Page 94 of My Heart Will Find You

“Don’t you see how horrible this is? I changed history in a bad way. Me and the knife Rufus gave me made this happen.Idid it.”

Henry said, “Perhaps...”

Etta gritted her teeth. “Perhaps what?”

“If this wasn’t in the book when you read it before, maybe that means time is passing. Think about it. You’re not there now, so maybe time is going forward without you.”

“That would mean Max and Alice are alone. They’d think I left them. It’s what I’ve feared so much.” Her head came up. “Wait a minute. If this has already happened and I wasn’t there, then...”

“Then even if you went back, you couldn’t change it. It’s not like the lawman. That hadn’t happened so you could rewrite history.”

“But not now.”

“You don’t know what happened after you left or how long it’s been. Or what date you’d arrive next time. You could show up in 1902 for all we know. We have no control over this thing.”

She dropped down onto the chair. “This horror was all my fault. I helped with the buffalo. I must change it back. It’s my responsibility.”

“You mean you’d return and not help with the buffalo? How would that be possible?”

She put her hands over her face. “I don’t know what I mean.”

“Maybe it was fate. Kismet. Maybe you couldn’t prevent it whether you’re there or not.”

“That’s not right,” she said. “There has to be something I could do. I’d warn Lester. Whatever I had to do, I’ddoit.”

“Unless it has already happened,” Henry said softly. He looked at her in sympathy. “Sometimes I forget the energy and the beliefs of the power of youth. Maybe you could have changed things. I think it would be great if you could.”

She looked at him. “I’m very tired. I think I’ll go to bed. What about you?”

“Soon. I want to read a bit more.”

He gave her such a look of tenderness that she went to sit on the edge of the couch and put her head on his chest. “Henry...”

He stroked her hair. “Yes, I know. You’re the daughter I never had.” He kissed her forehead. “Go to bed and dream of your dear Max. I think it’s time that you found him.”

“So do I.” She kissed his cheek, then stood up. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I will always be with you,” he said. “Remember that. Always.”

They smiled at each other.

Upstairs, Etta took a long, hot shower and washed her hair. When she got into Ben’s childhood bed, she held the little iron bear tightly in her hand, and went to sleep.

Right away, she heard the clickety-clack of a train on the tracks.

Etta gave a smile of such happiness that it went down to her very soul.

17

It was raining hard as Zack made his way to the door of Henry’s small house in the back. Zack hadn’t been asleep for a day and a half, not since Henry sent him a PDF of the book he was writing.

When Zack started it, he thought it was nice of Henry to use the names of real people. It was interesting to see how the people were portrayed, both past and present.

He wasn’t sure when he began to think the story wasreal. Was it when he read of the blacksmith and the bear? Of the initials of the daughter’s name? They were connected to what Zack had found buried by the stream. And Etta had said the sod house would be full of canned peaches. Like Max in the story ate.

It was late afternoon when Zack finished the book. There was something deep in his brain that was trying to find its way out, but he couldn’t quite remember it.

He made himself a sandwich and tried to forget what he’d read. It was too fantastic, too outrageous. If he thought it was true, he’d have to believe he was the reincarnation of his ancestor, Rufus. That they both had leg injuries was just a coincidence.

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