Page 55 of Exposed

Matt paused mid-sip.

I grabbed the glass from him. “Matt, Iloveit,” I whispered. “I love you.”

“I’m never going to grow tired of hearing you say that.”

“Well get used to it. I can’t believe you did all this for me. You’re amazing.”

“I really wish I could kiss you right now.”

I wanted that too. But I had no idea how I’d explain that to Jacob. I’d told Matt last night that he couldn’t spend the night. So instead we’d snuggled on the couch. I’d fallen asleep in his arms. Wasn’t that the same as him spending the night?

Matt looked over his shoulder to make sure Jacob was preoccupied with his trucks. And then he cupped my face in his hand. “I mean…we are three weeks into this thing.” He gestured to the roses.

He was ridiculous. “I forgot that you’re used to always having your way.” I leaned toward him like I was going to kiss him. And switched direction halfway, leaning over to smell the roses.

He groaned. “Dirty move, baby.”

“Shush with that.” I swatted his arm.

He pulled my hand off his forearm and intertwined his fingers with mine.

And we just stood there smiling at each other, holding hands behind the kitchen island. I wasn’t staring at our hands though. I couldn’t keep my eyes off his six-pack abs.

“Are you checking me out?” he asked.

“No. Psh. I was looking at the flowers.” I tried to focus on the vases instead of him. “Thank you. For three weeks’ worth.”

“I’ll keep bringing them until you give me what I want.”

“And what exactly do you want?”

“What I’ve always wanted. You.” He looked over at Jacob and squeezed my hand. “I want to be part of your family, Brooklyn. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms.”

I wanted that too. But I stayed quiet. I still needed to tell him that I wasn’t sure I could have more kids. And even if I could get pregnant…I was terrified of having another miscarriage. Miller said he was happy just the three of us. I wasn’t sure if Matt would feel the same. He wanted four kids. We’d talked about it. We’d talked about everything.

I needed to tell him. Because he’d already wasted 16 years on me. I didn’t want to waste any more of his time if Jacob and I weren’t enough for him. He deserved the truth. But still, I stayed silent. It was selfish but I wanted just a little more of him before he realized I couldn’t give him the life he wanted. I forgot how much love could hurt sometimes.

“There is one more thing,” Matt said.

“How did you have time to do anything else?”

“I may have had some help with this. Are you up for a drive?”

Honestly, I’d go anywhere with him.

***

Matt smiled over at me as he drove. I think he would have been smiling at me either way. But it was definitely bigger because I was wearing his varsity jacket. I’d grabbed it at the last minute. And now that I had it on, I never wanted to take it off.

It was stupid, but when I stared at him staring at me, it felt like no time at all had passed. And that he’d just given me this jacket. That we were still at Empire High together, frozen in time.

I looked into the back seat at Jacob.

“Are we there yet?” Jacob asked.

“Not yet,” Matt said.

“Where are we going?”

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