Page 78 of Darkest Heart

“I noticed that,” he said without me having to explain. “What you are experiencing is your brain trying to protect you from all the trauma you have experienced. You’re dissociating.”

“I thought you weren’t a therapist,” I teased, mostly to lighten the mood. I didn’t want to think about anything heavy. In fact, I wanted to think of nothing right now.

“I told you before. I am no one’s therapist. Just an observer, and friend.”

I nodded, taking another gulp of tea, then placed the cup back on its saucer. “I’m not going back to the castle. There’s nothing for me anymore.”

He sighed. “We need you. Now more than ever.”

“I don’t care about the prophecy.”

He leaned forward, placing his hands on his knees as he let out a tense breath. “Your fate will follow you wherever you go. It’s the burden of being chosen.”

“What about what I choose?” Tears almost broke through, but I held them back. “I don’t want any of this anymore. Gods be damned.”

“Olivia.”

“Don’t, please. You’re right, Azia. You are a friend. But I won’t let you or anyone else determine my choices. Me and Sebastian are leaving. I’ve already lost too much.” I pushed back against thoughts of my mom, the tea and spell helping keep those feelings away.

“What about your friends?”

“Erianna and Zach will do fine on their own. They want to stay in Sanmorte, for whatever reason. I’ll miss them, but they can visit.”

“What about your father?”

I closed my eyes, imagining him chained up in a prison cell while the world believed he was dead. Kalon could rival even Astor for the biggest coward. He couldn’t kill his brother, however, so I supposed there was some sentiment in that frigid heart of his. “I can’t save him,” I admitted, my chest growing heavier by the second. “If he’s still alive,” I added, my stomach knotting. “I’m not a savior, and I don’t want to be. Sanmorte can go to hell.”

“It will,” Azia warned. “Whether or not you leave, the prophecy will come true. You will bring death to all vampires.”

All vampires meant Sebastian, too.

“Then what does it matter?”

“I believe if you stay, you can change the timeline. You’ve murdered no one. You heart is not dark.”

My eyes widened as the realization set in. “Was that a part of the prophecy?”

“Yes.”

Goosebumps spread over my skin, and suddenly, my appetite was gone. I wanted to curl up into a ball and die. I had killed the boy.

“What else is a part of the prophecy?”

“That you’ll become queen.”

“Good.” I swallowed hard. “Then I relinquish my crown and I’ll be on my way. Problem solved.”

“Abdication does not exist.” He stood, pacing the room. “Not here. If Kalon or another kills our king, you will become queen. Wherever you are in the world, the title will follow you. Kalon will hunt you and Sebastian for the rest of your lives. As long as you live, he’ll never truly be king. The gods will not bequeath him anything. You can’t escape this. Salenia will find you too. She’s here, that I am certain, and I would bet she is close to the king or Kalon. She wanted to ascend the throne before.”

I was a fly, trapped in the center of a massive web with spiders crawling at me from all directions. “Why does she want the crown? What does she care about Sanmorte?”

“I’m not sure, which is why we need you.”

“I don’t want to be near Kalon!” I snapped. “Or Astor, Gwen, Velda, or any of the fucking vampires at court. To hell with them all.”

“You are giving them all the power, but you know what actual power is?” He leaned in closer. “Healing. Deciding you are worth more than their actions. You will always feel the effects of what they did, from what you saw and felt. But you are no victim, Olivia. You are a victor, and if you don’t believe that, then I can’t help you. Your father needs you, too.”

“It’s not fair.”

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