Page 36 of On The Run

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” I had my hands in front of me, palms out in a placating gesture. “You zoned out, and I wanted to make sure you’re ok.”

It took Aiden a moment to come back to reality. I saw as the fear bled from his expression and was replaced by embarrassment. He scrubbed his face with his hands and looked away from me, his shoulders pulled up to his ears. “Fuck.”

His back was turned to me, but the statement was clear. He didn’t want me to see him like that. He wanted me to walk away. Well, I’d never been very good at that. I did it once—a one-night stand where I didn’t think about the girl again. But with Aiden, even thinking about letting go made me physically ill. I took another step toward him.

“Aiden.” My voice was gruff, emotion right on the surface. It was killing me seeing Aiden hurting like this and not knowing what I could do to fix it. If it was just Manny, I could help. It may not be enough, but I could be useful. But whatever was happening now was about more than his sick father. Without even an inkling of the truth, I had no idea how to solve this.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

I looked back at the bouncy house, and Gray was still going strong. Knowing that he was ok, I turned my attention to Aiden, making him face me. I placed my thumb under his chin and lifted his head up. Except for in those rare moments when his fear and instincts took over, Aiden was usually so guarded, his walls had walls and I couldn’t always tell what he was thinking or feeling. Those walls were crumbling in front of my eyes, but he looked so broken, I couldn’t even feel good about it.

“I’m so tired, Max. I’m so tired of running.”

That wasn’t the first time he’d said something like that, but I still wished I knew what he meant. Running from what? Or from whom? “Then don’t run anymore.”

Aiden’s laugh was bitter, almost cruel. “Yeah, wow, ok. Why didn’t I think of that before? I’ll just stop.”

The hurt and sarcasm were bleeding from his words, and all I wanted to do was touch him, ease his pain. All around us, families were continuing their day, completely oblivious to the man in front of them who was seconds away from shattering into a billion little pieces.

I wasn’t though. He was all I saw. Aiden wrapped his arms protectively around himself, effectively putting a barrier between us. “Aiden, please, let me help.”

His dark eyes were burning a hole into me, he was staring so intensely. A lesser man would’ve looked away, but I couldn’t. “You can’t help, Max. The best thing you can do for yourself is grab Gray and stay as far away from me as you fucking can.”

I didn’t let the hurt show on my face as I tried to reach out to Aiden and he flinched away. I saw Gray notice us and begin to run in our direction. “Gray, can you go play for a few more minutes, buddy? Aiden and I just need to have grown-up talk for a bit.”

Gray pouted, but he was pretty perceptive for a little kid, so one look at Aiden had him nodding his head. “Ok, Dad.”

“Thanks, bud. How about we go and get ice cream when we’re done.”

“Is Aiden coming?”

Aiden had been watching our conversation, his eyes bouncing back and forth between Gray and me. When Gray asked if he was coming, he froze like a deer in headlights. “I’m not sure, buddy. He might be busy, but we’ll see. Go on and play for a bit, alright?”

I wasn’t sure if Gray was going to protest, but he just nodded and ran back into the bouncy house section. Once I knew he was ok, my attention went solely back to Aiden.

“I know you’re scared, Aiden. And I know when you let that fear take over, that’s when you push me away. The back and forth is giving me whiplash, baby, but until you look me in the eye and tell me you want to stop whatever this is, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Max—” Aiden began, his tone hesitant, full of anguish.

“Go ahead, Aiden. Tell me you want me to leave. That inviting me here was a mistake. That you don’t want to be friends anymore. That you don’t want to see me again. Look me in the fucking eyes, Aiden, and tell me that and I’ll leave. I’ll take Gray and you’ll never see either of us again. I’ll find a new coffee shop. I won’t text you. I won’t stop by. I’ll leave your life and let you be.”

My voice was steady despite how fucking terrified I was that Aiden might take this out I was giving him. I was throwing all my cards on the table and taking a gamble, but if I was wrong and he told me to go, I thought I’d break. I had no idea how this man had gotten so deep under my skin, but he had, and it would be physically painful if I had to let him go.Please, don’t tell me to go.

Aiden swallowed hard and looked up at the sky, blinking back tears. He was rocking back and forth and for a second, I thought he was just going to run again, like he did at the restaurant. He didn’t though. He turned back to me and looked me right in the eye.

“Max—” He was trying to stay tough, but his voice was breaking. I maintained eye contact, not moving, barely breathing.

“Max—”

I took that final step closer. My jacket was brushing up against his arms. I still didn’t touch him though.

“Go on, Aiden. Tell me.”

And then it happened. The dam broke, and Aiden choked on a sob as he threw his arms around me. “Don’t go. Please don’t go. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me.”

Aiden kept mumbling the words into my chest over and over and over again. I squeezed him tightly to me. This was the second time in only a few weeks that I found myself in this position, soothing Aiden while he cried. As much as I loathed seeing him hurting, it also relaxed me, knowing I could be this safe spot for him, because I didn’t think he’d had many. All I wanted to do was take away his hurt.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

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