Page 59 of The Way You Are

She was everything I’d ever wanted but nothing I deserved. I was an asshole because I was going to sink into this feeling, live in the moment, and enjoy the hell out of it.

I wasn’t going to worry about my past or my future. I was in the present moment with Lily.

I couldn’t get close enough to her. It was a weird feeling—one I wasn’t used to. In the past, sex was purely a physical release. I didn’t do it to feel close to someone else or to burrow into their soul. But with Lily, it was so much more.

I wanted to experience everything. As I moved slowly inside, savoring the sensation of her walls surrounding me, a feeling of tenderness washed over me.

This woman would be my undoing, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. She owned me, not the other way around. And it felt so good.

Sitting back on my heels without breaking the connection, I attempted to create physical distance between us. I pressed her thighs wider as I searched for that spot inside her that would drive her over the edge a second time. I wanted to make this good for her, so earth shattering she’d never forget me.

I wanted to ruin her for all other men, because, as amazing as were together, both of us knew we couldn’t be more.

Every muscle in my body strained to stop my impending orgasm. I wanted her to go over first. She bit her lip as she looked up at me, so trusting, so full of emotion for me.

It hit me in the gut, making it difficult for me to draw in a deep breath. I was racing against time.

When she moaned, I knew I’d gotten the right angle. Staying in that position, I increased my tempo as I circled her clit. Her head thrashed back and forth as if it were too much.

“Come for me, Lily.”

At my words, her body tensed, and then she finally shook with her release. Fuck, it was perfect. I followed her over, wanting to be in the moment with her.

Gathering her in my arms, I shifted us so I was on my side, and she was nestled against my chest. Her hair tickled my nose, but I didn’t move her. I never wanted to be away from her again. She was necessary to my existence in some inexplicable way.

Ryan’s words from earlier came back to me. He’d said I needed and deserved a woman like Lily. I moved to pull off the condom, tied it, and threw it aside to take care of later. Brushing her hair out of her face, I moved her so she was on her back and I was propped on my elbow, gazing down at her.

“Are you okay?” It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say, but I wasn’t ready for the emotions threatening to spill out of my body.

She smiled softly, her face illuminated by the light of the moon. “Oh yeah. That was incredible.”

Was I ready for more? Was I ready to take the next step with her? I didn’t even know what that would look like.

I kissed her, pouring everything I was feeling into it. I caressed the side of her face and stroked her hair, needing her to know that this was real.

Finally, I slowed my kisses and moved to my back. She followed me, placing her head on my chest and throwing one smooth leg over mine. I’d never get enough of having her pressed against my body. Stroking her bare back, I said, “You feel good.”

She arched a brow. “You don’t do this normally, do you?”

“I’ve been with women,” I said, not understanding her question.

“You don’t cuddle after sex or stay the night.” It wasn’t a question.

“That’s true.” The words felt like sandpaper, and it didn’t sit right with me.

“But you’re different with me.” Her tone was one of curiosity.

“I am.” She was different in a way I couldn’t wrap my mind around.

A small smile hovered over her lips. “I like what we have.”

My mouth felt impossibly dry. “Me too.”

“Let’s not think too much about it. We can live in the moment and enjoy every second.” Her words were optimistic, but her expression was hesitant.

“That sounds good to me.” I swallowed over the emotion that threatened to erupt. My mind was telling me I was an idiot, but my hands pressed her closer to me.

Something akin to pleasure sparked in her eyes. Then she settled her head onto my shoulder, and I pressed a kiss to her forehead, tenderness threatening to overwhelm me.

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