Page 45 of Secretly Loving my Cowboy Best Friend

“Why is that funny?” Rachael asked, her eyes widening.

“I know you’ve figured out my feelings for Austin,” Sofi said to Rachael, who nodded. “So let me just tell you, loving someone with all your heart and then having them love you back as just a friend? It’s a special kind of torture. Don’t wish for that.”

Rachael cocked her head as she surveyed Sofi. “But he doesn’t love you as just a friend.”

Sofi looked down at her hands as she cracked her knuckles, a habit Austin was forever trying to get her to break. “He does, Rachael. We’ve been best friends for almost all of our lives and he’s never once showed the slightest inclination that he wants more.”

“Have you shown him you want more?”

Sofi looked up so fast she felt a tiny bit dizzy. “Heck no.”

“And you feel more for him,” Rachael pointed out.

“It’s not the same,” Sofi protested, even as she began to wonder if Rachael might be right. Well, hope more than wonder. Because it couldn’t be true.

“You should have seen him that night I texted him that you needed him. He came rushing like your knight in shining armor. And when he found just me, he was nice, but he was sad you weren’t there. He was there for you and only you, Sof.”

“Because he’s my best friend. And weren’t you plastered that night? How do you remember anything?” Sofi asked.

“I have a surprisingly good memory when I’m drunk. I might be out of it then, but the next morning it all comes back. Mostly it’s a curse, but in this case a blessing.”

Sofi realized that was true. She remembered other times Rachael had been completely sloshed but the next day she knew—and cringed over—what she’d done the previous night.

“Best friends don’t send each other longing looks when they think no one is watching,” Leia added from her corner.

Her too?

“He doesn’t—” Sofi began.

“I’ve seen it,” Leia interrupted.

“Me too,” Rachael agreed.

Sofi shook her head. How had this evening become about her?

“Well, it doesn’t matter what you all say. He hasn’t texted me in two weeks. If that doesn’t say he doesn’t care as much as I care about him, I don’t know what does. And anyway, we’re here for Rachael.”

“And Rachael wants to talk about you and Austin. Between that and tacos, I might be healed,” Rachael said with a shrug.

Leia grinned.

Sofi let her head fall against the back of the couch. She heard Rachael shift in her seat and when she looked over at her friend, the tacos were gone from her lap and she’d moved forward into a focused position.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m dating Bash now,” Sofi said. Her friends were getting too excited over the prospect of nothing.

“Exclusively?” Leia asked as Rachael said, “And if Austin were to show up here tonight and say he loved you, you’d tell him you were dating Bash?”

The answer was a resounding no to both questions, but Sofi remained silent for a moment.

“I can’t lose his friendship,” she finally said, cutting to the heart of the matter.

“It looks like you kind of already are, if you haven’t spoken in two weeks,” Rachael said softly.

Sofi hadn’t let herself go there. To think that their rock-solid friendship could be weakening. Austinwasstepping away from her. But it was because he loved her. That meant this time apart was only solidifying what they had, right?

Yet Sofi had never felt so distant from her best friend. Even when they had been countries apart, their bond had felt stronger than it did right now.

“But when Bash and I are in love and things are going well, Austin will come back and . . . ”

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