Page 39 of Secretly Loving my Cowboy Best Friend

“If I have to explain that to you, you’re more hopeless than I thought,” Rachael replied before getting up to join Leia at the swings.

Sofi scowled. Rachael was clearly referring to her. But did that mean she was talking about Austin? And how did Rachael know? Sofi had always been so careful with her secret and she knew for a fact she’d never told Rachael her true feelings for her best friend. Had Rachael figured them out on her own? And if Rachael had read Sofi so easily, could others see it too? She remembered Ruby’s words at the wedding.

Sofi’s heart dropped. Did Austin know? Was that the true reason he was suddenly giving her space? Had he figured out Sofi was in love with him and was now pushing her toward another man? That idea made way too much sense and she didn’t like it.

Tears began to well in Sofi’s eyes, and she hastily tried to blink them away. If Austin knew the truth . . . this was the beginning of the end. She’d always known that if the truth of her feelings ever got out, she’d drive Austin away. And where was Austin right at this moment? Away.

But maybe he’d come back? If Sofi could prove she was into Bash and was trying for a future with him, surely Austin would re-enter her life . . . wouldn’t he?

He had to. Sofi had endured just one Austin-less week and the emptiness had been almost unbearable. But forever?

No, Sofi couldn’t manage it. She’d never survive.

So she’d throw her all into this relationship with Bash. And just maybe he really could be the one to make her forget Austin. And then all would be well.

Sofi firmly squashed the one tiny part of her brain that told her just how pathetic the situation was. Austin seemed willing to throw their friendship away rather than even try dating her. If that didn’t speak his true feelings loud and clear, nothing would. Austin would never, ever love Sofi in the same way she loved him. So there was nothing to do but get over him. And soon.

Time seemed to be running out.

Seven

“Austin. Austin!”Phoenix waved a hand in front of his brother’s face.

“We’ve lost him. Two weeks without Sofi and he’s permanently zoned out,” Memphis said from his spot in front of the fridge.

Austin’s first reaction was to put Memphis in his place. Yes, Austin had zoned out, but it was absolutely not because of his separation from Sofi. Or was it? Because he realized just where his mind had been . . . reliving memories. With Sofi.

He fought the urge to rub at his chest where his heart ached. When Memphis had set this challenge, he’d known it would be hard. Sofi was his one constant. And it had been hard. Harder than Austin could have ever imagined. But what he hadn’t anticipated was just how lost he would feel. He didn’t feel like Austin when he had no Sofi. But where did that leave him? He couldn’t rely on Sofi to be his number one forever. He couldn’t give her everything she wanted, everything she deserved. Austin had only ever given half his heart at most in relationships, and he wouldn’t do that to Sofi. So he had to let her find that love she deserved from someone else. Even if it was, as Memphis pointed out, killing him slowly.

In the end, they would all be grateful. Or at least that was what Austin was telling himself.

“So you’re back here for good,” Austin said to Phoenix instead of responding to Memphis.

“Have been for over a week now, bro,” Phoenix replied, shaking his head in mock worry for his brother’s sanity.

Had it really been that long? How had Austin so easily marked the time Sofi had been missing from his life but hadn’t even noticed how long his brother had been back? His head was a mess. And he didn’t even have the energy to want to pull it together.

“Cool,” Austin muttered.

Phoenix raised an eyebrow at Austin before turning to Land, who’d just joined them in their mom’s living room. The brothers didn’t gather here as often now since Land, Memphis, and Phoenix lived in a bungalow in town—near Sofi’s home, actually—though Phoenix was now building his home on the ranch, digging in his roots the way Austin, Jackson, and Logan had. Their homes on the lake were each man’s pride and joy, though while his older brothers had opted for large ranch homes to house their future families, Austin had built a simple two-bedroom, cabin-style home. With just him there was no need for all of the extra bedrooms and frills. And the bonus was that he’d built his home in a fraction of the time it had taken his brothers or it would take Phoenix. His younger brother seemed determined to have the largest home of them all.

But tonight was just a random Thursday evening, and after work they’d all migrated here instead of to their own homes. Morgan had been happy to feed them all and they were now lounging, even though the only people who actually lived in the home, Morgan and Holland, had already gone to bed.

“Anyway,” Phoenix said to Land, as the brothers cracked up over something Austin had missed and couldn’t bring himself to care about, “how’s Brooks doing?”

After the wedding Brooks had gone right back to his last months in culinary school.

Land shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. I think he texts Mom and Holland because he knows they’ll pester him if he doesn’t, but he ignores the rest of us.”

Phoenix grunted, probably understanding. When he’d lived in Salt Lake City, he’d also kept up with his mom and sister but hadn’t bothered to contact his brothers. Austin figured it was one of the best things about having mostly brothers—not having to keep in touch.

“He does text me about the horses from time to time,” Land added.

That made sense. If anyone knew about the well-being of their animals, it would be Land. And kind-hearted Brooks would surely be missing all of them since he had to go to school states away.

“Speaking of horses,” Memphis piped up as he set out leftovers on the kitchen counter even though they’d only finished eating a couple of hours before. “Did you talk to that buyer like Logan asked?”

All three turned expectant eyes on Austin.

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