Page 69 of Stars on Fire

Once inside, she locked the door and leaned against it. Then she sunk to the floor, her back against the ancient wood.

How could she have been so stupid?

Selene recalled the bitter expression on Uba, the woman at the bar on Eden II.

Was this how she’d felt? Had she, too, read much more into the situation as Selene had?

‘Fokk!’

Selene mentally kicked herself, slapping her hand on the carpeted floor. She’d made a schoolgirl error and assumed his affection level matched hers. Granted, Kainan had not made her any promises of any future relationship, let alone forever.

She’d blurted out her feelings.

Yet it seemed that he was only after a physical connection. She’d allowed his wicked tongue, beautiful body and sweet words to lull her into a sense of security, into a fantasy where their passion meant more than a temporary sensual fix.

A lone tear streaked down her face, which she roughly wiped away.

The truth was she’d let herself get sidetracked from her mission. But no more.

She owed it to her father’s memory to get her shit together and forget trying to juggle saving a planet with chasing fanciful illusions of forever.

She stumbled to her feet and threw Kainan’s robe to the floor. She wanted nothing more to do with his scent, touch, or lovemaking.

Not now. Not ever.

Kainan

Forever.

The one word that sent him into a tailspin. One that thrust him into a whirlpool of memories.

Of a quiet, still voice that had tortuously whispered the horror of what forever truly meant into his bleeding, wounded ears.

For weeks, days and hours on end.

Until it was seared into his soul and psyche.

Memories of his past agony consumed his mind.

The recollections were always the same. He would see that face, hear its voice, and feel a wave of overwhelming anger and fury at his helplessness.

Kainan tried to push the memories away, to focus on something else. But they were always there, lurking in his mind, waiting to resurface.

For years he’d distracted himself with work, hunting raiders, art, and anything that could take his mind off the pain. But no matter what he did, the past always found a way to creep back in. He’d been in pain for as long as he could remember, and no matter how hard he tried, Kainan couldn’t escape it.

He knew he needed help but didn’t know where to turn. He felt alone and didn’t know how to escape the pain. He slumped against his bathroom wall, lost in his despair.Would he ever find a way to heal?

The familiar, heated, flaming darkness welled up in him, threatening to overflow, and he grit his teeth to quell it rather than inflict his tortured pain on Selene.

Although she’d lifted him from deep darkness for a moment, he had to protect her from himself in the long term.

He’d seen the pain in those beautiful hazel-gold eyes at his poorly worded asshole words. He’d felt it like a stab straight through his heart. He loathed the look of pure rage she’d thrown his way as she’d left.

He wanted to replace it once more with the softness he’d become accustomed to after their lovemaking, with the half-lidded passion that blazed from her very core, with the abundant joy that burst out of her during their heartfelt conversations.

But it was not meant to be. He had no right to want any of it.

Not when he couldn’t give her what she deserved.

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