Page 22 of My Heart Will Find You

After the two calls with her family, Etta felt better and she settled down near Henry to read. She went through a lot of the books he’d written. She could see why her father respected him so much.

Henry had written children’s books, dramatic renditions of historic events, and some scholarly works that were a bit boring. Too many dates and places for her.

She put green beans on to slow cook to prove that she could do something besides fast food, and she put a big chunk of Kansas beef in the oven to roast.

“I think you’re a wonderful woman,” Henry said when the smell reached him in the library. “You wouldn’t want to marry me, would you?”

“I’d be pleased to accept unless you think I’m too old and plain for you.”

“Old, yes, but never plain.” He gave her a flirty look.

Smiling, Etta went back to reading about sod houses. In the afternoon they watchedThe Harvey Girlson the TV in the big living room. Etta enjoyed it. “It was a more simple time.”

“To us, maybe, but not to those people then.” There was so much sadness in his voice that she changed the subject.

That night, if she dreamed, she didn’t remember any of it. And yet again, she woke in a less than happy mood.

“Want to talk about it?” Henry asked at breakfast.

“That stupid dream haunts me. I wish I could forget it.”

“How about if you think about it more?”

“More than every minute of every day?”

“That’s exactly what I mean. What if it happened for a reason? Maybe there’s something in your life here and now that relates to the story you made up in your dream.”

“This isn’t about get-Etta-married, is it?”

“Since the man you married seems to hold the least of your attention, no. What you talk about is Alice closeted away in her pretty glass room.” Henry leaned forward. “How would you change things if you went back?”

“It’s not real. I can’t—”

Henry held up his hand. “Did you tell your therapist sister about your dream?”

“Heavens no! Alicia would start analyzing it. And me. I would have to—” She broke off. “I see. Maybe I was seeing a real life problem that I need to fix.”

“Could be. Just think about what you’d like to change if you went back again.”

“Freedom for Alice.” Etta got up. “I think better in a kitchen. Those early strawberries Freddy brought aren’t the best, but I think I can use them.” Her head came up. “Freddy of the past needs to do something besides you-know-what. Men like youth, and when that’s gone women are considered useless. Not worthy of love.”

It was easy to see that she was yet again talking about what the man had said. Henry shook his head. “Your poor husband. He’s going to pay for what he said. Want some company in the kitchen?”

“Love it!” she said.

Henry was sitting at the end of the table-island, his laptop open as he line edited what he’d been writing. Etta was trying to save the strawberries.

“We should have eaten these sooner,” she was mumbling.

“Oh!” Henry said, sounding alarmed.

“What is it?”

“Caroline had the baby.” He paused. “I’m a grandfather.”

Immediately, Etta was awash in guilt and shame. “I didn’t ask. It’s been all about me. I should have—”

Henry turned the laptop to face her. “Could you read it aloud? My glasses are a bit blurry.”

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