Page 104 of A Shot of Pretty Poison

She sighs. “No, your sister wasnotadopted.”

“Dammit,” I joke. “But in all seriousness, can I? It’s about a touchy subject.”

Looking away from the TV, she focuses all her attention on me. “What is it?”

I take a deep breath, knowing the wounds I may open have never been easy for her to heal from. They cut her straight down to the core, and it took a while before she was even remotely okay. But she got there, and that’s how I knew I would too, eventually.

Until she came back.

“If Dad were to have come back after he left us, would you have taken him back?”

She goes quiet, and if I couldn’t see her, I’d be worried I hurt her by bringing him up. But I can tell by the look on her face, she’s really putting thought into the question.

After a couple minutes, she looks at me with nothing but resolve all over her face. “Yes. I would have.”

“Because of Devin and me?”

“No,” she says, a sad smile appearing on her face. “Because before he started drinking, he was the love of my life. I would’ve gone through anything to make that work.”

“Really?” I’m honestly a little surprised. “Even after he walked out on us? Wouldn’t you be afraid he was going to do it again?”

She shrugs. “Well, sure. I’m human, and that’s a very valid fear. But his absence is something I still feel to this day. It fades, but it never fully goes away, even knowing he’s not with us anymore. Losing a love like that leaves an emptiness behind, and no matter how hard you try to fill it or what you try to fill it with, you can’t. It’s a bottomless pit in the center of your heart, formed perfectly in the shape of them.”

Pausing, she takes a breath and looks up at the ceiling. When she looks at me again, I know she is physically feeling the pain of every word she says.

“I would’ve much rather dealt with the fear of losing him again than the emptiness of not having him at all.”

My head drops and I stare down at my lap. Everything she just said resonates with all the emotions I feel each day. But one thing I hadn’t thought about was the last part.

This whole time, I’ve been wondering if I’ll ever be able to trust her again. To be able to sleep without waking up in a panic just because she rolled over. But I never stopped to ask myself if I could handle not having her again. Because that’s my only other alternative.

If we don’t get through this, that’s the end of us.

And that pain is just as bad as the fear that wakes me up at night.

Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place. It feels like no matter what I do, I lose. All I’ve wanted is to be able to go back to before she left. Before she took our perfect little bubble and popped it so she could walk out and leave me behind.

“Hayes,” Mom says softly. My eyes meet hers and she gives me a small smile. “Laiken isn’t your father.”

“No, but she left the same way he did.”

She sighs and nods once. “Okay, I’ll give you that one. The similarities are there. But you’re forgetting the biggest difference between the two of them.”

My brows furrow as I look at her. “What’s that?”

“Your father’s biggest love was the bottle,” she says. “But Laiken’s isyou.”

I WALK OUT OFthe nursing home with a little more clarity than I had before. When it comes down to it, there are only two options I have in front of me. And it’s not matter of if I can try to let her back in again—it’s if I can handle losing her again.

Before I put the car in drive, I check my phone and find a missed call from my realtor. I press the button to call her back and put it on speaker as I start to drive toward the Blanchard’s for dinner.

“Hayes!” she answers excitedly after the second ring. “I have some great news that I think will make you really happy.”

I’m more focused on looking both ways at the stop sign than I am her words. “I like great news. What is it?”

“Do you remember that couple who offered you twenty grand below asking?”

“Yeah. I turned them down.”

---