Page 2 of Vodka And Virtue

“Is that code for something? Help me out here with the translation. I’m gay. Never have I had a guy text me to tell me we need to talk. They text me when they want to fuck. That’s it.”

“Thank you for that riveting glimpse into your sex life, but I could have done without it. Thank God you’re in a committed relationship now so I can stop worrying about you.”

Carson smiled. “Aww. You worry about me? That’s kinda sweet. So what does she want to talk about?”

“Haven’t a clue. She said she’d stop by the bar tonight.”

“The girl dumps you, ghosts you for two months, and thentellsyou she’s coming by your work instead of asking? If I were you, I’d tell her ‘Thanks, but no thanks, stay home.’”

“Trust me, I’m tempted to.”

He paused at a red light and glanced my way. “So, what’s stopping you?”

“I don’t know. Curiosity, I guess? I just can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. It’s always the same story, different girl. I’m not enough of…something. Not demonstrative enough. Not affectionate enough. Not dominant enough, nor attentive, sacrificing, jovial… you name it, I’m lacking.”

Carson frowned, and I could tell he was getting fired up. “You don’t lack shit! I’ve seen you do all those things. I mean, I don’t follow you around on dates and stuff, but you’re like, the best guy I know. Besides Ryan, of course. You’re a total catch. I think you’re just choosing trashy chicks.”

“Thanks.” I chuckled at his fierce loyalty. It was nothing less than what I expected from him. “But you always stick up for me. You're my brother.”

“Doesn’t matter. If you were a dick, I’d tell you you’re a dick. If you were a liar and a cheat, I’d say you got what you deserved. But you’re none of those things.”

I blew out a frustrated breath. “It’s insanity. I keep doing the same thing, over and over, expecting a different result. I’m smarter than this. I just can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. I’d hoped maybe by talking to Susannah tonight, it might give me some insight as to where I’m screwing up.”

“Maybe that’s what your problem is. You keep doing the same thing over and over. Why not try something new?”

“I don’t follow.”

He made a left turn into Ryan’s gated community and swiped his key card to gain entry. “You told me years ago you were attracted to guys, but I’ve never seen you date one. Always girls. And always the same type of girl. Obviously, that’s where you’re going wrong. I think you have a type, but it’s not working for you. Maybe you should try dating someone opposite of your type.”

“A guy? Is that what you’re saying?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just saying it can’t hurt to expand your horizons. Explore new territories. Be open to new possibilities.”

“You make me sound like Lewis and Clark, exploring the wild frontier. If the gay dating scene is that fraught with peril, you can keep it,” I teased.

“Trust me, I’d take any one of my ex hook ups over your dimple-chin chick.”

“Susannah.”

“Yeah, whatever. All I’m saying is, if she comes by to start some shit tonight, I’m gonna have Rory toss her out on her ass.”

That actually sounded wholly appealing. Thinking of the new bouncer, less so. Something about the way he stared at me set me on edge.

“What’s that face for?”

“Have you noticed anything…off…about that guy?”

“Who? Rory? No, why? Has he said or done something to make you uncomfortable?”

“Not particularly. It’s the way he watches me. Makes me feel like a bug under a microscope. He doesn’t do that to you?”

Carson frowned as we pulled up to the curb in front of Ryan’s high-rise condo. Ryan jumped in the backseat and leaned forward to pop a kiss on my brother’s lips.

“Hey, guys. Thanks for picking me up.” When no one immediately responded, his eyes traveled back-and-forth between me and Carson. “I’m sensing a vibe. What’s up?”

Carson pulled away from the curb, meeting Ryan’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. “We’re talking about Rory, the new bouncer. Carly says Rory gives him weird looks.”

“Weird how? Is he sizing you up or judging you?”

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