Page 105 of Master of Lies

“You just trotted off to do his bidding? You didn’t care enough to fight for me?”

“I thought I was fighting for you!” he protested. “I’ve been hunting Nicole ever since I could stand. Me and the other Unredeemables. I just haven’t bagged her yet.”

“Well, good for you, for keeping busy. I would have loved to be in the loop.”

Jed shook his head, his eyes full of misery. “Sorry, Frey. I thought that I should give you breathing space. A chance to know how you feel about me, about us, without all the drama and the mortal danger and the blood.”

“Breathing room is way overrated,” I snapped.

My voice was bitchy, but for some reason, Jed smiled. “Breathe anyway.”

“Smart ass,” I snapped.

“I learned from a master,” he said, with another ghost of a smile. “I was hoping to bring you back something real, babe. Solid intel about Shane, from Nicole. Nothing less would do. So you could have a way forward, or at least, some hope of closure, you know? But over and over, I came up blank, and finally, I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to come here to you. Empty-handed or not.”

“Empty-handed?” I stared at him, incredulous. “You thought you had to bring me a gift to approach me again? What, like, a bride price? Forty cows and forty goats?”

“I guess I was hoping to prove my worth,” he admitted. “To show I can take care of you.”

“Jed, for God’s sake.” My voice was shaking. “For this bullshit I waited all alone for seven weeks? Because you needed to prove something? We’re supposed to take care of each other! I am not a fairytale princess!”

Jed put his hands up, puzzled. “Okay, got it. You’re not a princess. Received.”

“I’m not a prize to be won by being worthy! And I’m not anyone’s possession!”

“I never thought that, not in a million years. I just think you’re incredible. I’d be dead if it weren’t for you.”

“Newsflash,” I said. “Me too. So we’re even! No, actually, I’d be dead at least twice over, if not three times. So I win.”

“Fine, baby. You definitely win. And you’re not a princess. You’re a goddess.”

“Oh, stop.” My eyes were leaking, which filled up my nose.Damn.

“Try to understand me,” Jed said. “The only thing you wanted was the truth about Shane. That was your holy grail, so I tried to get it for you. Something to show for that clusterfuck we put ourselves through. I wanted to bring you that, and I failed. So here I am, with nothing to offer but myself.”

I mopped at my face with a tissue, not daring to meet his eyes. I’d fall to pieces.

“It doesn’t work that way,” I told him. “I don’t want an offering laid at my feet. Like a cat bringing me a dead bird.”

He winced. “Oh, man. Not the vibe I was going for.”

“I want someone who’ll be there for me. Who trusts me to be there for him. Someone who’s not afraid to be with me if I’m hurting, or to let me see him when he’s hurting. Someone who can hold my hand through the scary parts, and the sad parts. Someone who can be with me, for real, soul to soul. I thought I had that with you. But I guess it was just a stupid romantic fantasy.”

Jed took the tissues from my hand, and pulled one from the pack, dabbing gently at the corners of my eyes. “You’ve got everything I have,” he said quietly. “The best of me, and the worst of me, too. It’s all there. All my stupid stuff, my ugly stuff, my dark side. I can’t just snap my fingers and make it just go away. I’m not perfect.”

“I know that,” I said. “Neither am I. You’ve seen my bad stuff.”

“I know I’ll let you down and piss you off, and probably disappoint you on a regular basis,” he continued. “But on the plus side, I will love you until I die. And I will always put you first. I swear it, before God. This is the biggest, the most solemn, the most real thing I have ever felt. Before you, I didn’t even know this kind of feeling existed. You opened my eyes to a whole other world.”

I hid my face in the tissue, because it was absolutely not fit to be seen.

Then Jed reached into his jacket pocket, and pulled something out. It was delicate and small, and it flashed and glimmered as I blinked tear-blurred eyes.

“This belonged to my great-grandmother,” he said. “It’s an aquamarine. She wore it for her entire sixty-two-year marriage. Never took it off.”

I gasped at the beauty of the gorgeous little antique ring, the delicate filigree around the stone. It had a diffuse glow, like glacial water. “It’s…it’s magic.”

“My mom came to me one day when I was a teenager and gave it to me,” he said. “She said, this is for your lady, when you pick one out. She told me to hide it someplace where she could never find it and to not tell her where I put it, no matter what she said or did. She didn’t want to come back from some stupid bender and find out she’d pawned it.”