Page 124 of A Dose of Pretty Poison

I can’t.

I don’t want to.

I SIT AT THEisland, staring at the three words she wrote and spinning the ring around my finger—as if somehow that’s going to bring her back. Like if I look at it long enough, I’ll realize it’s not actually there. That I hallucinated it, or this is all just a nightmare I haven’t woken up from. But it hasn’t happened yet.

I’m so lost in my thoughts I don’t even hear as Cam walks in.

“What’s up, dude?” he asks.

I open my mouth to say the words, but nothing comes out. It’s as if I can’t seem to admit it out loud, because then it’ll be real. Then, I can’t deny it anymore. But as Cam says my name, sounding concerned, I know I have no choice.

“She’s gone,” I choke out.

His head jolts slightly. “What?”

“Laiken,” I specify, hating the way her name feels like poison on my tongue. “She’s gone.”

Cam snorts. “No, she’s not. Don’t be so dramatic.”

He takes out his phone and goes to call her, and I don’t even try to stop him, because when it goes straight to voicemail just like it did the twenty-seven times that I’ve tried to call her, he realizes it for himself.

“What the fuck?” He tries again but gets the same outcome.

I drop the ring onto the back of the picture and slide it across the island to him. “She left me this.”

Cam’s face looks like a mix between concerned and shocked as he realizes the note was written on the back of our wedding photo. “I don’t get it. Why would she leave?”

I don’t have the answer, not for certain anyway, but there’s only one reason that comes to mind. Exhaling, I run my fingers through my hair and blink up at the ceiling.

“She thinks I shot Monty on purpose.”

Okay, now we can add a little anger to the mix of his emotions. “Shewhat? Why the hell wouldn’t you just tell her the truth?”

“Don’t,” I tell him.

His eyes are getting wider by the second. “But you—”

“Stop!” I roar. “We’re not talking about it! I know what I did! It’s done! Just leave it alone!”

It’s not like I haven’t thought about it since the moment I realized she was gone. That she walked out and left me. But the truth is, the choice I made the moment tragedy struck that night is one I wouldn’t change. Even if I could go back and know what I know now, that’s one decision I would make over again.

And nothing he says is going to change that.

The front door opens, and both our heads whip toward it, hoping it’s Laiken and she’s changed her mind, but instead, Mali walks in. When she sees the look on our faces, she freezes.

“What’s going on?”

Cam and I glance at each other, both thinking the same exact thing.

If she didn’t tell Mali what she was planning, there can only be one reason for it.

She’s fucking gone and has no intentions of coming back.

---