Page 24 of I Hear You

“You’re welcome Madison.”

Then she’s gone. The inside of my truck feels like a void without her presence. I drive home ruminating on her words about the email I’d sent her. I knew from finding the printed out copy that the words and confessions I made meant something to her, but hearing her say out loud how she feels about them—it makes me hopeful that she has feelings for me buried somewhere. At least, feelings for Ender.

Sometimes I have trouble piecing out the parts of me that are Henry–football star, loyal friend, son–and the parts that are Ender–writer, best friend to Madison, sensitive. My only hope is to show Madison both of those parts now, so when I get the courage to tell her the secret I’ve been keeping–the consequences might not be so severe.

My phone rings, startling me out of my deep thoughts. When I answer, Coach is on the other end wondering where the hell I am.

Fuck. I’m supposed to be at practice right now.

“I’ll be there in five,” I tell him and turn around, heading back to campus.

I don’t even bother going to the locker room. My bag is in the back of the truck and I quickly change into my practice gear in the parking lot. Someone whistles when I pull my shirt over my head and start putting on my shoulder pads. I ignore them and start jogging onto the field.

“Sorry Coach–I uh, got hung up,” I say, slightly out of breath.

“Just get your ass on the field,” he says, blowing his whistle to get the team's attention.

“Dude, where the fuck were you?” Jesse asks.

Not being at practice on time is completely out of character for me, so I’m not surprised at Jesse’s curiosity. Before I put my helmet on, I give him a loaded grin and wink.

“Oh, hell yes. About time,” he says, laughing and putting on his own helmet before taking his place in the O line.

Okay, maybe alluding what I did to Jesse was wrong–but I’m just tired of him and Taylor being up my ass about dating. If he thinks I’m getting some, then maybe they’ll both leave me alone for a little while. Yes, I’m probably the only person on this football field that isn’t currently having sex. Hell, even Coach has a sex life. His wife just announced last week they’re expecting baby number two. I have my reasons for being celibate. Or I have a reason–a beautiful girl with full lips, golden brown eyes and long legs.

By the time practice is over, I’m spent. Emmett wasn’t here today and his back up just didn’t give it his all. No one is allowed to actually tackle me during practice–too much of an injury risk. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have to run a shit ton more when my tight end is basically a kid in a sandbox. No point in chewing out this guy. I’ll save my ass chewing for Emmett, who should have been here today.

“Where the hell was Emmett?” I ask Jesse as we walk out to my car.

“No clue, man. Called him the other day to see if he wanted to go grab food, but he didn’t answer and never called back.”

I’m worried about him, but I’m sure he’s just balls deep in some new girl. I pull out my phone and fire off an angry text, anyway.

Me: Got my ass handed to me at practice today. Where the hell are you?

Emmett: Sorry, had an appointment. Will be there tomorrow.

Me: What? Was the appointment with a blonde or a brunette?

Emmett: Both ;)

What an ass. I throw my gear bag in the back of my truck and my phone on the dashboard.

“Do you want a ride home?” I ask Jesse.

“Nah, I’ll walk,” he says, and heads toward his apartment.

I don’t mind giving Jesse a ride after practice. It’s less than a mile from the practice field to his apartment, but I know how dead a long practice can make you feel. Today, I’m grateful he wants to walk because I need the alone time. I’m still replaying the afternoon I spent with Mads over and over in my mind. I don’t need Jesse asking me anymore questions if he notices I can’t get out of my own head.

Chapter eleven

Madison

I’vetakenrefugeinthe library trying to get some studying done. Someone on our floor decided today was a good day to have a rave in their room. Our R.A. is out of town and they’re taking advantage of it, I guess. The repetitive music and thumping of my walls was giving me a migraine. When I’d attempted to read the same chapter for the fourth time without even understanding anything I read, I gave up and came here. The big comfy chair I found in a dim corner on the second floor has become my new temporary study lounge. For a Wednesday afternoon right before midterms, it’s unexpectedly quiet. There have only been a few students making their way through the rows of books in the hour I’ve been here, and no one else is studying on this floor.

The first six weeks of classes flew by. Summer quarter has been busier than I expected. Between taking the max amount of credits I could and working at the diner four days a week, I rarely find time for anything else. I’ve only seen Taylor a few times since the carnival. We’re on different sleep schedules, mostly. She has early morning classes and is in bed by nine most weeknights while I got stuck with midday classes and work either the 6 p.m. to midnight shift or the 6 a.m. to noon shift.

We managed to have lunch together a few times between classes, but not much else. She’s working today in the library so I stopped and said hi to her on my way in. Working in the library must be a dream and I am seriously jealous. Not that I haven’t loved working at the diner. The tips are great and Bev and Joy are wonderful to work with. Chuck, the main cook, has yet to warm up to me, but Joy says he’s just agrumpy old geezerand to not take it personally. I’m determined to make him adore me.

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