Page 32 of Lavender and Lust

I cast each of them a seething glare before returning my attention to Noah. I already know what he’s going to ask me. With his regular visits to the diner and the flowers on Valentine’s Day, it’s clear where this is headed. But rather than feeling excitement at the prospect of being asked out by Noah Campbell, all I feel is an overwhelming sense of guilt tugging at my insides, not just for him but for the man in the kitchen behind me.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner sometime?” he asks with hope shimmering in his deep-brown eyes.

“I… um,” I stammer, my throat suddenly feeling like it’s closing up and making it hard to breathe.

A loud bang erupts from behind me, followed by the distinct clank of something hitting the floor. Glancing down, I spot the bell from the ledge rolling along the floor, the smooth dome-shaped completely disfigured like someone has taken to it with a hammer.

Whipping my head around, I spot Owen with his hands gripping the ledge of the pass-through, his knuckles turning a deadly shade of white as he glares at Noah like he’s about two seconds away from launching himself through the window and ripping his face off with his bare hands.

“Order for table twelve,” Owen snarls over the plate of pancakes sitting in front of him as his eyes stay trained on Noah like a mountain lion ready to pounce on an enemy who’s just encroached on its turf.

Noah squares his shoulders and puffs up his chest, meeting Owen’s challenging stare with one of his own.

“I’ve got it,” Charlotte chimes in, rushing over and collecting the two plates of pancakes off the ledge. Her eyes flit between Owen and Noah before landing on mine and silently pleading with me to do something. Feeling the tension between them starting to build at a rapid rate, I quickly spring into action and round the counter.

“Noah, can we talk outside?” I say, gripping hold of his bicep and giving it a tug. Owen’s eyes dart to my hand, and his nostrils flare, making me pull on Noah’s arm harder in a desperate attempt to get him out of there before all hell breaks loose.

“Sure, beautiful,” Noah says, his face softening as he looks down at me, then he casts Owen one last look before following me out the door.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, the sting of the cold winter air makes goose bumps erupt along my skin, and hugging my chest, I rub my hands along my arms, attempting to generate some heat.

“Here, take this,” Noah says, quickly removing his jacket and draping it over my shoulders.

“Thanks,” I say with a warm smile, pulling the lapels shut to keep in the warmth.

Feeling the weight of several pairs of eyes on us all at once, I glance through the window to the diner and notice the inquisitive stares from nearly everyone seated inside, and the sight makes my jaw tic.

Why can’t they just mind their own damn business?

“Let’s head over this way.” I gesture to the shop next door, then cut my eyes back to the window and throw everyone a chastising look before we disappear from their line of sight.

Stopping a few feet from the sign outside the butcher shop, I close my eyes as an overwhelming sense of sadness weighs heavily upon me.

I like Noah. I really do, and a week ago, I would’ve jumped at the chance to go on a date with him. But now everything has changed. And the truth is, even though there is an attraction there, he doesn’t make my heart zing or set my blood on fire the way Owen does.

And Noah deserves better than that. He deserves someone who’s all in. Not someone who has their foot lodged in another door.

Taking a deep, steady breath, I gather my strength and turn to face Noah, prepared to do what must be done. But when my eyes meet his, the hope that was shining in his brown eyes a moment ago has dimmed with a resounding sadness that thickens my throat.

“You’re going to turn me down, aren’t you?” he murmurs.

I give him a regretful look. There is no easy way to do this, and there’s no way of sugarcoating it.

Rejection stings. And I have nothing to really offer him other than my honesty. “I’m so sorry, Noah,” I say solemnly, and I genuinely mean every word.

Noah Campbell truly is one hell of a catch. He’s gorgeous, successful, and has a bright future in front of him. He has so much to offer, and I have no doubt that whoever he ends up with will be the happiest girl alive. But unfortunately, that girl isn’t going to be me.

“Is it because of him?” He gestures his head toward the diner, and I don’t need to ask who he’s referring to. The Mexican standoff between them a moment ago was proof enough that something was going on there, but what that is exactly is still very much up in the air.

“It’s—” I pause and swallow hard, actively searching for a way to explain something I don’t completely understand myself. “It’s complicated.”

His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard before nodding and giving me a sad smile. “Well, I hope he knows what a lucky guy he is.”

Emotion wells in my chest. He’s talking like Owen’s already won. But the truth is that I’ve lost. I have no idea if things between Owen and me are fractured beyond repair. And until I figure out a way to somehow make things right or get some form of closure on everything, I will never be able to find a way to move forward.

Shrugging my shoulders out of his jacket, I hand it over to him with a warm smile. “You’re going to make some girl really happy one day, Noah Campbell, and she’s going to make you happy too.”

He takes the jacket from my outstretched hand and gives me a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll see you around, Mackenzie.”

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