Page 21 of Ever After

“I’m on my feet a lot already with work so that does keep me pretty active. When I have time, I like to hit the gym.”

We finally make it to the top of the mountain. There is this cement-looking box with graffiti all over it. Now I see why they call it a pillbox. I guess you could consider this a pillbox. I read on Google that it used to be military bunkers.

Jay steps up onto the box and reaches his hand out to mine. “Grab my hand.” I reach my hand up, and he pulls me up like I weigh nothing. After I steady myself, I look out. I gasp at how beautiful it is. You can see the rocks in the blue water. There are so many people in the ocean, but up here they look like tiny ants. We walk over to the edge and hang our feet off the sides. The breeze up here feels nice.

“This is beautiful,” I say to Jay. I’m in awe right now. I turn to Jay and ask, “Is this your first time in Hawaii?”

“Yes. Is it yours?”

“Yes. I never expected it to be so breathtaking. I knew it was beautiful, but not like this.” I grab my phone and take a few pictures. The ocean is in the background as I take a selfie, and it makes me happy that I’ll get to remember this moment every time I look at the photo.

“Jay, get in this one?” He doesn’t hesitate and turns around. I snap a few of us together. Stupid Aiden is missing out. This would have been perfect to rekindle our marriage. I get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it. My emotions are everywhere once again. One minute I’m fine, then I’m pissed, and then sick. Jay must sense how I’m feeling because he wraps his arm around me.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

I look at him and smile. “Yes, just thinking.” There is a silent pause before Jay speaks again.

“If there is anything you want to talk about, I’m here.” He must have thought I would say more. He knows not to push; he’s never made me talk when I haven’t wanted to.

An hour passes by, and we head back down. We both allow silence to linger between us as we walk, and it isn’t ever even a little uncomfortable. Jay gives me the space I need to think. I did little thinking because I was worried about slipping down the hill. Downhill is easier to walk than uphill, but it’s also easier to slip.

Once we get back to the car, we head over to check out Lanikai Beach, which the hike overlooked. The neighborhood we drive through to get there is beautiful. Trees and bushes surround the houses, making it more secluded and somehow even more alluring.

As we walk down to the beach, the sun is setting, and families are packing up to go. A lot of couples are standing on the beach and watching the sunset together. Some are sitting on blankets with a bottle of wine and hors d’oeuvres. It’s super romantic. It makes me happy for them to be in that place of their relationship, even if I’m a little sad for myself—and for Jay, too.

“I should have been a little more romantic, huh,” Jay says. He’s probably seeing all the couples together as well.

Laughing I say, “No, it’s okay, it’s not like you’re trying to be with me.” We stop and find a spot and sit down.

“Maybe I am.”

My heart beats faster and the hairs on my skin stick up with goosebumps. I don’t know what to say to that. Silence spread across my lips. WhatcanI say? I don’t even look at him. I sit and stare out at the ocean in silence while trying to gather my thoughts.

Natural light shinesthrough the cracks of the blinds the next morning. I’m lying on my side, and there is a heaviness wrapping around my waist. Still half asleep, I move my ass a little back to see what it is. I bump into something hard. What could that be? I rotate my hips in circles, trying to figure out what that hard thing is. The heaviness around my waist pulls me closer. I open my eyes a little, but the sleepiness takes over and my eyes shut again. The hard thing behind me moves in circles now, matching my movements. My ass and hips are moving in sync with this thing. My breathing becomes a little heavier. I’m getting turned on. Why am I getting turned on? I hear breathing behind me get a little heavier. My clit is pulsing, aching to be touched. I drag one of my hands down to my clit and start a circular motion. The circular motions behind me speed up. I’m having a wet dream. This is how wet dreams feel? They feel like the real thing.

I open my eyes a little more and look around in front of me. The light from the day is shining right at me. I’m a little more coherent now, and I freeze. I swear it feels like both my heart and breathing stop. My circular motions end on impulse, and the heaviness around my waist is Jay’s arm wrapped around me. He’s spooning me. The hard thing behind my ass is his cock.Holy shit! He’s having a wet dream.We were having one together. I stay still, unsure of what to do. Do I stop him or let him finish? If I let him finish, he will be so embarrassed. He’ll be embarrassed either way. I know I am. How would I stop him, though? He'll wake up if I move as if I'm still asleep. I rack my mind, contemplating what to do. Then suddenly, every inch of him stiffens and the motions stop. Did he finish or wake up? I felt nothing wet.

I turn around to look at him, and I see his eyes wide, like I caught him robbing a bank. Jay pulls his arm off me and lies on his back.

“Were you awake this whole time?” he says.

“Kind of.” He has his arm over his eyes as I look over at him. I contemplate if I should tell him I was doing the same thing before I woke up, so he’s not the only one embarrassed. I was the one who was caught fantasizing about him and touching myself. What more can I do to humiliate myself? At least he doesn’t know it was him I was fantasizing about.

I reach over to take his arm down from his face. “Jay. Don’t be embarrassed.” He cuts me off before I can finish.

“This is embarrassing. I’m sorry. I can’t believe that happened. It’s never happened before.” That makes me feel better. I’m the first person he’s done this to. He’s the first person I’ve done this to. We have so much sexual tension built up for each other it was bound to happen sometime.

“I was doing the same thing to you when I woke up and realized.” Jay turns his head toward me and looks at me. I turn to look over at him. I can’t help but laugh. We both don’t know how to act in this moment. Should I crack a joke to end the silence?

“If you want some private time, just let me know. There is no shame about masturbating.” He cracks up laughing and throws his arm over his face again.

“Touché,” he says, laughing shyly.

It’s our last night in Hawaii, and we both have early flights. While we pack our stuff, we stay in and order room service. We haven’t spoken about where we go from here. We’ve both been unusually quiet today. I’m assuming it’s because neither of us knows how to bring up going back to normal life. I’m happy Jay asked me to stay with him. I don’t know what I would have done if I were here alone; I probably would’ve just moped around and felt sorry for myself.

“How are you feeling with everything, knowing you’re about to go home?” Jays asks.

“I don’t want to face all of this. I know I have to, but it would be nice for more time to pretend like none of this is really happening.” This past week flew by so fast. It’s been nice being with Jay. It has lifted some weight off my shoulders while being here. I guess you never know how much someone is dragging you down until they’re not around anymore. Things happen for a reason. This is something I had to go through to realize how unhappy I’ve been.

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