Page 37 of On The Run

I saw Gray watching us, along with a bunch of other nosy fuckers, and I motioned for him to come over.

“Is he ok?” Gray asked in that way-too-loud way that only little kids had.

“He’s just a little sad right now, Gray.”

Gray nodded, watching the two of us intently. “I’m sorry,” Aiden choked out again and tried to push away, but I didn’t let him.

“You don’t need to say sorry for crying,” Gray told Aiden sagely. “Daddy says that if you’re really sad and feel like you need to cry, then that’s ok and you shouldn’t hide your emotions just because other people are uncomfortable. He said that as long as you’re safe and not hurting other people or being mean, that it is good and healthy.”

Despite the heavy situation, I couldn’t not laugh at Gray’s declaration. We talked a lot about emotions when Gray first came to me, both alone and with his therapist. Gray, understandably, had a lot of big feelings, and being only 5 and previously punished whenever he cried, he had a hard time expressing those emotions and would often lash out when he couldn’t contain them. He’d been doing a lot better, but I didn’t realize how much our talks impacted him until right now.

Aiden’s shoulders were shaking, and I realized he was laughing. He pulled his head away from me just enough so he could look at Gray. “That’s very smart advice.”

Gray grinned. “Can I hug you? That always helps me.” My heart warmed. This kid.

Aiden wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and squatted down in the grass so he was Gray height. “I’d love a hug, little man.”

Gray launched himself into Aiden’s arms. I felt complete watching the two of them together. This. This was what I wanted. I knew it was absolutely insane, and Aiden was lightyears away from ever accepting anything close to a relationship with me, but seeing this man with my son, I knew this was meant to be. The three of us were destined to be a family. I just needed to somehow convince Aiden of this. But I was a patient man, and I was willing to wait. Aiden was worth it.

“Thank you,” Aiden whispered to Gray, but his eyes met mine, and I knew he was talking to both of us.

“You’re welcome. Can you come get ice cream with us? Please?” Gray pleaded, his puppy-dog eyes in full effect.

I laughed and looked down at them. Aiden was watching me, and I could see he was scared. It may only be ice cream, but it was just one more step to Aiden staying, to him giving in and not running from us, just like inviting us to this event today. All these tiny little things that wouldn’t blip on most people’s radars were monumental steps for him. Every time he agreed to lunch or showed up to a cookout, it was another brick in the wall that he built to protect himself coming down, and I couldn’t imagine how frightening it must be for someone like Aiden, who was so tightly guarded. Each of these tiny little steps was one closer to him being mine, and I’d take every one I could get.

I didn’t say anything, just watched him. I hoped my expression was portraying everything I was feeling. I needed him to know how much I wanted him, even if I wouldn’t push for more than he could handle. I needed him to understand I wasn’t going anywhere despite whatever secrets he was hiding.

Aiden swallowed hard. He was shaking as he stood up and once again wrapped his arms around himself protectively. But he nodded. “Yeah, ice cream sounds good.”

Gray jumped with a whoop, pumping the air with his little fist. I somehow managed to keep myself from doing the exact same thing for real, but I was doing a victory dance in my head.

I held out my hand for Aiden, just like I did at my parents’ house. And just like then, Aiden stared at it for so long, I almost put it down. But he took it and gave me a small smile, and a piece of me settled.

After briefly telling his supervisor that he was leaving, we walked out hand in hand. I knew I was setting myself up for heartbreak, and not just me, but Gray. If Aiden panicked and finally left us for good, we’d both be devastated. A small voice in my head told me I should listen to Aiden and leave now, at least for my son’s sake. But I couldn’t. I was already a little bit in love, and I wasn’t letting go without a fight.

Chapter17

Aiden

How didI end up here? Max accused me of giving him whiplash. Well, I was giving it to myself too. When Mary first told me someone was asking for me, I became determined to ignore it. I was going to stay, see what happened with Max, take care of Pops, go to college, live my fucking life.

And just mere minutes later, I sawhim.Or well, at least I thought I did. He was blending in with the crowd, and it was only a glimpse. I blinked and he was gone. I was sure I was imagining it, but just the possibility of seeing him was enough.

It was too late to run from our little town here in Colorado, not with Pops, and I’d never leave him to face that monster alone. Maybehe’dignore Pops if I left on my own and just go after me. That would be ideal. But I knew the fucking bastard would use Pops as bait, and I wouldn’t let that happen, so running, likethatanyway, was no longer an option. But I could leave Max and Gray out of it. I’d been weak stringing them along for the last couple of months. Selfish. I thought I could just carry on with my life, even if the asshole found us. Ha. What did I think would happen? And if he knew about Max? About how I felt about him? I wouldn’t let that happen to him.

So, by the time Max and Gray showed up to the library, I completely switched tactics, again, and had been determined to tell him goodbye. And then one look at that man and my resolve wavered.

After the event, I didn’t want to ruin it for Gray. But once it was over and it was time to go, I’d tell Max this was it. I was so sure I’d be able to do it. I was ready. And then Max put another spell on me, and I couldn’t say it. He fucking dared me to tell him to go today and I froze.

And somehow, all my best laid plans went to shit, as always, and not only did I accept Max’s hand and leave the library with them, not only did I go and get ice cream with them, but somehow, some way, I ended up going back to his house.

What the fuck was wrong with me? If my bastard father was following me and saw me coming here, I just signed Max’s death warrant. No, it would be worse than death. Yet, I still went. Because I was fucking weak. I was selfish. Hell, I deserved for him to find me. If he did anything to Max or Gray, I’d welcome whatever punishment he deemed I earned.

When I texted Pops to tell him I was going out with Max, I half hoped he’d tell me he wasn’t feeling well and I needed to come home. Instead, I got a huge thumbs-up and ahave fun. So, against my better judgement, I followed a bouncing Gray and a lot more subdued Max down the path and into their home. I was barely in the door when I fell in love with the place. I remembered Max saying he bought it shortly after getting custody because his apartment in the city just wasn’t going to cut it. He wanted Gray to have space and a yard. He succeeded.

“You gotta take off your shoes,” Gray told me, giving me just enough time to kick my Chucks off before taking my arm and dragging me through the first floor so I could see his room. I looked back at Max, but I was getting no rescue there. He was grinning from ear to ear.

“I’ll grab the takeout menus while you get the tour.”

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