Page 101 of Exposed

“I’m sorry, it’s not…this isn’t coming out right. I’m…I…” she pressed her lips together.

I rounded the counter to be closer to her. “Just tell me.” But I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. She wanted lots of kids withhim. Which meant…Fuck.“Are you pregnant? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” I wanted to be happy for her, but I really felt like I was going to be sick.

She shook her head.

I couldn’t help it, I breathed a sigh of relief. I did love Jacob. He was impossible not to love. But it would have been really hard to wait around for nine months, watching another man’s baby grow in my girl’s stomach. Knowing it should have been mine. Knowing that I’d have to wait.

“No,” she said. She stood up a little straighter and looked me right in the eye. “I…I don’t think I can have any more kids, Matt.”

I don’t know what I’d been expecting, but I hadn’t expected her to say that. “What do you mean you don’tthinkyou can?”

“I tried to get pregnant again. And I had a miscarriage. It was…it was really hard for me.” She started blinking away tears. “It’s really hard for me to talk about…”

I pulled her into my arms. “It’s okay.” It wasn’t. I hated seeing her cry. I ran my hand up and down her back. “That won’t happen again here. We can go to the best doctors. We can…”

“It wasn’t anything we did wrong.” She pushed against my chest so she could take a step back from me. “I’m a good mom, Matt.”

That wasn’t what I’d meant. Not even in the slightest.

“We had access to good doctors…”

“I didn’t say you did anything wrong. That wasn’t what I meant. You’re a great mom, Brooklyn. I know that. You’re so great with Jacob.”

She wiped away her tears. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, blocking herself from me. “You don’t understand.” She closed herself off even more when she took a step back from me.

I didn’t understand. I had no idea what losing a baby would feel like. But I couldn’t understand if she wouldn’t talk to me. “Are you scared to try again? Is that what you’re saying?”

“It broke me. I’m still broken. And I’ve tried so many times since then. The tests are always negative. Every month. My heart can’t take it anymore. I can’t…” She shook her head. “I can’t do it anymore. By body won’t do it.”

It didn’t sound like she couldn’t. It sounded liked she didn’t want to try. “So you don’t want any more kids?”

“Ican’thave any more kids.”

“That’s not what I asked, Brooklyn. Do youwantmore kids?”With me?

“Of course I want more. All I want in the whole world is to fill our house with kids. I wanted that back when I was 16. I want it all with you.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do. We can go to specialists. We can…”

“Matt, that’s not what I need from you right now.”

“Then what do you need from me?” I closed the distance between us and wiped her tears away with my thumbs.

“I need you to tell me that I’m enough. That Jacob and I are enough for you to be happy. That you’ll be happy even if it’s just the three of us.”

I stared down at her. It wasn’t going to be just the three of us. We both wanted a house full of kids, so it was going to happen. I’d make sure of it.

She took a step back from me. “I think it’s best if you go. I’ve already confused Jacob enough. I can’t do this to him.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to respond,” I said.

Brooklyn shook her head. “Yes I did. And you didn’t say anything at all.”

“I was thinking.”

“It’s okay, Matt. Really. I know you want lots of kids. And all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. I don’t even know what we’re doing. We’re not 16 anymore. Really, it’s fine.” But there were tears streaming down her face. “Seriously, please, can you just go?”

Was she insane? I took a step toward her and she closed her eyes tight.

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