Page 51 of Vodka And Virtue

We arrived at the hospital in a flurry of activity. They pushed my gurney into a waiting bay in the ER, relayed my vital statistics to the nurses, transferred me to a bed, and packed up their gear and disappeared. The whole thing took maybe two minutes. Carlisle never left my side. The nurses surrounded me, relegating him to the background, but still within my line of sight. His presence calmed me. Just knowing he was here kept me sane.

They poked, prodded, and x-rayed me, and within an hour, I was stitched up and recovering in my own hospital room. The knife had sunk three inches deep but had missed all my major arteries and organs. A clean cut.

The nurse set me up with a blood transfusion to replace all that I had lost, along with another bag of saline. The loss of blood combined with the adrenaline crash and the pain meds was making me woozy. Carlisle had dimmed the lights so I could try and rest. He was perched on the side of my bed, holding my hand, stroking my fingers and tracing the lines etched into my palm.

“Are you reading my fortune?”

“Don’t need to. I already know you’re going to live a long and happy life. As long as you stay away from the sharp end of someone’s knife,” he scolded.

“As long as you’re a part of it, I promise it will be long and happy.”

Carlisle swallowed, looking choked up. “I was really scared for you. And Kelley, but mostly you. I keep telling myself that I don’t feel what I feel. That if I keep you at arm’s length, I can take things slow and not make a fool of myself or have my heart broken. But tonight, I realized I was only fooling myself. I care very much about you, and I would be a total wreck right now if something worse had happened to you.”

His beautiful green eyes grew misty, and he pressed his lips to my palm. “We aren’t guaranteed an infinite amount of minutes or hours or days in our lives. Each one is a gift. I don’t want to lose another one with you.”

“What are you saying? I feel a little high right now, so you’re gonna have to spell it out for me, baby.”

He smiled, sniffling, and said, “No more going slow. We go at the pace that feels good for us. I don’t care what anyone else says. My family can tease me all they like. I’m so grateful to have found someone that makes me happy, and I’m not going to deny myself that happiness out of cowardice or caution.”

“Carly, come here, sweetness.”

Gingerly, he laid against my good side, resting his head on my chest. I wrapped my good arm, the one without the IV, around his back, and pressed my lips to his head.

“I don’t know how or why you think I’m good enough for you, but I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. You realize I’m never letting you go, right?”

He chuckled and then sighed, like he was fully settling into me, letting go of his burdens. The worry and the fear he carried all night. The concerns and questions that had plagued him since we started seeing each other. It sounded like he let it all go on his exhale of breath. He felt lighter in my arms, and I squeezed him tighter.

And then a crowd of unwanted visitors came crashing through the door, ruining the peaceful bliss I had found with him. Shannon, Gordy, Carson and Ryan, even Graham and Kelley, filed into my tiny room, crowding around my bed. They carried balloons and flowers, and all kinds of things to wish me well. And every single thing was pink. Pastel pink, hot pink, bubblegum pink, every shade you could think of.

“Is someone having a baby girl?” I asked, my voice sounding more gruff than it ever had.

Graham stepped forward, holding out his bouquet. “Nah, I don’t know any pregnant women. I told the guys this was your favorite color.” He smirked. They all snickered. They knew damn well it wasn’t my favorite color. But I was glad to see they were trying to make light of a bad situation instead of bringing all of their negative emotions into the room with them.

Graham cleared his throat. “All kidding aside. You kept all my boys safe tonight. You went way above and beyond the duties of your job. I am forever in your debt.”

“Knock it off with that bullshit. You’re my best friend. And your boys matter to me.”Especially Carlisle, I left unsaid. “I would’ve done it for anyone, let alone my best friend. You would’ve done the same thing.”

“You can drink free at my bar for the rest of your life,” Shannon said.

“I’ll even make you my meatloaf,” Gordy added. Shannon glared at him.

“When you get out of here, I have an entire batch of cupcakes waiting for you,” Ryan promised.

My nurse poked her head in the room to let us know visiting hours were winding down.

“Come on, Carly, say goodbye. I’ll drive you home,” Carson offered.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here until they discharge him.”

My heart fluttered. His words sent a thrill through me.

Carson frowned. “He’s surrounded by healthcare workers. All he has to do is push the call button and they’ll come running.”

Carlisle picked up the plastic remote with the red button that was stashed under my pillow and tossed it on the floor behind the bed. “It's broken. He needs me.”

If my head and my body hadn’t felt so altered, I probably would have gotten hard under the thin, cotton blanket. It was selfish of me, but I desperately wanted him to stay by my side. Not because I needed him physically, but because Iwantedhim there, playing the role of the concerned partner I dreamed of having him fulfill. Hours of uninterrupted conversation and quality time together, where we could get to know each other better. More of him sitting on my bed, holding my hand, stroking the hair from my forehead, tracing the tattoos on my arms.

Graham laid his hand on Carson’s shoulder. “Let it be, Carson. We’ll come back and check on them tomorrow.”

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