Page 41 of Ever After

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave you here alone while I’m sleeping.”

“Lilah, what do you think I’m going to do?”

There are many things I could say but I’m too tired to argue with him. “Okay, just make sure you lock up when you leave.” I give him a slight smile and say, “Thank you for dinner.” I turn around and head for my bed.

I’m lying in bed checking my phone. Jay texted me, letting me know he got home. All I sent was a smiley face back. Should I tell Jay I had dinner with Aiden? I wonder if he’ll get upset. We decided to talk as friends for now, so why should it matter? It’s not like I’m with him. But then I got upset when Lindsee was at his house. I keep tossing and turning, deciding if I should tell him or not. Sleep must have taken me over because the next thing I know, I’m waking up with Aiden right next to me.

“Aiden!” I move him with my arms. “Wake up.” He turns over and looks at me.

“What?”

I hurry and get out of bed to find my bra. I don’t want my boobs bouncing around in front of him.

“What do you mean, what? What are you doing?”

“Sleeping, until you woke me up.” He turns his whole body around and looks at me.

“You aren’t supposed to be here. Why didn’t you go home?” Aiden gets out of bed with only his boxers on. Oh, great, and his morning wood. That he doesn’t seem to care to hide.

“Relax. It’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before.” He reaches down and grabs his pants and starts putting them on. He tucks his boner into his pants and zips and buttons them up. Fuck. Why am I looking?

“Do you see something you like?” He winks at me.

“No. Aiden, you should have gone home. It doesn’t matter if we slept in the same bed before, it’s not the same as it once was. You slept with someone else. I don’t want to sleep next to you after that.” Turning around, I search for leggings in my dresser. I sleep in short shorts and a tank top and I feel so exposed right now in front of him.

“We had such a great night last night. Why are you acting like this?” I turn around and look at him.

“You think one candlelit dinner is going to make me forget everything? Do you think after everything, I’m only worth one dinner for me to forgive you? Sometimes I question what happened to you. Your thought process isn’t the same anymore as it once was. I shouldn’t have even eaten dinner with you, but I did. Now you do this and think everything is fine.” I shut the door to the bathroom, take my pajama shorts off, and put my leggings on. I can't believe what he is doing. After everything, he thinks that’s all he has to do. We never even talked about our marriage over dinner. How did he think I would be over it?

He’s still sitting on the bed when I walk back into the room. “Why haven’t you left?”

He gets up from the bed. “You know this is my house, too. It’s not just yours. If I want to sleep in my bed with my wife, then I will. I see nothing wrong with that.”

“You just proved my point. You see nothing wrong with anything you do. Did you see anything wrong when you slept with someone else?”

“If we’re going to get past this, you need to get over that.”

What the fuck. “There is nothing to get over or get past. We are done. There will never be an us again. It killed me seeing you sleep with another woman. Now you want me to get past it after one dinner? I told you I’m through. We should have been done with each other a long time ago. But we didn’t and now the damage is worse than before.”

Aiden looks at me, confused. I roll my head back and sigh and let my body fall on the bed. Aiden turns and looks down at me.

“You think we should have ended our marriage sooner?”

“Don’t you? Nothing was going good. We were seeing a therapist and only because I wanted it. You didn’t even care to work on our marriage. And now you’re surprised by all this. I don’t get it.”

Hearing his footsteps in the distance, I lean up on my elbows and see his back toward me. The front door shuts, and I let out a sigh of relief.

My head hasn't quit spinningsince finding Aiden in bed with me after he made me dinner. I feel my life hasn’t quit spiraling more out of control after finding Aiden in bed with another woman. And then to find out that the other woman is Jay’s ex. I can’t catch a break and my head keeps rolling around like a bowling ball that doesn’t want to hit the pins.

I hate to even think this but getting back to work after these past few days has been a godsend. Getting wrapped up in two men has made it hard for me to adjust. I thought I would come home and have an easy out with Aiden since he’s the one who slept with someone else. I was wrong. Never in a million years did I think he thought we would work this out or him trying to work it out. He couldn’t work it out when we were married, but when he knows he messed up, he puts forth the effort.

The dinner brought up a lot of memories that I wish we would have kept going. It would have kept our marriage going. Those are the memories I miss the most. Those are the memories I mourn. It’s not so much the loss of our marriage, but the memories we had that held us together that made our marriage. I knew we could get that back when we started therapy. If we both worked at it. It was possible to get back to where we were the happiest together. Or at least, I hope.

I miss the Aiden that he used to be. The Aiden that pulled me toward him like a magnet. I couldn’t wait to spend every minute with him when we first met. He was the first person I talked to in the morning and the last person I talked to at night. He was so irresistible to me. Every time I wasn’t with him, I couldn’t wait till the next minute Icouldbe with him. I would count down the days and the hours to hear his voice, feel his touch, and see his face glow when he saw me. I don’t know how or when everything changed, but it did. Now I have to mourn the loss of a marriage I thought I would be in forever.

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