Page 37 of The Surrogate Omega, Part Two

Dad takes the phone from me, and I feel lighter. He smiles genuinely, his eyes twinkling. It’s a side profile picture, like the progress pics that moms take throughout their pregnancies. Lake thinks they are ridiculous, but Zoe basically begged him to do them, so he’s humoring her.

His typical button-down dress shirts don’t fit anymore, and we can’t find ones that work for him, so he’s wearing a cashmere sweater instead. It’s not super tight, but tight enough that you can see the swell of his belly. Much to his dismay, I forced Lake to put his hands on the top and bottom of his bump, to smooth out the sweater and emphasize the size. The look he’s giving me could probably kill, if the love wasn’t shining through.

“He’s really being a good sport with all the bells and whistles. I’m sure the shower made him uncomfortable.”

I snort and take my phone back from him. Understatement of the year. “You can say that again. He hates being the center of attention. And it’s even more awkward because he feels like he shouldn’t be involved in all those little things, but Zoe keeps insisting.” She made him sit with her as she opened presents for the first ten minutes, until Logan and I intervened and took him back to our table. Lake’s discomfort felt like a literal weight pulling me down while he tried to smile though it and ignore the stares he was getting from friends and family that aren’t part of our immediate circle. Finally, Lo and I couldn’t take it anymore and dragged him back.

“It’s nice she’s trying to keep you guys a part of it. You may not be the child’s dads, but you are all so close, you’ll be a big part of the child’s life.”

I shift in my lawn chair, relaxing my head back and closing my eyes. I try to hide it from my mates, but I’m exhausted. Logan’s back to working nights and doubles lately, and though Lake’s been home more often, he’s struggling to sleep and his tossing and turning are keeping me up. He’s offered to sleep in a separate room, but I shut that shit down real quick. I’d rather have sleepless nights than not have him next to me.

“Yeah, she calls him Uncle Lake. I love seeing him smile every time she says it. He tries to downplay it, but it’s special to him.”

“It should be. This is a special thing for all of you. I’m so proud of all of you, how you’re making it work. I know it can’t be easy.”

I snort again. “No, it’s not. I feel like we can never truly settle into our relationship because shit keeps popping up.”

I hear Dad shift in his chair, so I open my eyes to see him looking right at me. “There’s always going to be shit popping up, Ev. That’s just life. You three just need to learn how to live your lives around that.” He watches me with serious eyes. “But I know you will. The bond you three have is special. I can’t pretend to understand how three people all together work, but I can see that it does. I always thought you and Logan would end up together, even as he brought girlfriend after girlfriend over. It’s clear now you two just needed Lake there to seal that bond.”

I let Dad’s words sink in as the chill of the day starts to spread through me, but I don’t mind. I often wonder why things never progressed with Logan until Lake entered our lives, but maybe Dad is right. We needed all three of us to be there for it to work. And Dad’s also right about life. There will always be things that happen we don’t plan for. Logan and Lake will always be taken away from date nights or planned days off because of work. We will always have to deal with the stigma of a poly relationship and the ever-changing world as the new gene continues to grow and change. We don’t have to let it stop us though. They are just roadblocks, not dead ends. And just like Dad, I have faith that we will find our way through them.

Eventually, even Dad is over the cold, and we make our way inside. He’s having an issue with a closet door not closing right, so I help him with that before we start cooking together. Logan and Lake are both supposed to meet us here for dinner, as well as my friend Lucy, who I am embarrassed to say I haven’t seen in months.

“Do you think both Lake and Logan will be able to make it?” my dad asks as he chops peppers. There’s no judgement in his voice. He knows how their jobs work.

I shrug. “They say they will be able to. Lake’s schedule has been a lot less busy lately. I think his immediate supervisor was told he needs to be more accommodating for Lake after the scare.” I grin and shake my head, blinking back tears from the onion I’m chopping. “I guess Lake is like some kind of prodigy in the computer world and his big bosses are terrified that another organization is gonna come swoop him up. Lake hasn’t come out and said it, but I’m pretty sure his supervisor is jealous as fuck. He knows damn well Lake would have his job if he wanted it.”

Dad doesn’t know all the details of Lake’s job, obviously. But he does know he does computer stuff for a government agency. He’s not a dumbass though, so I’m sure he’s put two and two together, but he’s smart enough not to ask any questions.

“I’m sure Lake wouldn’t be comfortable in a supervisory role.”

I let out a breath, “Ha, nope. It’s come up a few times and he always turns it down.”

I think about how quiet he’s been about work lately. He’s always quiet about it, since Lo and I can’t really know details, but I’ve been getting the impression he’s hiding something more than usual. He never told us the full story about his trip, focusing on the scare with the pregnancy and his medical treatment. I got the impression he was still in the States though, which surprised me. That’s all I know. I just have this feeling that all this work Lake and Logan have been doing is building to something big, and I’m trying to prepare for that moment.

Lucy, one of the few times I have talked to her recently, asked me if I feel inferior at all because of my job. Both Lake and Logan have life-saving careers. I know this. They can make a real impact. Mine may not be like that, but I love my work and that hasn’t changed. Lo and Lake have never made my career choice feel lesser just because I don’t get phone calls at 3 am that I need to come into the office right fucking now. I still have periods where I’m extra busy and work long hours, just like they do. While my job may not physically save someone’s life, reading can have a powerful impact on a person. It can help heal someone mentally. The arts are extremely important, I’ve always believed that, and it’s a hill I’m willing to die on.

“Ev, did you hear me? Can you open the oven door for me?”

Blushing, I quickly drop my knife, that was just hovering in midair while I was lost in thought, to open the oven for my dad. “Sorry. I got lost in thought.”

Dad puts the large roaster chicken in the oven. Once he closes the oven door, he straightens up with a groan and looks at me thoughtfully. “You know I’m always here to talk if you need it.”

I can’t help it. I get the sudden urge to hug my dad, and I don’t resist it. With the exception of my “I hate everyone” preteen days, I’ve never been stingy with affection. You never know when the last time will be that you’ll get to see someone you love. I don’t want my last memory of my dad to be me refusing to hug him when I desperately need to.

With my arms wrapped around him, I rest my head on his shoulder. I don’t need to see his eyes to know he’s concerned, but he has nothing to worry about. My laugh is a little watery with emotion. “I’m fine, really. I’m just emotional. I love you, Dad. Thank you for being you.”

That doesn’t ease my dad’s concern, but he pats my back. “I love you too, Ev. Always have, even when I didn’t show it.”

“I know, Dad.”

Gods, what is going on today? When we finally pull away from each other, we’re both teary-eyed and emotional messes. I’m relieved when Dad goes back to cooking dinner and discussing the last Giant’s game. I couldn’t really care less about football, but I keep track because of Dad, and I really need a break from the deep shit for a while.

* * *

Lucy shows up before Lake and Logan, and I’m pretty happy about that. I hug her as soon as she walks in. “It’s so good to see you, Lucy-girl.”

She pouts up at me. Her lips are purple today. “Oh really? I wouldn’t know that with how I never see you anymore.”

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