Page 6 of Exposed

It felt like a knife in my chest. “Brooklyn said that?”

Kennedy nodded.

Brooklyn definitely wasn’t the same girl I used to know. The Brooklyn I loved wasn’t…heartless. It was like she didn’t care about me at all. Had she ever?

“Victory is ours!” Nigel yelled. “We vanquished the foe!” He ran past us, storming the field with the players.

I turned to see them all celebrating. Jefferson was in the middle of the chaos. I’d done what I’d set out to do. Jefferson fit in. He looked so happy.

And I felt…nothing.

Brooklyn was married to another man. And she didn’t care that I was seeing Kennedy. I looked back up at the stands at my supposed friends.

I wished I was still angry. But I really did feel nothing. I was numb to everything around me. And everyone.

“I’m so sorry,” Kennedy said.

I looked down at her. “I know. Me too.”

She nodded.

I stared at her face. And I thought about what Tanner had asked me. Could I see myself marrying Kennedy? Having children with her? Even though I was still in love with someone else?

For a little while, I thought the answer was yes. But when I saw Brooklyn running down the stands? When for just a few minutes I’d held her in my arms again? I’d remembered what love felt like. Real love. I’d forgotten how all-consuming it was.

I felt a tear run down my cheek.

“Matt,” Kennedy said.

I wiped my face. I loved Kennedy. But not like I loved Brooklyn. I’d never be able to give Kennedy my whole heart. Because it was still with someone else.

And the worst part was that I knew what I needed to do. I had to break up with Kennedy. And I knew it meant I’d be alone. Forever. I was still in love with Brooklyn. But she was married to someone else. She didn’t want a future with me. I felt more alone than ever.

I pulled Kennedy into a hug and rested my chin on the top of her head. Why couldn’t I love her more? Why couldn’t I love her most? Why wasn’t my heart big enough to move on like Brooklyn had? Why was I the only one that had to be miserable?

Kennedy hugged me back.

“I adore you,” I said. “I do love you. I just…”

“I know.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “But you’re notinlove with me. I tried to tell you.” She laughed, but it sounded forced.

“Yeah, I guess you did.” She really had tried to tell me. While still being loyal to Brooklyn’s wishes.

“It was really nice being loved for a few days there,” she said.

“Kennedy…”

“It’s fine, Matt.” She pulled back. “I knew as soon as Brooklyn got back that the two of you would get back together. It was always meant to be the two of you. Always.” She pressed her lips together like she was trying to force herself not to cry.

Did she not know that Brooklyn was married? There was no me and Brooklyn. I’d slipped up in the auditorium, but only because I didn’t know. If we were always meant to be, she wouldn’t have married someone else. She wouldn’t have disappeared for 16 years. She would have cared about me. But she didn’t. “Well, I don’t know about any of that. But I really am sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Really, Matt. I think maybe you liking me helped heal my heart a little, you know? I haven’t let anyone in since high school. I’ve been so closed off and you…you kind of…fixed me.”

I smiled. I’d wanted to help her. I’d wanted to help her because I couldn’t help Brooklyn all those years ago. Who knew that Brooklyn hadn’t even wanted my help? I’d been torturing myself for so long. And she…she was busy loving someone else.

And I was choosing to be miserable. Brooklyn wasn’t mine anymore. And Kennedy deserved so much better than me.

Everyone was still cheering all around me. And I wasn’t a part of it. I’d never get to be a part of that happiness.

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