Page 25 of Dear Pink

“Mr. Whiskers interrupted our dinner the other night.” Tonya leans across the examination table, crossing her legs to reveal the black garter high on her leg. “He came to apologize.”

I lift Mr. Whiskers’ sunglasses off his face, and his pupils are marble-sized. I half-hoped he escaped the backyard and joined a feral cat gang. “No reason to apologize.”

A funny feeling creeps up my spine when she plays with the belt of her trench coat. I clutch the chart to my chest and ease toward the door. I must flee this exam room. “If we’re done here, I should keep this room open for pet emergencies,” I say, turning to run, but she grabs my arm.

“Oh, but itisa serious emergency.” She purrs at me like a cat.

My mouth flops open, but no words come. I freeze and drop the chart on the floor in a state of shock. When I reach for it, she kicks the clipboard away with her heeled shoe. I glance at Mr. Whiskers and plead for his help, but he doesn’t move a muscle. The poor bastard is stuck like me. I abandon the chart and go for the door. Tonya’s behind me in an instant and pushes the door closed while I tug it open.

“Where are you going, doctor?” She purrs again, her breath on my ear and her breasts against my back. She scratches my neck with her claw-like fingernails.

To avoid more contact with her breasts, I make the fatal mistake of turning around. Now, her face leans in so close our lips brush. “Tonya—” I manage before she plants her lips hard on mine, her tongue waging a war with my teeth to get inside. I don’t want to touch her, but her hands hold the door shut and me pinned. She presses herself against my body.

“Oh, doctor.” She opens the belt around her coat and the garment slips to the ground, flashing Tonya’s half-naked body. She reveals tassel pasties and crotchless leopard fur cat panties. I yelp, which she mistakes for reassurance. “I want you so much. I can tell you want me too, my yum-yum cat doctor,” she says in a raspy voice.

I push my back into the door. If only a superpower for disappearing would emerge now. Tonya kisses my neck and her plump breasts bounce against my lab coat. I can’t escape. She lowers her hand to stroke me. I avoid eye contact, but she thinks I enjoy this. Do I scream? What if she follows me out of the office dressed like a naked fury porn star? What if patients are in the lobby?

What would Gloria do in this situation? Gloria would knee the guy in the nuts. Can I knee a woman in her vagina? Tonya seems unstable. Maybe I should play this a different way?

“Tonya, I’m not sure this is the time and place for this?” I can’t reject her. Crazy people dislike rejection. I must distract her. “Let me go to the front and check my schedule. We should arrange a proper date.”

She leans back a little, her eyes unsure.

I crack a smile, avoiding any sudden movements. “I have a patient”—I glance at my watch and make up a time—“at 9:00.” That’s in fifteen minutes, which should give me enough time to figure out how to remove her from the office. “Let me get the patient settled, and I’ll come back.”

She says nothing, but her hands drop to her sides. I scoot down to grab her coat off the floor and slide it onto her shoulders. I might survive this after all.

“You’ll come back?” she asks.

“Sure thing.” I tie her belt and maneuver Tonya into a chair in the corner. “Be right back.” I open the door and close it in one swift motion. With my body pressed hard into the frame, I consider locking Tonya inside. I will strangle Giovanna when I get out of this situation. What did she tell the woman after I abandoned dinner? That a proper shag would drag me out of my dry stretch?

A chair scrapes the floor, and I remember the crazy woman behind the door. I shudder and step away, keeping my footsteps quiet. Ugh. How will I get rid of her?

“You’re a mess,” Gloria says as I walk to the counter. “Did the cat get you?”

“More like the cat lady.”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me she has almost nothing on underneath her trench coat?”

Gloria chokes. “Huh?”

“You heard me. The situation’s DEFCON level ten in there.”

Gloria snorts.

“It’s not funny. She assaulted me. I barely survived.”

Gloria strains to straighten her face. “Sounds serious, Gabe. Should I call the cops?”

“No, but I’m traumatized.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh, but who knew Cat Woman had it in her? Did she think your feelings were consensual or did she intend to assault you?” Gloria puts her hand over mine and her face turns serious for once. “You don’t find her attractive?”

“She’s mentally unstable. We should call a shrink for Giovanna to talk her down.”

“Yikes! How did Tonya get her signals crossed?”

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