Page 5 of Dove

I didn’t know if these guys were stupid or if they thought I was. But I filed away all the information I could gather from them. Anything that could help me escape. Anything I could use once I was out of here.

“Well, I hope it’s worth it when Maddox cuts your throat.” I braced my hands on the floor so I could sit up straighter. I looked Cigarettes right in the eyes as I spoke. The low light made them look dark and unfeeling.

Cigarettes laughed. I scrunched my nose to try and stop the putrid smell from filtering through me. He inched his boot forward until it rested on my fingers. I stifled the small squeak as he pushed his considerable weight onto my hand.

I felt a burn and a pop, the agony following soon after. But the noise of my finger breaking was drowned out by his words. “You actually think he cares about you enough to come looking? To kill for you. You’re just a whore he paid to hurt.”

My chest constricted because a part of me knew what he said was true. Maddox had paid me in the beginning. I had been a toy to him. If I knew anything, it was that Maddox didn’t care about people. He didn’t feel those types of emotions.

However, he was possessive. His feelings didn’t matter. I was his, and he would take offense to anyone touching something of his.

I smiled as I looked between them, ignoring the aches and shivers in my body. Slowly their faces fell. I could feel their apprehension as they failed to scare me. They expected me to cry. To beg. To crumble. I spent time with Maddox. He was a true demon. These regular monsters could barely touch the kind of pain he’d caused me. The pain I wanted him to cause.

“He already has.” I spoke calmly. “I watched him beat a man so badly his face looked like ground meat. Do you want to know what he did to deserve it?”

I flicked my gaze to Average, whose hand had tightened around the flashlight. I could see the fear in their expressions. “He touched me. And that was before Maddox claimed me as his. So the question isn’t if he’ll kill for me. The question is…will it hurt when you die?”

Cigarettes stood up, grounding his boot further into my hand before walking over to whisper in Average’s ear. I quickly brought my abused fingers into my lap. My pinkie was twisted at a weird angle, and blood seeped from a puncture wound on my middle finger. At least it was my right hand, which wasn’t my dominate one.

I glanced back at them. Their brows were creased, and Average’s jaw was locked tight. He shook his head at whatever Cigarettes had said. I could read their expressions. I’d spend years watching people, learning who to avoid while working at Entice, the Vancini run strip club. They were realizing they’d made a big mistake.

“I suppose…” I continued talking as if I’d never stopped. Their eyes whipped back to me. “It’ll depend on how he finds me. On what you do to me.” I lifted my broken fingers into the air and examined them. A soft tsk escaped my lips. “Broken fingers.” I gestured to my cheek. “Bruised face.” My hand swept down my body. “Risk of hypothermia.” I shook my head lightly back and forth. “Not looking good for you guys.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Cigarettes shouted. I tilted my head and smiled at the fear in his voice.

Whoever they were working with might be a villain like them, but no one was as terrifying as Maddox. I’d seen how people looked at him. Even other criminals feared him. He might not have the top title, but he had the power.

I opened my mouth to speak again, but Cigarettes sprayed me with the hose. I sputtered and jerked, trying to get away from the cold. He cut it off abruptly so I could hear him yelling at me. “I said shut the fuck up, or I will kill you.”

Please, just end it.

The thought popped out of my mind as quickly as it came. This was not a time for one of my dark moods. I couldn’t afford to be weak right now. I might think about suicide sometimes, but this was not how I wanted to die. Not here. In a concrete box, being tortured by criminals.

Average smiled as he looked down at me. “Or is that what you want, sweetheart? Is that why you’re with a psycho like Maddox? You want to die, but you’re too afraid to end it on your own. Don’t worry; we can help you with that.”

I refused to let their words sink in. Refused to believe they were right. Even if I’d thought them myself before. I pushed my insecurities away and smiled at them through my shivers. I wasn’t going to show my fear.

Both their faces fell, and without another word, they headed towards the door. I couldn’t stop myself from taunting them. “Leaving so soon? I thought we were going to have some fun.”

My voice was lost as the door slammed shut behind them. As soon as the metal lock clicked into place, my bravado fell. All my fear came rushing back. I winced at the pain in my hand as I pulled my legs closer to my chest. I tried to stop the shiver that ran through me, but there was nothing I could do.

I believed everything I said to them. I knew Maddox would kill them, but would I be alive when he got here? Even if they didn’t come back to kill me, I could die from hypothermia or dehydration. My head fell back against the wall as I closed my eyes. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do now.

It felt wrong just to wait for them to come back. Or wait for Maddox to save me. But I’d already looked for weapons. I’d already looked for a way out. And that was before they broke my finger and drenched my clothes.

My mind wandered back to what they’d said. Was I a freak? A monster because I’d allowed Maddox to hurt me? I’d let him whip me with a belt. Cut my skin with glass. Burn me with wax. Not to mention countless hits to my most intimate parts. I had to be insane to allow a man to slap my pussy. Not just allow it, but beg for it. Come from it.

And he wasn’t just a man. He was the worst of the worst of these kinds of men. I’d allowed myself to forget that. To ignore it. I’d fallen into his world. I let him make me believe it was okay.

There had always been a darkness inside me. A bleak feeling. It had told me to kill myself. Told me that life was too hard. That it was easier to leave this world behind. I’d never acted on it.

I certainly wasn’t alone in that feeling. People found all kinds of ways to deal with it. Drugs. Sex. Love. I’d coped with books. Lost myself in the fiction of romance. It was the only time I could disassociate. To forget about the world and my problems. It was how I was able to keep pushing forward.

Until Maddox. He’d made me feel alive. But at what cost?

There would be no escaping into words now. No hiding from what was happening. I’d allowed myself to hide for too long. To ignore what Maddox was. Now I was paying for it.

I didn’t know how long I sat there, but I could feel my body shutting down on me. Whether it was the overwhelming fear or a way to conserve energy, I didn’t know. Slowly the shivers stopped. My limbs became heavy, and my mind started to wander. I could no longer track my train of thought. It was all floating images and tangled words. I didn’t try to. I just let it take me. Let myself float away into nothing.