Page 62 of Ever After

“She was flirting with me and trying to hook up. She would grab my collared shirt to tug me closer to her. I yanked her hands off of me too many times to count. When she saw my ring, she would say she could make me feel better than my wife could ever make me feel.”

“What made you not sleep with her then, but in Hawaii you did? And how the hell did you two end up in Hawaii together?” I kind of already know the answer. She was trying to get Jay back,blah blah blah. I want to hear what he has to say.

Aiden puts his hands up and says, “I swear to God I did not know she was in Hawaii. Since that night I have not spoken to her. I don’t know what got into me in Hawaii. I was drunk and upset and went to another bar to cool down, and I ran into her. She was alone and recognized me. I’ve tried to replay that night over and over in my head to understand why I did this with her. When I met her in Vegas, I thought she was nasty. I can’t come up with a reason I chose to hook up with her in Hawaii. I wasn’t thinking. I can’t say it was because I was drunk, because I know that isn’t an excuse. I was drunk in Vegas, and I chose not to do anything with her.”

I get up from the couch and walk toward the kitchen. “How did you turn her down in Vegas?” I reach up into the cupboards and grab a wine glass. Aiden hasn’t answered me. Turning back around to see why he stopped talking, and he has his eyes on me. “Keep talking,” I say.

“Why do you need wine?”

“Do you not hear the story that is coming out of you?” Looking at him straight in the face. “I need wine.”

He shakes his head, agreeing with me, and turns back around. “I walked away from her in Vegas. Half my friends stayed because I couldn’t get them out of there. I was sick of babysitting, anyway. A few of the guys and I left, leaving everyone else behind.”

This time, with a glass of wine in hand, I sat right back down in the same position I was in. “I hope the guys that left were the married ones.” Silence fills the room as I wait for an answer. An answer doesn’t come. “It’s none of my business to get into that. Why did you think bringing her to our hotel room was a good idea? Didn’t she have a hotel room to go to?”

“She said it was an unexpected trip, and she didn’t have a room yet,” he says with his fingers up in quotations, quoting what she said.

I sigh in frustration. “I guess I’m trying to understand what happened. This isn’t like you. Like you said, you walked away from a bad situation in Vegas. I’ve always trusted you and never expected this from you.”

“I don’t know. I have tried hundreds of times to figure out what came over me. We were going through a hard time, but I loved you. I still do. That’s why it’s taken me so long to sign these papers and talk to you about it. I thought if I figured out why and explained it to you, you would still want to work things out,” he says, putting his head down into his hands. “I know now that will never happen. That’s why I kept trying to win you back and do things that would remind us of our past. Bringing our love back to each other is what I was trying to do. I was selfish for holding onto you. I know you don’t deserve what I put you through.”

The warmth of the wine rushes down my throat and through my body as I take a sip. The feeling that usually calms me from a good glass of wine never comes. Disappointment hits and I take a bigger sip.

“You know, everything that you were doing to bring our love back is what I needed from you for us to work out. I was getting nothing from you when I kept trying. That’s why I resorted to a therapist. I thought that would help you realize what I needed. I was exhausted and couldn’t do anymore.”

He raises his head and looks at me with sadness in his eyes. “I knew what you needed. I knew what you were doing. I didn’t want to put in the work. I was selfish and thought you would never leave me. It was a dick move on my end.”

I shake my head, not knowing what to say. All this time, he knew. My vision is getting blurry. Wetness is filling my eyes. I turn away and take a sip of my wine to stop the tears from falling. After a few minutes, I turn back around to face him and say, “The guy you saw at the bar was Lindsee’s ex-fiancé.”

He lifts his head a little higher. His eyebrows scrunch together so hard it looks like he’s going to have an aneurysm. “What the fuck?”

“Yes, I know. I was shocked when I found out, too.” I explain everything to him. From the very second I walked out of our hotel room in Hawaii until the day at the bar. I thought I was going to get a lot of heat from him but he sat and listened through it all.

After a few hours of us talking about everything, I scoot a little closer to Aiden. Our thighs are touching. He doesn’t move. It doesn’t seem to bother him either. It’s the comfort of going through this together. I reach over to the coffee table and grab the papers. Slowly bring them back to Aiden, I place them on his legs. He looks down at them like I set down a pile of bricks onto his legs. His body is frozen. He reaches over and grabs a pen that’s been lying next to the papers this whole time. His hands are shaking. He slowly goes through and signs all the papers to end this. Once he’s done, we both looked up at each other, tears welling up in both of our eyes. A single tear rolls down his cheek. I feel my throat closing. Tears stream down my face as Aiden leans a little closer to me and wraps his arms around me. I bury my face in his chest and we both sit and cry.

We both know this is over. This is really the ending for us. Everything that we once shared is going to become a memory and not the life we live. I sob from both the memories and the pain. I wrap my arms around him, bringing us even closer together. A whimper comes out of him. The heaviness in my chest makes it harder to breathe. I never wanted him to hurt like this. I never wanted to hurt like this. It pains me to see what a short amount of time can damage seven years.

Our happily ever after is over.

My stomach isin knots as I step onto the plane and get seated in my assigned seat. The water I drank feels like it’s about to come back up. Luckily, my nerves have stopped me from eating or I’d be heaving all over this plane. I do not know what I’m doing, but I keep stepping one foot in front of the other. Out of nowhere, I bought a flight to Texas. It’s been a few months since I talked to Jay. I miss him. Trying to push him away was what I thought was best for us both. Maybe I was wrong. He’s the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think of when I go to bed. I lost my best friend. My other half. He makes me feel whole.

He hasn’t attempted to contact me for the past few months, either. I don’t blame him. I had a chance at love again and I threw it away.

When I get there, I don't know what to expect. He could be dating someone else. I hope he’s not. I understand if he is, though. So many thoughts are running through my head. It’s hard to think straight. I lay back and try to fall asleep.

The plane finally lands, and I get up and head out. The bag carrier is in front of me as I walk past it and head out the exit. I only packed a small carry-on. I wasn’t sure how this was going to turn out or how long I would be down here. My Uber arrives, and I get in and we head over to Jay’s house.

We pull up to the house. “You expecting someone to be home?” The Uber driver asks as I get out of the car. “Are you sure you want me to drop you off here?”

“Yes. I’ll be fine. Thank you,” I say.

The Uber driver gives me a nod and drives away. My soul is going to shake right out of my body for how nervous I am. I get to the front door and all the lights are off. It doesn’t look like he’s home. I set my bag down and ring the doorbell. I wait a few minutes and knock. No answer. Jay must not be home. I can’t call him. I tried this morning and my number is still blocked. Even if I could call him, that might give him a chance to not come home. As I sit on the porch waiting for him to come home, I pull out my phone and start searching for hotels. I’m not sure what will happen or if he will want me to stay, so I search for hotels in case.

A few hours have gone by and there’s still no sign of Jay. I finally decide to call Alex but there’s been no lights on at his house all evening either. Maybe they’re together or he knows where he is. The phone starts ringing, and Alex picks up. “Hello?”

“Hey, Alex. How have you been?”

“Good. Is everything okay?”

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