Page 62 of The Surrogate Omega, Part Two

Gods, I swallow hard. “O-on my cock.” I can barely whisper the words. Judging by the matching shudders, they both heard.

“Fucking A, Lake. Once you’re cleared to have sex . . .”

Evander doesn’t get to finish the sentence when an ear-piercing wail comes from behind us. We all nearly jump out of our skin, all but forgetting Bodhi sleeping behind us. I swallow down the guilt as Logan gets up to prepare a bottle for the baby. I guess it’s a good thing I’m not actually his dad. I’d clearly be a terrible one.

The moment is gone, but another more intimate one takes its place as Logan squeezes back into the bed with Bodhi and a bottle in his arms. I use gimme fingers to ask for the baby. Zoe hasn’t let me feed or change him yet, and I’m itching to do so. Part of me feels like maybe I should let Logan or Evander do it so I can help distance my feelings about Bodhi back into the honorary uncle category, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I need this moment.

My two mates sit at my side and coo and fuss at the baby as I feed him. It’s adorable watching him blindly search for the bottle and his relief once his little lips are around it. I may not be around for every single feeding or diaper change or sleepless night, but I will cherish this moment forever.

Once he’s content and Logan brings him back to his bassinet, I cherish cuddling into my mates and drifting off to sleep. I never in a million years expected this to be my life, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Epilogue: Luke

My fingers tap a pattern on the battered table at the pub I agreed to meet Joel at. I got here way too early and have been nursing a beer for about twenty minutes, fighting the urge to just leave.

The bell above the front door of the pub rings, and I glance up. It’s still not Joel. I’m not surprised since he texted me about three minutes ago saying he’d be here in ten minutes, but still. He really needs to get here soon before I lose my nerve.

It’s still hard to believe this is my life. I’ve spent most of my fifty-two years doing the same routine over and over. I graduated high school and went to trade school. I got a decent job doing construction, worked my way up, and eventually bought the company. I married the love of my life, adopted her two amazing sons, and had my wonderful daughter. I cared for my wife through her battle with cancer and then raised my children after her death.

Even after my kids grew up and moved out, my life still revolved around them and work. Retirement didn’t leave me with anything to focus on besides doting on my granddaughter and annoying the fuck out of my employees by showing up when I’m not supposed to be there.

It may have been dull, and a little lonely, but I was happy with my life. I was proud of it. And then, I met Joel. From the second I set eyes on the man at the dead spouses group, as Joel and some of the others call it, he completely turned my life upside down. I didn't think I had another chance at love. I thought that Helen was my one true love, and she was taken from me too soon. No one gets a love like that twice. Hell, most people don’t get it once. I’m lucky to have ever experienced it. I know that. And while my feelings for Joel are not on that level, the L word has been swirling around in my head more and more.

Of course, as my children have so fondly pointed out, I can’t really express that to him while still claiming we’re only friends.

I down the rest of my beer and check my phone to see another text from Joel. He’s outside and will be here in a minute.

The nerves start to ramp up again, but I owe this to Joel to do this. The man has the patience of a saint as he waits for my stubborn ass to catch up. He has always been honest and upfront, not only about his feelings and wishes for our relationship, but with the way his heart works. He deserves for me to keep an open mind.

It’s hard to explain why I’ve been so resistant to this. I certainly don’t judge him for being polyamorous. After all, my own son is in a poly relationship, though his is different than what Joel explained to me. And that’s fine. I just don’t know if I have it in me to be part of his polycule.

Not that Joel has a line of lovers he’s seeing. Since we started whatever this is, he’s only ever seen one other person. It’s still recent, but I know Joel’s feelings are growing for the guy. I thought I’d be jealous when Joel told me about him, but I wasn’t. I only felt longing. And an ache that I’ll never be enough for Joel. That’s one of the reasons I hesitated to make things official between us. After a lot of prodding, I finally opened up, and Joel and I spent a long time discussing everything and how it’s not really that I’m not enough for him, but that his heart is big enough to have a full and complete love for more than one person at the same time.

It was after that very exposing conversation and a few days of soul searching and sulking that I asked Joel to meet the other guy he’s seeing. I think I need to talk to him to really understand this before I can finally make the commitment to Joel I’ve been longing to make.

As I see Joel walk into the pub, looking as nervous as I feel, it occurs to me I asked no details about this other person. I know he’s a male, and Joel admitted he’s much younger, but I don’t even know his name. I guess I’ll find out when he shows up.

Joel gets to the table and kisses me lightly. Even after months of these kisses, I can’t get enough of them, and I fight the urge to chase his lips and beg for more.

“Hey. Thanks for doing this, amato.” I flush at the term of endearment, like I do every time Joel uses it. He told me once it means sweetheart or beloved, and my pulse always increases and I get a strange sensation in my heart when he uses it.

“Of course,” I finally manage. “I’m excited to meet him.”

Joel smiles like he doesn’t quite believe me, but he doesn’t push. “He just texted me he should be here any minute.”

“Ok, great.”

Joel’s smile thins into a tight line. “Just a warning, he can be a lot. He’s a sweetheart and fiercely loyal, smart. A great guy. But, well, you’ll see.”

“It’s fine. My son’s best friend is like that. At first, I was a little taken aback, but once I saw how loyal he is to River, the kid started to feel like another son to me.”

That doesn’t relax Joel. “Also, please don’t call him a kid. I know he’s the same age as your boys, but he is thirty and a grown man.”

I try not to flinch at that. Joel had been open with how much younger this guy is then us and in theory, I’m fine with it. After all, it’s not like thirty is a child. Both my boys have families of their own. They’re grown ass men, and so is this guy.

Still, once Joel gets it in my head that he’s Riv’s and Lake’s age, it’s hard to shake that. Yes, they are adults, but they’re still my kids and I’ll always think of them that way even when they’re in their fifties and sixties. If I put this man in the same age group as my boys, I’m going to struggle with that.

I don’t have much time to panic when the door of the pub opens again. Joel turns around in his seat. “Oh, good. He’s here.” He raises his hand and waves so the guy knows where to go.

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