Page 55 of Deceiver

I close my eyes, begging for the higher power above, over and over, to let this be a nightmare. I’m wrong about it, I have to be. I’m just overreacting, probably getting way ahead of myself. Stress will do all kinds of things to a person, and I’ve been through a lot of it lately. I’m just panicking about nothing. When I flip this test over, it’ll say negative. It will because that wouldn’t happen to me.

It couldn’t.

It has been four minutes.

Should I check now?

Maybe I should?

The packet says five minutes.

Does it really matter?

God, this can’t be happening. I’m late for my period, and I’m never late, but I’m also never quite this stressed.

Heart racing, I watch the timer count down.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

It has been five minutes.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I turn the test over.

A loud cry rips from my throat as I stare at the + symbol. There is no missing it, it’s clear as day, right there on the tiny little screen.

Tears burst forth and roll down my cheeks.

I’m pregnant.

I’m pregnant with Western’s baby.

My tears turn into hysterical sobs as I stare at the test, praying it’ll just disappear but it doesn’t. It stays right there, taunting me, reminding me that no matter what I do now, he’s always going to be in my life.

The past few days have been hell on earth. I’ve been hurting so badly about the choice I made to not see him anymore. To end whatever pathetic attempt at a relationship we had. I chose to let myself hurt and let myself move on. I’ve cried more than I’d like to admit, but I’ve been strong. I’ve avoided calls, texts, I even managed to sit by the door as he pounded on it, demanding I let him in.

I’ve been strong until now.

Crying hard, I reach for my phone. I need someone to talk to. I need someone here. This is too much for me to process right now.

I dial Luna.

She answers on the second ring, and the moment she hears my hysterical sobs, she immediately tells me she’ll be right there. I don’t even need to say a single word and she knows I need her, that’s the kind of friend she has become. Forcing myself to leave the bathroom, test in hand, I go out and wait for Luna to arrive.

She does, only ten minutes later.

She bursts through the front door, her eyes wide, ready to take down whatever has hurt me. Her eyes scan my face and then settle on the test in my hand, and she knows, she knows even without me saying one single thing. Her shoulders drop and she rushes over, throwing her arms around me. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“This can’t be happening to me,” I cry. “Not with everything. Not with ... him.”

“I know, I know. Shhh.”

She hangs onto me until my sobbing turns into soft hiccups, and then she leads me over to the sofa and sits me down, facing me, her hands curling around mine. “Does he know?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“That’s okay. That choice is yours to make. Right now, all you need to do is process. After that, you need to go to a doctor and have them confirm this. Then, you decide what you’re going to do. One step at a time, and however long it takes you to get through each step is entirely up to you. Nobody can force this.”

“I can’t have a baby with him, Luna. I can’t. I ... I’m so damned hurt. He has broken me. He’s ... not a good man.”

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