Page 1 of A Hero in Hiding

CHAPTERONE

LANDON

“Hey, August… would you still love me if I accidentally, hypothetically threw a reporter into the river?” I ask as I hold the phone against my ear so I can talk to the world’s… no, the universe’s best human alive while the world’s best cat stands at my feet watching the splashing man.

“Uh… I guess it depends. If it was truly an accident, did you help him out of the river?”

I look over at the man splashing around in the river yelling something like “Help me! I’m so goddamn annoying that even Hell doesn’t want me!”

“No… I haven’t… I mean, hypothetical me has not assisted the man at all, much like when I told him to get the camera out of my face and he refused to… I mean hypothetically,” I say.

“So… let me get this straight… when a reporter annoyed you, you used your telekinesis to chuck him into the river?” August asks.

“Hypothetically, that is correct.”

“Uh-huh… um… I guess just as long as others don’t see and he doesn’t drown, I’m sure it’s fine.”

I look over at the other reporters snapping pictures of me as well as the man in the river. They’re getting a good angle of both of us as I stand watching my victim. “So… throw the other reporters in too? Got it.”

I aim my hand at the reporters and watch just how quickly they put their cameras away. One even whistles a cheery tune as he hurries over to his vehicle.

“Maybe… we don’t throw them in,” August says as I use my telekinesis to lift the only reporter who thought that it was worth it to stay.

“You sure?” I ask. “I mean, he’s already in the air.”

“Positive. Put him down.”

I shrug. “I mean… I guess dropping him would be a good warning as well.”

“Wait, before you drop him, how high in the air is he?” August asks.

I glance up at the man. “How high do you want him to be?”

“Not high,” the reporter cries.

“He said he wants to be super high,” I say.

“I think three inches is a good threat.”

I grumble because I’m positive three inches is not a good threat atall,but I dump him anyway before I head off. “Well, that was no fun.” Zacia (officially known as Balzac), my sphynx who is currently decked out in a T-shirt with one of those green alien heads on it that says “I wanna probe you,” meows at me. I’m pretty sure when I ordered the shirt the listing said “I wanna love you,” but this is better in my opinion.

“Did you get the guy out of the river?” August asks.

I stop walking and look over my shoulder. “I totally forgot about him.”

“Landon!”

I hurry over to the edge of the bridge and see that he’s doing a perfectly fine job of removing himself from the river, and I debate tossing him back in. Eh, it’s already taken up plenty of my time, so I resume walking.

“I thought you had class today,” August says.

“Oh, that stupid thing Valerie wanted me to attend about how to properly act in public? Yeah, I skipped that. I am not interested in being a hero. I amnota hero. You can do your little hero stuff and I will guard your ass and—”

“Oh shit, I just got an alert that there’s a robbery in progress,” August says. “Can you help?”

“Angrily,” I say with a grumble as I turn back to the wet reporter who is glowering at me. “Hey, pencil dick, I need you to drive me to a robbery.”

“I’m not…” He must see the fury in my eyes because he nods and hurries over to his car. He even opens the passenger door for me like a kind gentleman.

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