Page 36 of The Surrogate Omega, Part Two

Avery kisses her. “I love you, Zo. I cannot wait to see you holding our child.”

“I love you too. I know you’re going to be an amazing dad.”

I stand awkwardly as they have their moment before Zoe turns back to me. “Alright, Uncle Lake, let’s go.”

The grin on my face is real as I walk out. I’ve been thinking of myself as an uncle for this baby, but it has never been official. Hearing Zoe say it wipes away all the annoyance and objectification I felt from the appointment. Avery opens the door, and I follow the couple out.

Three pairs of eyes fall on me as soon as I’m in sight. I’m used to River sensing my emotions, but I’m still taken aback to see Evander and Logan react the same way. By the matching concerned expressions, I know they can sense my unease. I shake my head slightly. I don’t want them to make a scene.

All three of them stay quiet until after Zoe announces I’m having a boy. They wait as she passes around ultrasound pictures and as Zoe’s parents hug me, all teary-eyed, and tell me how thankful they are for me. They wait as everyone starts spitting out names for the child, each of them getting more and more ridiculous as they go on. But once Avery announces that we’re all going to go back to a local restaurant to celebrate, my mates and my twin pounce on me.

“What the hell happened?” River snaps before either Logan or Evander have a chance.

“Nothing . . .”

“Bullshit, all three of us could sense how uncomfortable you were from out here. We had to stop Logan from breaking down the door,” Evander tells me as he hugs me tight.

I ignore the second half of that statement for now. “Really, you and Logan could sense my emotions?”

Evander sucks in his lip rings. “Yeah, it was strange. I feel like I’ve noticed it before. Like, when you come home from a long day of work and your back and feet hurt, I know you’re hurting, but I have never been able to lock down anything specific. It seemed sharper this time. I knew you weren’t ok. At first, we thought it was the baby, but River said no.”

River shrugs unapologetically. “I have more experience interpreting Lake’s feelings. He bottles them well, so it takes practice.” River eyes both Logan and Evander.

I have so many questions about this, but it’s not really the place for it. Instead, I tell them briefly how the tech made me feel as we walk to the car. I have to stop Logan from barging back into the building, but really, what could we do. It’s not like the woman did anything wrong. I just felt judged, but how do you prove that?

So, I manage to convince my overprotective mates that I’m fine, though starving, and would really like to go eat. That gets them both in gear. I rest in the back seat, where I’m more comfortable, as we drive over.

The three of us talk about things other than the ultrasound tech, and I tell them how Zoe called me Uncle Lake. As I sit there feeling the little flurrying movements of the baby as he twists and turns after his exciting afternoon, I imagine doing this again, only with our child. I still have a hard time imagining being a father, especially for a newborn, but it’s not as terrifying as it once was.

TWENTY-ONE

Evander

“Hey, Dad,” I say as I walk into his welcoming arms as soon as I step into his house.

“Hi, son. Come in, come in. I’ve missed you.”

My cheeks heat as I suck in my piercing. I missed the last two family dinners, which is something I’ve never done. Even when Logan was bogged down at work and Lake was gone, I still always showed up. But the first one Lake wasn’t feeling well at all, and I didn’t want to leave him alone, and last week was the baby shower for Zoe. I know Dad understands, but I still feel guilty. I never miss family dinners.

“Hey, don’t look like that, Ev. You know I understand.”

I follow Dad into the kitchen, where he pulls two cans of beer out of the fridge. I dip my head in thanks as I grab it from him and then follow him out onto the porch. Winter has finally broken, and spring is trying to sneak its way through. It’s still too cold to be outside for long, but jackets and the heavy blankets that Dad keeps in a basket by the sliding glass door makes it bearable for a while. For a man who’s lived in the city his entire life, Dad hates being cooped up inside, so I don’t mind dealing with the chill for a little while for him.

We sit in companionable silence for a while, just enjoying the outdoors and each other’s company. I always love that about Dad. He doesn’t need to fill the silence just because. Eventually, though, he turns toward me.

“How’s Lake feeling?”

“Better. He had a rough run with acid reflux for a few weeks, but it’s better. I think it’s because he spent a week only eating acidic fruits and eventually it caught up to him.”

Dad laughs and shakes his head. His eyes crinkle with his smile, making them nearly disappear as the wrinkles on their sides deepen. “He’s the first person I’ve been around through an entire pregnancy, so it’s interesting seeing all the little details.” He looks away, shame on his face. “I wasn’t around for much of your mom’s pregnancy with you.”

I shrug and kick his foot lightly, affectionately. “I’m gonna flip your words on you, but don’t look like that, Dad. You made some mistakes when I was younger, but you more than made up for them. You don’t have to feel guilty about it forever.”

Dad fixes me with a look. “I’m always going to feel some guilt for my behavior when you were young. Sure, I made up for it later, but you’ll never get those years back. I’ll never get a chance to be the dad you deserved from the beginning again. And while I made peace with those choices, it will always weigh on me.”

There’s not much I can say to that, so I just reach over and squeeze his knee, my silent way of telling him I love him and forgive him for anything he may have done when I was young. I forgave him a long time ago, but I’ll let him know whenever he needs to hear it.

Understanding that we need a subject change, I fish out my phone to pull out a picture I took of Lake just this morning. He’s seemed to have gained like ten pounds in a day, and clothes that fit him last week are now way too tight. “I know it’s been only a couple weeks, but Lake’s gotten so much bigger. That little boy is gonna be a strong one.”

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