Page 118 of Grace

What also separated him from me was he made no dough from his hustle. He seemed to have gotten off on creating drugs for all and getting high off his work. It was dumb as hell to me. I’d been trying to kick it with him, connect with the kid for wisdom. But my influence on him was limited to Jonathan giving me his ear just off my reputation, totally dismissing my heeding. He pushed back from the table and was headed to the kitchen when the girls had finally joined us.

“Nigga fucked me good…I’mma take his ass toB-Way Burgeeer!” Ashira appeared singing, strutting into the room with one arm in the air and her two girls behind her dancing.

Corinne shrieked, “Say what?!”

“Nigga fucked me good…I’mma take his ass toB-Way Burgeeer!” Ashira repeated.

“B-Way Burger?” the Asian girl added, striking a pose.

“Who dat?” as though performing an act, Corinne asked dramatically.

It was obvious their humor played off each other’s.

“Supreme!” Ashira twirled a three-sixty on one foot.

“To Supreme!” the two women behind Ashira came through on cue. They were all amped when reciting, “You couldn’t live out ya dreams. Father to a mass of soldiers… We stand on ya shoulders.” By this time, a few at the table had caught on and joined in. “Life don’t end ‘cause you down in the pen. Every day I breathe a free man, I’m soaring on the wings of ya sins.”

Ashira continued a cute two-step infusing her b-boy postures. She had the attention of the room and, as a dancer, was extremely comfortable in her impromptu performance.

Shit was sweet until, completing her way to the table, Ashira hit us with, “I pay homage to that gangsta, properly named SIN. Took out them Polack niggas…”

Her girls joined in with, “Missed the charges then ate the FED’s pen. Sat quiet, never a rat. Nigga ‘bout to hit the streets.”

Several at the table fell in line reciting Young Lord’s “Homage” lyrics, “Ran the cellies…now ready to spin the block… Fuck y’all niggas, jerkin industry cock!”

Then the room drew eerily quiet as Ashira sashayed to me, ending her grand entrance. Her girls found seats at the table.

“Damn,” Becky, the white girl, chirped. “Why y’all looking like you’ve seen a ghost? We’re just having fun.” She reached behind her seat and grabbed a plate to start piling on food. “And I don’t use theNword.” She rolled her eyes and flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder.

No one laughed at that well-timed joke. Adamantly, swallowing down my paranoia, I read the fucking room. Myron wore a goofy expression, eyes swinging between Ashira and me. Tanya’s eyes were big as hell as she rolled them, hiding a smile and making a dramatic show of going back to her food. Chelsea’s brows seemed to have been stuck to the ceiling, she was so uncomfortable.

Jonathan, near the buffet table by the drinks, appeared shocked, too, examining the room. Then his wonderment won over and he hooted, “Oh, shit! You know,know! You know my nigga a real thoroughbred! See, Sin. Shi-Shi and her peoples be with the shits, my nigga! She dope as hell. The whole crew, on god! Even the white girl respect ya work with them ‘Lacks!” He grabbed his crotch, laughing hard as hell.

“Oh, shit!“ Antoine quickly bought into the narrative. “Sin let her in. Shi-Shi, you cool as fuck, yo!”

Tanya slapped his meaty ass arm so hard, the sound reverberated around the room.

“Wait.” The Asian girl’s narrowed eyes got even smaller. “You’rethatSin Young Lord’s rapping about?”

Becky dropped the sausage she’d gripped with the serving fork, making a clash of it.

“The fuck?” Corinne grumbled, eyes dead on Ashira.

Fuck!

No!

My head swung up to Ashira standing over me. Her eyes communicated confusion and a demand for answers. This shit happened way too fast.God, help me. I couldn’t feel my damn lungs. My stomach felt fucking queasy like I needed to shit. I couldn’t remember the last time my heart pounded in my chest like this outside of working out or blowing one in the woman who, now, appeared just as small as she did when I’d purposely shut her out. It had been a theme since I met her. An expression I’d been indifferent to until I started catching feelings for her. Those feelings had now gotten ahead of my ass. Now, I was all in, needing her smile and happiness. The days of not giving a shit about what this girl thought of me were over. And it was in this moment that I realized not giving a shit was a barrier protecting me from the tightness in my chest growing exponentially each second I didn’t reply. I had to gain control of the moment.

C’mon, Sin. Act on it now!

“Yeah,” I answered with a straight face.

Ashira blinked. “Like…everything?”

And without thought, I snorted, schooling my demeanor, “You know niggas embellish on wax. He must’ve heard about my ammo work through street channels,” I shrugged. “and added the cinematic bloodshed shit to it.”

“You know us hood niggas fucks with them mafia movies, Shi-Shi. It was just a dope story Lord put together about Sin,” Jug helped me out.

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