Jay walks in and freezes. “Why are you packing?”
“I don’t belong here, Jay. I should have never come. It’s obvious you have unfinished business and so do I. This situation isn’t something I should have kept going.”
Jay grabs my hands and pulls me to him. He wipes my tears. “I knew the situation you were in. It’s not all on you.”
I turn away from him and continue folding my clothes.
He grabs my hands softly. “Stop. You’re not leaving.”
I pull my hands away from him, not wanting to look at him. “It’s best if I go. I was leaving in a few days, anyway.”
“I still want to spend those few days with you here. I don’t want you to leave.”
I fix my eyes on him as I say, “Are you hiding something from me? Why would you care if Lindsee saw me here or not?”
“Don’t do this.”
“Do what? You know what, I’m not even in the right situation myself to be asking that question. I was blinded and got cheated on. I’m stupid for falling for you, and I would be stupid if I stayed,” I say.
“Lilah don’t go. She means nothing to me. There is no way I would get back with her after what she did to me and now you.”
Tears stream down my face again. “I can’t do this. Someone has already hurt me. I need time for myself, and you deserve to find someone who’s not in the mess I’m in.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m still married, Jay. You don’t deserve that.” A notification comes through my phone letting me know my Uber is here.
Jay stops me from opening the front door. He looks me in the eye. “Please don’t do this. Don’t leave on bad terms.”
“Jay let her go if she doesn’t want to stay,” Lindsee says.
I’m surprised she’s still here. I thought she left. Jay is too nice to throw her out. I’m sure he would never do that, and she knows it, so she’s taking advantage of getting him to talk to her.
“I’m not leaving on bad terms. You deserve better, and I need to figure out my shit. You need to figure this situation out, too.”
“That’s bullshit.”
I want him to. This past week and a half has been so good. He made me feel more than I’ve ever felt with someone. I have to let him go. He deserves more, and I need time.
I step up on my toes and kiss Jay on the lips. “It’s not our time yet.” As I get into the car, I look up at the porch where Jay is still standing. The driver drives away, and I realize this might be the last time I will ever see him. I turn my head and look away before the distance makes him disappear.
As I’m waitingto board the plane, I text my mom and let her know when I’ll be landing and ask if she can pick me up. I pull out the book I picked up at Target and try to get some reading in. Ten minutes later I look up and can’t even remember what I’ve read. There is too much on my mind, and even the book can’t distract me.
My whole body trembles as mountains come into view. The closer we get to landing, the more jittery I become. I can’t avoid this situation forever.
My mom is waving me down as I walk outside the airport. I walk over and she gives me a hug. She grabs my suitcase from me and puts it in her back seat. We haven’t said a word to each other yet. I’m too exhausted to talk. What do I even say? I made a fool out of myself.
She looks over at me. “Are you going to tell me where you have been?”
I sigh. “It’s a long story. I don’t have the energy to talk about it.”
“You look sad and hurt. Nothing bad happened. Did it?”
“No.”Unless you’re talking about Aiden cheating on me and finding out the guy I met and started falling for was engaged to the whore Aiden slept with.No, I’m not hurt. I don’t even know what to feel right now.
“Do you want to talk about Aiden and what you are going to do?”
“I’m divorcing him, Mom.” I stare out the window, watching cars drive past us. She’s driving slower than usual, to get more out of me before we get to my house.