Page 63 of Beautiful Desire

Hmm, that’s odd. There are only a couple of people who have direct access and don’t need to be buzzed up. Glancing at the clock on my wall, I see it’s seven-fifteen a.m. Pulling my robe tight around my body, I make my way over to the front door and look through the peephole.

Swinging it open, I’m met with a bright eyed petite Italian goddess – a.k.a., my best friend, Gia. Holding Nico in one arm with two plastic Starbucks cups and a small brown bag dangling in the other, she gives me the biggest smile while making a show of what she’s holding.

“G, I love you, but what the hell are you doing here? Especially this early in the morning? You hate being up early?” I peek my head around her, looking for my cute little godson, but I’m met with an empty hallway and an entirely too perky Gia.

Pushing her way past me into my apartment, she sets the coffee and bag on my kitchen counter, but not before she takes a big swig on her own.

“Why, hello to you too, bitch,” she says while winking at me. “I’m here because I thought you could use my help this morning. You sounded off on the phone last night and I knew you’d be up all night worrying about whatever is on your mind. It’s no secret I was never a morning person, but after having Nico and doing feedings throughout the night and waking up with him early in the morning, my body just gets up on its own. And of course, I couldn’t come empty-handed.”

She holds her arm out in the direction of the coffees.

“I’m fine, G. You really didn’t need to come all this way just to check in on me,” I tell her as I reach for my coffee and take a long sip. “But I won’t ever say no to you bringing me caffeine and treats.”

“Bitch, please. Yes, I did. You forget I know you or something,” she spits back at me, Nico perched on her hip while she rolls her eyes before lifting her cup and chugging it.

“How many of these did you have already today?”

Ignoring my question, she waves her hand in the air as adon’t worry about it.

“Shall we talk about what’s gotten your panties all up in a bunch last night, causing you to lose your beauty sleep? Which might take some effort to fix today,” she says on a chuckle.

Bitch.

“I think you can guess,” I reply, because I really don’t want to tell her.

I love Gia, but ever since she and Fabi worked things out and told each other how they felt, she’s even more of a hopeless romantic and thinks everyone belongs together. She has hearts in her eyes and can’t see that sometimes two people just shouldn’t be together. Or in this case, can’t.

“Oh, I can definitely guess, but it’s more fun when you just tell me,” she says, raising a brow and waiting for me to start talking.

I stare down at my coffee for a few seconds, gathering the courage to tell her.

“Ugh, fine.” I exaggerate my movements as I plop my ass down on the stool by my island. Resting my elbows on the counter and my face in my hands, I sigh heavily before I speak. “It’s Dom.”

As soon as I say his name, she’s pinning me with a knowing smirk.

“I knew it! Tell me everything! Did you kiss? Make out? What base did you get to?” She gets really close before whispering, “Did you pretend to screw up and have him punish you by bending you over his desk and fucking you within an inch of your life so you’ll never screw up again?”

She’s panting when she finally finishes. Placing both hands on her shoulders, I gently push her out of my personal space and grab her coffee, dragging it away from her.

“That’s enough of that for you.”

“Can’t blame me for being curious. You’ve told me absolutelynothingfrom when you guys hooked up at Peter’s wedding, and I’m still a little sketchy on your story about Fabi and I’s wedding too. I’mdyinghere. I tell you everything about me and Fabi. Tit for tat, bitch. Tit. For. Tat,” she replies, rolling her eyes.

“That’s because I respect my partner’s personal life, G.”

“HA! Since when? You always would tell me about your one-night stands. You’d rate them and even tell me their dick size. There have been two times you didn’t tell me. You and Dom at Peter’s wedding and the rando you slept with when we got back from Italy.”

I can feel my body get hot under her intense gaze. As she squints at me, I try not to crack under the pressure. Praying she can’t see what I am sure is bright red cheeks, I take a deep breath, choosing my next words carefully. Sticking to the same story I’ve always given her.

“I’ve told you a million times, G. The reason I didn’t tell you about Dom was because I didn’t know his name. As soon as I saw him at your house and found out he was Fabi’s friend, I wasn’t going to give you all the dirty details. I doubt your husband would want you knowing specifics about his friend’s dick. My drunk hookup at your wedding was just that. A drunk hookup. If I remembered anything, I would tell you, but the truth is I’m a little embarrassed about the fact that I’m twenty-seven years old and still hooking up with random dudes whose names I don’t even know.”

I look down at my hands, because I hate the fact that I just lied to my best friend about that hookup. One day, I’ll tell her it was Dom, but I know her. If she knew, she’d make a big deal out of it and would have our wedding all planned out by lunch.

There’s a lot at stake now. So much has happened in the past year. I’m not the same girl I was. I’m more responsible now and honestly haven’t slept with anyone else since our night in Italy. It’s not that I’m saving myself for him, or for Mr. Right. I just never wanted to. That trip changed me in more ways than I even knew at the time. Some ways good, and some ways bad. I used to be the life of the party, but now I can’t stay up past eight-thirty and have no desire to go out for drinks or to meet anyone.

Setting her coffee down, she reaches her arm across the counter and squeezes my hand. “I know. I’m sorry I brought it up. I think it might have been the three espressos I had on my way over here that made me blurt all that out.”

I can’t help it; I lean forward and laugh. Probably harder and longer than I should, but damn, does it feel good to laugh. Picking my head up, I wipe at the corner of my eyes. Looking at the time, I notice it’s now seven-thirty and I still haven’t showered or gotten ready yet. Pushing away from the counter, I stand with my coffee.

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