Page 84 of Beautiful Desire

Regardless of the reason why, a smile so bright it would make the sun envious spreads across my face, and as much as I know it shouldn’t, it makes me happy.

I hear my work phone ringing and walk out of his office and over to my desk. I look down and check the number calling before I answer.

“Yes, Beth?” I answer before she can get a word in.

“I need a girls’ night,” is her only reply.

Ugh, great. How am I going to get out of this one?

“You can’t bail on me this time, Elle. It’s been forever since we’ve had drinks after work. We didn’t even have one to celebrate you coming back to work a few weeks ago. Come on, please?” She sings theplease,sounding like a child begging for their parents to buy them their latest favorite toy.

“I don’t know, Beth. Things have been kind of hectic for me since I got back. I’m still trying to find my flow.”

I feel awful lying to her, but I know if I tell Beth about Lily, the whole building will know by the end of the day, never mind just our office. And I can’t have Dom finding out about Lily. Not like that.

She lets out an exasperated huff before thankfully changing the subject.

“Where do you want to go for lunch?” The disappointment is evident in her tone.

I will give in someday to one of her girls’ nights, just not right now. We pick one of our usual spots not too far from the office and agree to meet at the elevators at one p.m.

Hanging up, I look around to make sure nobody is there. Pulling the iPad out of my purse, I take one more glance at the nanny cam on the screen. Lily is sound asleep in her crib while Melinda is cleaning the kitchen. Contentment fills me as I put it away.

All those days when I didn’t think I could do it, when I didn’t know if I would ever be a good enough mom, and here I am. Back to my old job, working to support myself and my daughter, hiring a nanny to watch Lily while I work.

I roll my shoulders back as I sit tall and proud in my chair for having gotten to this stage on my own. I’m in a good mood today, and it’s going to take a lot to change that.

CHAPTER25

ELLE

I’ve never beena morning person, but this morning, I feel like a whole new woman. Lily slept amazingly last night, and I finally got a full night’s sleep. Since it’s a beautiful day out and the sun is shining, I’m getting us ready to go for a walk around the park before going to the Morettis’ house later for dinner.

I go through her diaper bag, making sure I’ve packed everything I might need and then throw in her little pink elephant. I grab my favorite pair of Chanel sunglasses and prop them on top of my head, then throw my cell into the diaper bag. Strapping Lily into her stroller, I grab my keys and open the apartment door, locking it behind me and throwing my keys in the front pocket of the bag.

We walk down the hallway toward the elevator, and I press the call button. As we wait for it to arrive, Lily begins to fuss.

Not already, baby girl. Come on.

I try gently rocking the stroller, but it doesn’t work. The elevator doors open, and I push the stroller in and rummage through the diaper bag as we make our way down. Finally, just before the doors open, I find her pacifier. When I put it in her mouth, she happily begins sucking. I take out her pink elephant and place it beside her, hoping it, too, will soothe her.

Once we get out of the building, I flip my sunglasses down to cover my eyes and walk up the street in the direction of the park. I see a coffee truck up ahead, and even though I should be watching my figure since I’m still carrying around some extra pregnancy weight, I decide to get one anyway. I stop and order a frozen caramel latte, along with a triple chocolate brownie because, well, I deserve it. After all, I did grow a human inside my body for almost nine months, nourishing her as my own body decayed and changed. Despite the fact that I look different, and the reflection no longer resembles what I used to see, I’m learning to love my new body all over again, because it gave me her. It gave me the greatest gift of all, and for that, my body deserves for me to cut it some slack.

As I wait for my order, I look down at Lily and see she’s finally drifted off for her nap. Thankfully, I don’t have to wait too long. Grabbing my coffee, I take a long pull before setting it in the cup holder. I place the bag with the brownie under the stroller and continue on our way.

Standing at the corner of the sidewalk, I wait with the rest of the crowd for the white person to appear on the crosswalk sign. The red hand disappears, and we all begin to walk, but I feel the person beside me standing a little too close for comfort.

I keep my head focused on the far side of the road while trying to sneak a look out of the corner of my eye. It’s no use; all I can see is that it’s a man. Lily fusses a little, and I gently rock the stroller.

“Miss Parker, is that you?” says the man in my personal space.

Turning my head to see who it is, I’m surprised when I look up and see the guy from Dom’s office a couple of weeks ago.

“Oh, hi…” I say, hoping his name will come to my head.

Shit, what’s his name?

“Nero, Dominic’s cousin,” he replies with a smile on his face, still standing a little too close for my liking.

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