Prologue
Aiden 4 years old
I layin my racecar bed with my eyes shut tight, but I couldn’t sleep. The yelling stopped a little while ago, but it might start again. Papa gave me special headphones to wear when he and daddy fought so I didn’t hear it, but I didn’t wear them. If I had them on, I couldn’t hear if Papa got hurt or if Daddy tried to come into my room. I knew I’d be sleepy in the morning, but I was just too scared to close my eyes.
I heard someone walking down the hallway. I pulled my Spider-Man blanket up to my neck and closed my eyes even tighter. I thought,one day, when I’m big, I’ll be like Spider-Man and help people like Papa. But right then, the best I could do was not make Daddy mad. Or madder. Daddy was always a little mad.
My door opened and I held my breath. Maybe if I was really, really still, Daddy would think I was sleeping and leave me alone. Or maybe he’d forget I was here. Sometimes, when Daddy’s breath smelled extra bad, he forgot what he was doing before he did it. Sometimes that was bad, and sometimes that was good.
Something soft touched my cheek and then I felt a kiss on the top of my head. I opened my eyes because it had to be Papa. Daddy never kissed my head.
“Hi, sweetheart,” Papa whispered when I opened my eyes. He caressed the boo-boo on my cheek I got when Daddy got mad earlier today. It hurt a little, but Papa’s touches always made it feel better.
“Is it already time to get up, Papa?” I didn’t think so. The yelling only stopped a little while ago, but sometimes it lasted a long time, so I wasn’t sure.
“Yes, but it’s still nighttime. You and I are going to go on a little trip, ok, sweetheart?”
I swallowed and looked at the door. “Just you and me? No Daddy?”
Papa looked sad but he still smiled. He had a big red mark on his cheek and one eye didn’t open all of the way. Daddy must have gotten mad again.
“No Daddy. Just the two of us. Is that ok?”
I nodded. A lot. It was always less scary when it was just Papa and me. But Daddy would probably be mad. He didn’t like us going places without him.
“Yes!” I told Papa excitedly. “But won’t Daddy be mad?”
Papa looked sad again. “Don’t worry about Daddy, ok?”
I nodded.
Papa kissed my forehead and smooshed my hair. “Then we’re going to leave now, ok? Do you still have the backpack in your closet?”
I told Papa yes, and he went to my closet and came out with my coat and Spider-Man backpack. Papa helped me out of bed and got my shoes and coat on. Then, he put on my backpack. He went to my door and picked up his own big bag. I just realized that Papa was dressed in real clothes and had a coat and shoes on. Did Papa sleep with his clothes on? I started to giggle.
Papa looked at me and then kneeled so he was in front of me. “We’re going to leave right now. But we’re going to play a game, ok?”
I loved games! “Yes, Papa!”
“There’s only one rule, and that’s to be as quiet as you can. Whoever lasts the longest wins. And that’s even with walking. We’re going to go on tiptoe, alright, sweetheart?”
I was really good at being quiet. I had to be quiet for Daddy a lot of times. I’d win this game for us.
I didn’t know if the game had started so I put my fingers to my lips and nodded. Papa smiled again. “Perfect, sweetheart. That’s exactly what you’re gonna do. Now, Papa’s arm has a big boo-boo so I can’t hold you and my bag. Do you think you can be a super big boy and walk with me and hold your backpack? I’ll hold your hand.”
I gave Papa my best smile. I could be the best big boy!
“Good. Good job. Ok, we’re going to go now. Remember, be very, very quiet.”
I kept my hand that wasn’t holding Papa’s over my mouth to make sure I stayed extra quiet. I was going to win the game for sure! I wondered what I’d get for winning. Was there candy on this trip?
Papa kept looking back and forth as he led me down the hallway. We were both super quiet! Papa froze right before we passed his and Daddy’s room. He put his finger over his mouth, reminding me about the game. Even if we weren’t playing, I was always quiet when Daddy was sleeping. Waking him up could be really bad.
We walked extra super-duper quiet past Daddy and Papa’s room and to the stairs. Papa stopped again and tilted his head. Then he walked downstairs, holding my hand tight. We made it to the door. There was an alarm to let Daddy know any time someone came or left. Papa was shaking as he pressed the buttons to turn it off. Was he cold? Or was it because he knew the buttons made a beeping sound when you pressed them. That was ok. I wouldn’t count them against Papa for the game. That wasn’t his fault.
The alarm let out a big beep and the door clicked. Just as Papa touched the handle, loud music played from upstairs. I knew it was Daddy’s phone. It made that soundallthe time.
Papa’s eyes got very big. “Come on,” he whispered. “We need to go.”