Page 14 of Illuminated

I wanted to take off my jacket, sure that I would faint with breathless need soon, but his hands stilled mine.

“No. You’ll get cold. Leave that on.” I had no idea what he was talking about; I felt hot and ready to catch flame.

Then, he left my swollen lips alone to caress my neck with his tongue, let his hands glide under my clothing and over my belly.

I was not, by nature, the type of person who worked out much, but I moved a lot for the job, or had, before the pandemic. As such, I wasn’t proudly muscular, probably soft where some would have preferred something firmer. That made his touch such a relief. I could feel his hand come to rest on my belly, could feel his fingers splay on the soft skin and trace the movement of breath inside me. I don’t know why, but the possessiveness of that brought a fog to my head I’d never felt before. Maybe it was that he showed me he accepted me, in just that simple gesture.

His gentle massaging, his touching and his kissing through the layers of fabric I was wearing were enough to make me squirm. I pressed against him, coiled my fingers in his hair, in his flawless jacket, and whispered a low, breathy, “Please.”

But that was not enough, so I buried my arms under his jacket, felt the strength of his body against mine, pulled him closer. I moaned when his mouth on my neck opened, and he let me feel his teeth. Just the unfulfilled promise of their sharpness chased shivers down my spine, brought me to groan and melt against him.

He pulled me toward him finally, and almost as if this were a dance, he spun me and pushed me up against a wall. I could barely see now, just outlines, but I felt and heard him get my jeans open, finally. He pulled them down, and my boxers along with them. I thought he would take me in hand again, like this, and I wanted him to, but instead, his head went down, and his tongue licked over my slit, savoring the precum.

If I’d thought he was good at just touching, then he was… well, his mouth knew even more tricks that -- to date -- I had not been subjected to. Delicious suction, the barest trace of teeth ghosting over my foreskin, and then the way he kissed my cockhead gently before going right back to swallowing me to the hilt, it was something else. My head rolled back. My eyes fell shut. I whispered pleas at him, combed my fingers through his hair, all until I could hold on no more and thrust into his mouth.

If that bothered Auris, he didn’t show it. He continued what he was doing, and while I was feeling quite spoiled, I could tell without a doubt that he was the one in control, savoring and tasting not just me, but my responses, my reactions, my quirks, whatever those were.

And I liked that.

“Auris,” I whispered to the night.

As if his name had been the magic word he had been waiting for, the character of the blowjob changed, and from that change, I was definitely sure that he’d been studying my body while pleasuring me. It took him what felt like less than a minute of swallowing me deep and tightening his throat around me, of pulling almost all the way off and suckling my head before repeating before I came undone.

I didn’t scream, but any sound, any mindless, needy noise between a sigh and a moan, would have felt loud in these dark woods. When he pulled off, I added a whimper, not quite sure why.

He pulled my pants back up, put me back in order, much like he had done in the bathroom. Then he straightened and held me close while I was still catching my breath, our bodies close in that deep comfort after the rush of orgasm.

“My Ethan,” he whispered, his lips fluttering against my temple.

There was no need for a response. Auris held me, and I held on to him, unwilling to break the physical contact. I struggled for breath and balance. He gave me the latter while allowing me time to find the former.

“What about you?” I said after a while.

“About me?”

“You didn’t get off.”

His inhale made the skin at the side of my face tingle. “I didn’t do this to get off, as you put it. You liked it?”

I waited for a beat before answering. “Yeah, I liked it.”

“Good. Then that’s what I wanted out of it. Do you mind if I kiss you?”

No one had ever been considerate enough to ask after blowing me. I liked him for it, liked him a lot. In the back of the reasoning part of my brain, I knew that didn’t and shouldn’t weigh as heavily as those dead priests, but then again… then again, it sort of did. To me.

“Kiss me,” I said, my head already tipping back to meet him.

Our lips brushed together softly, hot breath mingling.

When we broke apart, I leaned back against the wall, looked around the dark building that was mostly shadow. “Again,” I whispered, then realized I was potentially asking for another blowjob. “Kiss me, again,” I clarified. My voice felt tiny and unreal in this place so far removed from the world.

Auris pulled me into his arms and did as I had asked. I sagged against him, ready to collapse, fall asleep finally.

“We should go back,” he said. “I can take you here another time, if you want.”

It took a second before it sank in. That was a promise of the future. I hadn’t even considered the possibility of that, of watching the sun rise and set again, of seeing him another day. This night had seemed like the kind of thing that happens, and all nights after, it would simply be a thing that had happened like any cherished memory of the past. This night, it had seemed like something outside of reality, more like a dream. As if it were a limited resource, like the final bite of a favorite pie. I had never considered it might not end. Words stuck in my throat.

“What I said upset you,” he said, pulled my face up even though I could barely see him. “I’m just not sure why. Would you like to tell me?”

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