max was just like that. If he could help someone, he would. It was one of the things that I found so fucking endearing about him. I certainly couldn’t fault him when he turned it on me, could I?

Finally, I looked up at Max. “I know you mean well, and you don’t understand everything, but if you submitted these—” I swallowed hard. “Well, let’s just say, you can’t submit these, and you can’t tell anyone about us, please?”

Max’s expression was serious as he finally crossed the distance between us and knelt in between my legs. A gasp escaped me as Max’s hands gently touched my thighs. The light touch sent a shock through me, crashing right through my muddled mind and quieting it in a way it’d never been before.

“Talk to me, Aiden. What’s going on? What are you so afraid of?”

I laughed against my own will, but it was angry. Nothing funny about this. “Shit, Max, please don’t ask me that.”

Max sat up on his knees so that we were face-to-face, those brown eyes searing into my soul. He was moving cautiously like he always did with me, like he was afraid I was going to bat him away and run. It was a valid fear, so I never called him on it, even if I fucking hated it. I didn’t want Max to be cautious with me. I wanted that man back in Gray’s bedroom. The one who took what he wanted from me with no hesitation.

When I didn’t protest, he brought his one hand up and cupped the back of my head, bringing our faces just inches from each other. The moment was too intimate, and it took all of my willpower not to push away. From here, I could feel the hot air of his breath, smell just the faintest hint of the Chinese food we had for dinner.

Max closed the distance, but instead of his lips meeting mine, he kissed the bridge of my nose, right between my eyes. “Let me in. You have a heavy weight on your shoulders,tokki. Let me be the one to share it with you.”

I shattered. Right there in Max’s office/family room, I burst into a million tiny pieces. One day, I’d love to have a conversation with Max that didn’t end with me in tears. Today was not that day. This man. I’d been pushing away the feelings I had for him for weeks, months really, if I was being honest with myself. It wasn’t fair to either of us if I fell in love with him. All that would do was cause him heartbreak at best and an early grave at worst.

When I wasn’t near Max, I could sometimes forget just how much I’d fallen for him. Sometimes I was able to continue to believe it was just a harmless crush on the hot dad who came into the café. He just took a hammer to that illusion and fucking destroyed it. I couldn’t deny my feelings anymore. It was just a matter of what I was going to do with them.

Reaching out, I cupped the side of Max’s face, relishing the rough feeling of his scruff. My thumb slid across his cheek and brushed along his bottom lip. Max parted them slightly, and I had to resist the urge to thrust my thumb inside.

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